Trying to quit, having lots of trouble

[Sandi149]

Members

 4

Posted 1 hour ago

Hi,

 

I am a new member and trying to wean myself off of smoking, (2nd time trying to quit...first time, back in 2009 I quit for 6 years but then went back).  I have been a 3/4 pack a day smoker and I have been weaning myself off for the past 2-3 weeks.  As of now, I'm smoking 1-2 cigs a day and it's very difficult because of the physical cravings.  I'm very irritable and it's just so hard this time.  Last time I used Chantix and it was very easy, this time doing the weaning method and it's not easy at all!  Any advice?  I would greatly appreciate it. What do you do to get rid of the physical urges?

 

In addition my husband quit around 2018, but he is of no help because we don't get along...so it's very difficult and he doesn't help me!!  Is there board on this site where I can get a "quit buddy"? That would be great!!

 

I am trying to diet at the same time as quitting smoking, that's why its even more difficult...cutting back on my carbs, fats and salt...so I basically eat just salads and I go hungry most of the day!! It's just horrible!

 

Thanks so much!

Sandi

 

Btw, I posted this on the Introduction board and they recommended that I come here....so here I am...and I hope you can help me!! Thank you!  

I am really struggling!!  It's been horrible and I am crying!!! Help me!!! Please!!!

 

Here is the post from that board.  

 

Edited May 21 by Sandi149

[Christian99]

Hi Sandi--

 

Most quitting experts--both professional and amateur--recommend against the weaning method you're attempting to use.  There are lots of reasons for this, but I'll highlight two.  First, you're basically putting yourself in a state of perpetual withdrawal, as each cigarette restarts the physiological "need" to smoke again.  The initial stages ARE pretty rough for most quitters, but you're not giving yourself an opportunity to move through and beyond them with the weaning method.  Second, reducing the number cigarettes results in most people ascribing even greater psychological and symbolic significance to the the smokes they're waiting for and "allowed" to have, making the pivot to complete abstinence even more difficult.  

 

FWIW, nicotine replacement therapy in the form of gum, lozenges, or patches is generally a much more effective (and most certainly healthier) method for people who feel like the absence of nicotine will be too challenging in the initial stages.  I used the gum, for instance, and it was a helpful tool.  But continuing to smoke--even in reduced amounts--seems counterproductive and doesn't fully acknowledge the realities of addiction and insane toxicity of cigarettes (which is not the same as nicotine itself).

 

Finally, If Chantix helped before, it's worth thinking about using it again.

 

You can do this, friend--I'm sure others will offer additional perspectives and encouragement.

 

Christian99

21+ Years Quit   

[Slow progress]

I’m just 2 weeks quit and using nicotine patches - should work well for you if you don’t smoke much! Good luck.

[Sandi149]

2 minutes ago, Slow progress said:

I’m just 2 weeks quit and using nicotine patches - should work well for you if you don’t smoke much! Good luck.

Does it help with the cravings?

[Slow progress]

It really does help but you need to be prepared to commit to not smoking cigarettes too! Use the website and sign up to the nope pledge - and keep on trying - even if you fail at first! 
 

once you really decide to do it, it’s easier than you think….

Edited May 22 by Slow progress

[Brioski]

We’re all here to support you Sandi  
I think the insurmountable dread is way worse in your head than how it actually is, but there are cravings, emotions.  They do go away tho gf. 

[Doreensfree]

Just jump in ...

Believe in yourself ...

You can do it ..

We can give you all the advice to help you .

But you have to fo the work ..

Dont over think ..

Take it one day at a time ..deal with your feelings daily ..dont worry about the future feelings 

Keep it simple...

[Gus]

Hello Sandi! It’s great that you are reaching out for help. I quit by using the patch. They helped me so much by reducing the severity of the withdrawal issues. I skipped Stage 1 altogether, shortened Stage 2 drastically and I really don’t think that I was on Stage 3 long at all before I just forgot to put a patch on and at that point I knew I was done. I still had to go through the mental hell of quitting but I can say that made me a stronger person too. I confronted and dealt with a lot of issues I had been carrying around for a long time while I was clawing my way up and out of that darkness. I’m 2 years quit! You’re going to have to let those last two cigarettes go. Like Christian said, they are keeping you in a constant state of withdrawal and your anxiety levels are worse because of it. I hope that you find the help you need here. We all want to see you quit and living your best life!

[Sandi149]

Thank you everyone for your replies!  I know I have to give up the 2 cigs, I am really going to try my best.  I think I will get the patch or maybe the gum or lozenges.  

 

Since I only have been smoking 2 a day for a while now should I go on Stage 2 of the patch?

 

Did any of you get heart palpitations when you first quit?  I have noticed that I have been getting that once in a while.

[Slow progress]

You could probably start on stage 3 if you only smoke 2 cigs or check with the pharmacist - maybe the gum or lozenges may be more appropriate for you! I’d t have any palpitations - probably the opposite!

[intoxicated yoda]

hello @Sandi149 you've gotten a lot of great advice from a lot of good folks who want to see you succeed.  I'll throw my 2 cents in and maybe you can find something of value in it.

1.  i switched brands for a few months before I actually quit.  I can't say it  helped but it was an action toward my intention so in that respect I guess it did help.

2.  I didn't set a quit date.  i tried that so many times before and I always ended up smoking twice as much as normal the day before my quit date and then i would smoke half as much again on my quit date.  I'm weird, I know, but I'm doomed to sabotage myself for life it seems.  Anyhow, instead I set a goal to be quit for at least 1 month before the next significant date in my life.  Then one day I just decided to not buy anymore cigarettes.  I had been a few days quit before I actually decided to commit to it.  It was a few weeks later before I even realized the day I decided to stop buying cigs was exactly 30 days before my significant date.  The mind is so mysterious.

3.  I didn't tell anyone in real life I quit until after I'd been quit for about 2 months.  The folks on this forum knew I quit before my kids did.  Again, I'm weird like that.

4.  I started a thread that I kept updating on my progress then every once in a while I would go back and read it.  The interaction that I got on it was very helpful.  Also playing games and interacting with the people here who had already quit like Jillar, Doreen, Gus, Johnny and Mac to name a few.  These people became my tribe and quitting was the price of admission to that tribe in my mind.

5.  And most importantly, there is nothing wrong with you if you struggle.  I used this forum to vent my frustrations and lash out.  Probably 95% of the posts that I typed never made it as posts as I would just delete them.  It will suck, but there is nothing to fear.  99% of what you do and who you are will be the same, only better.  The other 1% is inconsequential or needed changed anyway.  We love quitters here so you will be loved and encouraged even if none of us can quit for you.  The only thing left for you to do is to take that leap of faith, put the cigs down and just don't pick them back up again.  It's just that simple.  It's not easy, but it isn't complicated.  Good luck Sandi and welcome aboard.

[Sandi149]

Well, I think today is the day that I don't smoke those 2 cigs.  I'm gonna give it my best shot! I'm scared, but I'm gonna do it!!

[intoxicated yoda]

You can do it, Sandi.  Just let those 2 cigs go and you'll see that there is nothing to fear.  

[Gus]

Stay close to us today @Sandi149 and reach out with an if needed. We are here for you!

[garry mhudson]

Good for you Sandi and welcome aboard. Great advice from all above but you have to do the hard work. Use the gum or patch if they help. I would consider not worrying about the diet for right now. Just eat normal meals. I would not go through having to fight hunger at the same time. Deal with the weight later. Stay close and best wishes. S.O.S. if need be. Relax and try to stay busy and keep your mind occupied with positive thoughts as much as possible. You are strong enough to do this and just accept that there will be tough times. We all had them. See yourself smoke free and keep going towards that goal You can do it. Best wishes.

 

 

[Sandi149]

Thanks!!

 

Will there come a time when I don't think of smoking every minute of the day?  The urges today seem to be constant, so this is not easy at all!  I have been using cinnamon sticks in place of actual cigarettes....they sort of help.

 

When you all got the urges, what did they feel like?  for me it seems to be a feeling in my mouth.  It's not a pain and doesn't hurt,  but just an annoying and aggravating feeling.  I hope these urges go away soon.  Having this all the time could be a nightmare! Yikes!!

[Doreensfree]

The longer you put between you and cigerettes the easier it gets..

If it didnt all us long timers wouldnt be here ..

we have lots of stuff here to do ,to keep you busy ..

Read and learn ..games ..funny animals and more ..

Supporting others makes your quit stronger..

Remember..

Never stick anythjng in your mouth and set fire to it...

Congratulations..your now a none smoker .

 

 

 

[Sandi149]

4 minutes ago, Doreensfree said:

 

Never stick anythjng in your mouth and set fire to it...

LOL!!  I'm not smoking the cinnamon sticks, just holding them in my mouth and blowing air through the hole. 

4 minutes ago, Doreensfree said:

 

 

 

 

[jillar]

The constant thoughts of smoking can just about drive you crazy but like Doreen said the longer you go the better it'll get where one day you'll wake up and realize you've gone hours without thinking about them. Its an awesome feeling and happens at different times for everyone. Some quicker than others.

I used an air cigarette too and it worked great at tricking my mind into thinking it was getting the real thing.

You're just starting your quit and it'll take about three days for the nicotine to leave your system, that will probably be the hardest days so just knowing this gives you a leg up

[intoxicated yoda]

@Sandi149the urges were very strong for me.  it would manifest as a knot in the back of my throat or in the pit of my stomach accompanied with a feeling of impending doom.  This did subside after some time.  I would also walk or do deep breathing exercises in place of smoking.   The constant thought of smoking will also subside after a while.  my opinion is that the thoughts can be a good thing in the beginning as those thoughts come from you not mindlessly lighting up.  stick with it.  you can do this.

[Gus]

Sandi, my urges were a gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach. Sort of like an empty feeling that was calling to be filled. It’s the same now and before quitting when I am experiencing anxiety, but it was more prevalent during my first 9 months of being a non smoker. Being a non smoker gets easier, I promise. Don’t give in. It’s so worth it. 

[Brioski]

It so gets easier Sandi and I’m still a newbie. In the beginning the craves were like my mind speaking to me “smoke smoke smoke smoke” lol. Looking back it’s funny but in the moment it sucked. I felt big emotions - sadness, depression, anger, anxiety. But I’m seriously telling u, those thoughts and big emotions do go away. Even though it doesn’t feel like they will, they do. 
Keep near here and read read, go on TikTok, go for walks, watch crap tv, etc. the name of the game for me was distract distract distract. 
We’re proud of you! 

[Doreensfree]

1 hour ago, Sandi149 said:

LOL!!  I'm not smoking the cinnamon sticks, just holding them in my mouth and blowing air through the hole. 

 

Not lighting your cinnamon stick ..? 

Yaaa ,phew ..glad to hear it S ..lol 

[Sandi149]

2 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

@Sandi149the urges were very strong for me.  it would manifest as a knot in the back of my throat or in the pit of my stomach accompanied with a feeling of impending doom.  This did subside after some time.  I would also walk or do deep breathing exercises in place of smoking.   The constant thought of smoking will also subside after a while.  my opinion is that the thoughts can be a good thing in the beginning as those thoughts come from you not mindlessly lighting up.  stick with it.  you can do this.

Yeah, I guess mine is kind of like a knot as well, in addition to a feeling on my tongue and the feeling of impending doom.  I have been drinking way too much coffee today, I'm on my 4th cup!

1 hour ago, Brioski said:

It so gets easier Sandi and I’m still a newbie. In the beginning the craves were like my mind speaking to me “smoke smoke smoke smoke” lol. Looking back it’s funny but in the moment it sucked. I felt big emotions - sadness, depression, anger, anxiety. But I’m seriously telling u, those thoughts and big emotions do go away. Even though it doesn’t feel like they will, they do. 
Keep near here and read read, go on TikTok, go for walks, watch crap tv, etc. the name of the game for me was distract distract distract. 
We’re proud of you! 

How long did it take for your cravings to go away?  I hope this will only last a few days and not weeks or months!  Geez, I don't know if I can get through it, if it lasts that long!

[DenaliBlues]

Hi, @Sandi149. Congrats on starting your quit - that's wonderful!

 

You CAN make it through this. How long were you a smoker? I was a heavy smoker for more than 40 years. I remember early in my quit I was really eager to know  "When will this misery end?!" Folks here on the board gave me the perspective that a decades-long addiction is going to take time to heal. 

 

But here's the good news: even if the cravings don't evaporate right away, their intensity will definitely diminish as your "quit muscles" get stronger. They will come less often, and thoughts of smoking won't dominate your mind as much. Every hour and day that your quit grows, every crave that you make it through, is further proof that you CAN be free.  I agree with @Brioski that distraction is key. Cravings are not commands - they are just super annoying commercials for garbage you don't wanna buy any more. "Change the channel" by giving yourself other tasks/activities/thoughts to focus on.   

 

FYI, I found that quitting smoking increased my caffeine sensitivity. A lot. Every body is different, so if coffee is working for you, enjoy!! But if you find yourself getting antsy or jittery, or feeling like you can't fully catch your breath, consider blending in some decaf...

 

Keep posting here, we're all cheering for you!