No, I don't

 

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

 

The village idiot.

 

Next time there is a vacancy for his job which celebrity is best qualified to replace the village idiot ?.

Any Kardashian

 

If your car says Dodge on the front of it do you really even need a horn?

Was my last question not stupid enough?

1. Pretty sure all the blokes will say yes, and the univorns...and there's even a fair few chicks who like to ride the horn from time to time.

 

2. I don't think there can ever be enough stupid.

 

Is it normal to want to be a carrot?

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? 

Edited June 12, 20206 yr by WeegieWoman

On 6/12/2020 at 2:59 PM, notsmokinjo said:

 

Is it normal to want to be a carrot?

 

As long as you don't want to eat yourself, yes

 

Cal I wear sweat pants if I don't plan on sweating?

Do people normally make a plan to sweat?

 

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

With enough water, yes

 

 

Did anyone ever find out who let the dog out?

 

Altoona C men's team during the 2014 season final...great way to loose the flag, disqualified for fighting.

 

Why do the excel colours on the screen not print on the black n white printer.

The paper's in backwards

 

 Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

No, they normally take a 3 1/2 hour nap in a nice warm oven before dinner.

 

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

According to Seri: cheese doesn't talk. If you're hearing cheese talk go to your nearest psych ward or call 911 

 

Can I tell if my husband is cheating from his farts?

When they smell like a french whore

 

Refried beans, what was wrong with the first time they were fried

Nothing, refried beans just sounds better than leftover beans

 

Why is Greenland called Greenland when it's white and covered with ice?

Because Iceland was already taken

 

Why does a praying mantis kill it's mate?

Because he's tasty

 

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Because you can't drive or park on sidewalks

 

Why is it so hard for people to park between the lines?

for the same reason they can't read between the lines

 

 

 Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Because you can't spout foul language with your mouth closed

 

Why do women try and put makeup on while driving

We like living dangerously

 

Why is it peanut butter and jelly and not jelly and peanut butter?

Because peanut butter is definitely the major player here

 

What's the difference between a submarine and a hero sandwich?

The hero is the one.who can finish a submarine sandwich

 

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?

Because triangular boxes would be odd.

 

Why do boxers fight in a square enclosure but they call it a ring?

Because there's no corners in a circle

 

Why is the underground level of a house called the basement?