January 25, 201511 yr Author Thanks guys. Done a lot of eating, wine and tears this weekend. Will force myself forward. I am sure I did nothing bad, thanks for phrasing it so well...when I answer these questions in my head my way is clear, I did nothing bad at all, simply defended myself which I stand by. A somewhat shaky onwards and upwards and like you say, one thing at a time. x
January 25, 201511 yr ...when I answer these questions in my head my way is clear, I did nothing bad at all, simply defended myself which I stand by. Sometimes having that clarity gives us the strength we need to get through the hard times. I wish I had the answers on how to handle challenging family dynamics but I don't.....but do have my understanding. Stay true to you and you won't go wrong.
January 26, 201511 yr Author Going to stop focusing on it, run with distraction like I did when I quit. Knowing that if I marked time I would have the freedom others promised me...sounds like a familiar tune! I trust you guys that this didn't sound right to you either when I already suspected that. Don't think I will ever be "ok" with this or that I obviously buried myself in a smoking haze and never noticed how bad it really was.... There is some fabulous stuff coming for me, I can feel it in me bones :) One day at a time until it's done. That I can do. Really, all of you who answered and advised/empathised...thank you. It means I can re focus myself having got it out now I think and concentrate on the good things and those I can fix one at a time. x
January 27, 201511 yr Well, good on yer then, Marti. A bit of the stiff upper lip, whot? Mustn't get your knickers in a twist, eh? Carry on, there's a good girl. Pip pip, cheerio!! (Yes, I used to love old English movies from the 30's and 40's. Lord Peter Wimsey was to die for! Do you folks still talk that way? It's pretty funny! :) )
January 27, 201511 yr Author I hate to dissapoint you Crys, so yes...yes they do :D (shhh they don't really, more likely to say init for isn't it but maybe some posh people can still do that)
January 27, 201511 yr Well absolutely one continues verbal discourse in such a manner. What a funny enquiry. What Ho!
February 28, 201511 yr Hey, Marti, how are you doing these days? Has your mother found other accommodations? What is your thinking now about your career aspirations? Hang in there, honey, better days are just around the corner!
March 1, 201511 yr Author Hi Crys, Thanks for asking, I am still struggling a little but nowhere near as over whelmed as I was. My mother hasn't found anywhere acceptable yet. She is limited as she can't afford regular rent so must wait for a place to be available through the council (the local authorities) and that takes as long as it takes for people in the accomodation to frankly move or die. Harsh but true. My 9 year old has gone and said how awkward it is, to her fathers new bit...that stings me as a Mum. Not because she hasn't said it to me as she has, but that it's affecting her enough for her to voice it to others. I have written to the council saying they must help urgently or I will hand my notice in here and move thus making her homeless without any waiting...I am hoping it doesn't come to this but am prepared to do it if there is no end in sight by the end of march. Started a computer course last week :) Can't jobhunt until I my Mum has gone really as I am her carer, despite not wanting to be, I am responsible enough that I respect she does need some help and I want peace of mind out of this whole thing. Considering other courses to keep building my skill sets ready for work, also to get me a break from being stuck in so much. Volunteering back at the school now and loving it once a week. Insanity class once a week on an evening class and yoga most other days. Waiting for weather to break a little more and maybe go out running, or if not walking. I feel very trapped here and the air and space combined with fitness really resets me. Just timings is all. Trying to stay upbeat but keep having low spots. This time next year none of this will matter. in 11 sleeps time I will have quit for 1 year. I'm holding my own. x
March 1, 201511 yr First I read this today....should probly wate fer update but what the hell... As a posh tea drinker who meet you.... Jobs:and reason Stripper (your preti hot) Mary Poppins at Disney (cuz your hot and sound like her) Bed warmer- you know why Pro- Tour Director- like to party and your hot Wine and Spirits taster- same as above Pub manager- not your money and can set your hours if its got good employees/owner. If not then move on to one that does- same as above and experience Bully/ Dominatrix - your mean to me and hot (not really mean enough to tickle my fancy, but mrs can teach you how to be tough over spacebook) teacher- well at least on the stuff you know, maybe not in elementary school but to the people who ask about your interests... Model for underwear- cuz I saw yours and they were .... BUT do not apply for a position at Disney being a tram guide. Mrs says I can work there only as tram driver since I would have no contact with public in the front boxed in seat. If you got assigned to tram guide in rear of one I drive it would be downhill to the DOWNTOWN DISNEY bar area. At 10 am to wait for them to open. Think we would be looking again the next day for work... As for mother- good luck. Facebook- nothing but trouble at times. Choise this year to free yourself and don't care so much about others gossip. UNfriend them for a period if needed. Chris- lean on him, he can handle it. But make sure he knows you appreciate it. Not verbally/ physically. Rub his arm and smile. Then take off those Mary Poppins tea drinking panties....
March 1, 201511 yr Thanks for the update, Marti. I'm so pleased that you are now taking a computer class! In this day and age, that really is a fundamental skill so it's great that you have mustered up the courage to take that on. Once you become comfortable with basic computer operations your marketability and your self-confidence will both increase dramatically. Even in your field of holistic healing, you need to be able to use computers to communicate with customers and with vendors and to keep the books and such. So keep up the good work! As for your mother, I think you might be smart to keep reminding the council once or twice a month that your mother REALLY needs a placement. But as you say, they probably have to wait for someone else to move away or die. So try to keep things as calm as you can with your mum and remind yourself that she will be moving out ASAP. That has got to help your spirits, right? Keep focusing on the future and keep taking baby steps in the direction you want to go in. Next thing you know, you will look back and find that you HAVE succeeded, just like with quitting smoking! You can do it!
March 2, 201511 yr Author I'm pleased to report I know far more on the course than I gave myself credit for. Session 3 complete and I'm not learning anything new really, just learning the proper terms so far but that's a good way to build confidence for me. So thanks Crys, really appreciate the support. bakon, Many thanks for the backhanded compliment. No to the dominatrix tho, bit busy and already in charge of enough stuff lol. Also as cute as florida was, I'm an english rose through and through, so I can't do disney either. So you're safe to do the tram job and not be waylaid by a troublemaker suggesting sneaky drinkies :) Other than that it just made me laugh so thanks! x
March 3, 201511 yr marti hang in there your doing fine we are here if you need us sorry you had somethings going on that upset you ((((((((((((marti))))))) send you a giant hug xoxox
March 4, 201511 yr Hi Marti...hang in there my friend. It is truly amazing how everything happens for a reason...you will find your silver lining in all of this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..hang in there! XX
March 4, 201511 yr One day at a time Marti, love That's all we have..this moment Everything will work out the way it's supposed to work out...it always does. You know this. Prayers for you for guidance and strength. :) xo
March 4, 201511 yr Author Thank you guys. Your support has been a godsend all the way through this. xx
March 4, 201511 yr Hey Marti - you can do this ! Looking at what you have already achieved you have some great skills to market ! Happy to review applications etc if you need anything - just pm me :-)
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