January 21, 201511 yr Got a letter about dates and times of the court case against my ex and I just felt really scared and sat on my sofa crying for about an hour. Phoned in sick to work. Not been able to do anything today. Why do I have to be this pathetic? I hate it. Why can't I just be like what I want to feel. He is horrible, he beat me, he's beat others, he needs to pay for what he's done. But all I do is curl up in a ball and cry. And hours later I'm still sobbing. My face looks a mess. All puffy. No wonder people don't want to be with me. I really fcking hate me Sorry Just ranting
January 21, 201511 yr You are NOT pathetic, you are emotional and you did the right thing by just being at home today and having a good cry You are going to court, so deep down you know this bastard has to be accountable! And that shows bravery on your part and I see nothing pathetic in that! Sarah I thoroughly recommend you sign up to a self defence class, there are loads to choose from and it will do wonders for your confidence and to get your **** you attitude on! You are a beautiful smart woman don't forget that and with confidence you will run rings around this creep, he knows it that's why he used violence and mental games, to keep you in a box Be kind to yourself today, pamper, indulge and watch movies with kickass actresses xxx
January 21, 201511 yr Sorry to hear this Sarah - it is actually not uncommon to have that fear and anxiety -my sister I mentioned to you a while back went through similar things her a hole ex actually convinced a court she had a drinking problem and forced her to rehab for no reason - all because she didn't sick up for herself- no one deserves to be treated the way you were - but you did move in you had a brief amazing relationship with a friend that ended well - being scared is one thing that is a power he has always held over you - funny thing is as soon as he realizes that power is gone he won't do it anymore because his joy from it will be gone - He is pathetic - you were lucky to get out when you did - you felt joy after that pain with someone else - focus on those things - he can't hurt you anymore - you are free , you have an amazing quit going and if you let yourself heal independently, you will forever be changed - F%!@%* him he's gone - file whatever you can and move on.... don't waste your time or energy on him - work would most likely have been a much better choice to not think about it.. Vacation days are for fun
January 21, 201511 yr That's not pathetic at all. You feel scared and anxious because you are doing the right thing...and because it means a lot to you. If it wasn't scary then it wouldn't be life-changing. Don't hate you...just take it as a sign that you are on the right path. PS - Pathetic would have been if you beat your partner and others. Not the other way around.
January 21, 201511 yr Nothing pathetic in crying chick, nor in being strong enough to take a stand...opposite of pathetic actually. You are a beautiful woman with a full, happy and healthier life in front of you. Do the court thing, get it done and move yourself forward safe in the knowledge you did the right thing. Today be gentle with yourself. xxx Agree with Tracey, in as much as you need something to build some self confidence back up. Martial arts might not be a bad thought? x
January 21, 201511 yr Be kind to yourself for goodness sake! Yes, hands on my hips in my mummy voice... All this has no doubt has stirred up all sorts of extremely unplesant memories, no wonder you are very upset and crying. Don't confuse your feelings currently with 'you'. You hate the extremely sad emotions that you are reliving, but that's what it is an emotion. You are brave and I have a lot of time for folk that stand up for what's right... Very classy and you have my respect, and a tissue to wipe your snotty nose and a cyber (((hug))))
January 21, 201511 yr The old you 'scared etc' may realise you thrive and overcome this even crying makes you free as every tear heals!
January 21, 201511 yr Better days will be ahead Sarah. Trust in that. :) Now, if me and several QSQT guys could "meet up" with this ex, things would go down slightly differently. Man, what a pu*sy.
January 21, 201511 yr Sarah, I don't understand why you were crying. Are you afraid to face your ex in a courtroom? Are you afraid that he will stalk and hurt you? Are you heartbroken because you had loved this man and are crushed to know that he's not the man you thought he was? Do you think that you will never find love again or if you do find love, that you again be making a mistake? As you can see, there are a lot of reasons why one MIGHT cry upon receiving such a letter. Which one(s) apply to you?
January 21, 201511 yr Author Why am I crying? I think it started with remembering being frightened and in pain, and then angry because I dont want to feel anything for him, I want nothing, he means nothing to me and why the hell does he have the right to still get me upset when I'm done with him, its not fair, I don't want to be broken, I want to be safe and secure and not scared all the time, its not fair
January 21, 201511 yr Author I'm such a mess, why can't I be just normal, I don't want to be fragile, I did an online quiz, I'm fricking han solo!
January 21, 201511 yr And we all know online quizzes are scientifically accurate they can't lie on the internet ;)
January 21, 201511 yr sarah your 100 percent awesome any man that hits a woman is not a man but a coward hes not worth you time you derserve better than to be hit so dont give up hang on to the people here and trust in your self (((((((sarha ))))))
January 21, 201511 yr Sarah, fcuk him... You are special, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise... Perhaps once this while mess is over, and he's got what he deserves, you can start to feel safe again. Stay strong a Sarah, we are here for you! :)
January 21, 201511 yr Sc*w people who judge, if sobbing relieves then sob - but then pick yourself up and dust yourself off telling yourself "I got out and you know what he can expect a person that is stronger than him in court...." He has no power over you and although it hurts don't punish yourself for the past sweetie!
January 21, 201511 yr Author I wish it was as easy to say FCK him and move on, I have moved on but that doesn't stop me recoiling every time a man brushes past me, I hate being like this, I hate crying alone at night, I know I'm broken and I can't fix me, I don't want to be like this, I don't want to end up as a crazy cat lady
January 21, 201511 yr I know, from another perspective but I know - it will get better. You need to process this!
January 21, 201511 yr Sarah, than you for your response. From what you describe, it seems to be that periodic outbursts of tears, fears, rage and shame are perfectly normal. Sometimes even bad enough to make you stay home and cry all day. But in time you WILL recover yourself. You WILL find a new love with a better man. And the sun WILL shine on you and your life again. I agree with Tracey that it would be really, really good for you to sign up for self-defense and/or martial arts classes. It will be great for venting your frustration, building your physical strength and becoming more confident in yourself. What will all the money you're saving by not smoking, investing some of it in self-defense classes would be an EXCELLENT investment!
January 21, 201511 yr (((((( Sarah )))))) I know this is hard for you....try and stay strong sweetheart.... Xxxx
January 21, 201511 yr Okay first he is the pathetic piece of trash... not you. Remember that always. I'm such a mess, why can't I be just normal, I don't want to be fragile, I did an online quiz, I'm fricking han solo! :) Han is a badass! :) "I love you" "I know" :D :D And.. I'm 97% awesome Neh, you are 100% awesome And we all know online quizzes are scientifically accurate The internet doesn't lie! Unfortunately there are some assholes on the internet who do (watch out for them I fell for someones bullshit once). ;) I wish it was as easy to say FCK him and move on, I have moved on but that doesn't stop me recoiling every time a man brushes past me, I hate being like this, I hate crying alone at night, I know I'm broken and I can't fix me, I don't want to be like this, I don't want to end up as a crazy cat lady You don't need a man to be happy. You need to love you first before anything else. I think you are a pretty amazing person and I hope that you can see that too one day. Sorry, I know this isn't the place for this Yes, it is.
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