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on the absolute edge

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I'm at work and could not get any closer to the edge.  I want one so bad.  My brain is telling me one wont hurt, and then at the same time its telling me not to.  There is some serious angel/devil on my shoulder stuff going on right now.  I am sipping grapefruit juice as I hold back the tears.  The tears are caused by fear I will erase all of this progress and have to start all over, the fear that I am not strong enough to do this for the rest of my life, and the fear of being a failure.  I am having serious doubts.  Maybe I should have weaned? Maybe I'm not ready? Smoking has always been my crutch and MY thing.  It was my outlet and now I have taken it away from myself.  I want to either scream, punch someone, or both 

Brittany... Smoking will do nothing for you, except make you feel like crap.

 

You think you feel bad now, you will feel 100 times worse if you smoke!

Brittany, please take some deep breaths.  This is all temporary.  Everything your feeling now is normal.  You have removed the only coping mechanism you know and now your feeling helpless.  It will pass. 

 

All those questions of doubt that your thinking are illusions.  They are part of the lie.  You are not a victim to these damn things.  You can and will be in control of your own body.  Just work through this.  Cigarettes cause fake receptors in your mind and they are dying.  Let em die.  Your natural ones will take over and you will feel so good. 

 

Keep on going girl.  The only way off this roller coaster is to keep riding it.  It will get better.  I promise.

 

Go splash some cold water on your face.  That helps also.

Do not worry about the future so much Brittany - take it a step at a time one minute, one hour, this day

 

Your brain is trying desperately to find excuses right now to get a nicotine fix - this is not you talking - its your addiction to nicotine

 

you do not need to wean yourself off and you are ready! - there is never a good time or ideal time to quit - only the here and now

 

you may not feel it yet but you have come a long way from the start of day 1 - your body is healing, these feelings you have are testimony to that

 

when possible go for a long walk, take deep breaths

 

watching hypnosis videos on youtube helped calm me down too

 

if you are able get into some physical exercise

 

this is your time to fight brittany - this is your life

 

keep reading here and posting

 

you will get through this one step at a time 

You are strong enough, because you've already done the hardest part! It gets easier each day. You are strong enough. We've been there, we know what it's like!

 

And don't take any crap from your innerjunkie about 'not being strong enough' or 'should have weened myself off them' or 'just one won't hurt'... You are a nicotine addict, and just one will start your withdrawal from the very beginning again. And that would be a living nightmare (quite literally)

Get on youtube and look at smoking cancer videos.  RETRAIN your thinking.  You wonder if your not strong enough to do what ?  Say no to an inanimate object that has no purpose but the one you give it ?  Brittany, it will KILL you. 

 

Remember all your reasons to stay quit.  Think about them.  Hard. 

 

It's okay to cry.  Cry all you want.  Go outside, if you can, and scream.  Stay close to the board.  Read, read, read. 

 

You CAN do this !!!!  I know you can.  And so do you.......

Remember this ?

 

"I have 3 reasons for quitting

 

1. I want to see my kids grow up, and their kids, and so on.

 

2. Its too expensive

 

3. I am committed to my new lifestyle that includes jogging/running"

 

Number 1 is pretty darn powerful. 

Yeah, I wouldn't recommend punching someone (you did say your at work, right) unless your independently wealthy......... but maybe instead punch a pillow with a picture of someones face taped to it.

ok hun how are you doing - hopefully the crave is passed now?

brittany dont you dare throw the towel in!!!

 

you tell that thinking to shut the F up - get mad with yourself go into the bathroom look in the mirror and give yourself a dam good talking to

 

you can do this and get through this

 

yes it is hard but we are here, we have done it and we are not super human or special

 

come on you can so do this

Please tell is how you are when you can.

 

Don't give up!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVEyGdqwjmQ

 

Brittany,

 

Your body and brain are used to getting it's fix of nicotine every 20-30 minutes.  You've cut the supply of poison off and it's screaming right now.  That was the deal we signed up for when we started smoking.  Either we break the cycle of addiction to find freedom and good health or we let the addiction kill us.

 

What you're going through now are the consequences of smoking and I can tell you that this is small potatoes compared to suffering from a tobacco related disease like emphysema or lung cancer.  May not seem like it right this moment, but once you get over this hill and can see your life without cigarettes, it makes this all worth it.

 

When you decide to quit, "get comfortable being uncomfortable" because anything that is worthwhile attaining is going to involve some sacrifice, discomfort or stepping outside of our comfort zone.  Trust us when we say that this is only temporary.  Gotta toss in the Yo Elliot video here as it applies.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEnHzV9XpL0

 

Have you read Allen Carr? 

All normal. It will pass. Your doing fine. Go reward yourself for what you have accomplished already. I always tell people to buy a treat for each day the first two weeks. Anything you normally would pass on. A magazine a book a hair brush. Something you want to reward yourself for the work you put in. Have to treat yourself because it's hard the first week

  • Author

I'm doing ok right now.  drinking lots of water and watching the new season of Orange is the new Black to try and distract myself.  I'm still emotional, but there isnt much I can do about that

I'm doing ok right now.  drinking lots of water and watching the new season of Orange is the new Black to try and distract myself.  I'm still emotional, but there isnt much I can do about that

Good for you. It sucks, I know, but the only way to beat it is to push through and not smoke. When you wake up tomorrow, you will be so glad that you didn't smoke!!

I'm doing ok right now.  drinking lots of water and watching the new season of Orange is the new Black to try and distract myself.  I'm still emotional, but there isnt much I can do about that

I watched orange is the new black to distract myself when I first quit too!

The mentality of, 'they have it way worse than me.'

 

This first part of a quit can be tough at times, but I promise, very shortly it will be way better.

 

Last night my heart literally skipped a beat, and I remember that used to happen quite of often when I was a smoker. First time it's happened since then, and I'm not worried about it, but when you are smoking and those types of things happen on any kind of regular basis, it's terrifying. So very soon all that type of fear goes away too. You are doing great so far!!

If you smoked,you would hate yourself....it would stink.....

Then you would be depressed wondering why you wanted one in the first place.....

My junkie thinking kept me hooked for 52 years....don't let this be you.....

If I can do it...you can......believe it.....

Smoking is not on the table.....some days I repeated this all day.....

It really does get easier......take it steady....and don't look ahead .just stay in the moment your at now....

I will not smoke for the next 5 minutes.....keep repeating.....

Hugs

Doreen

One trick that helped me a lot the first days was thinking on the abstinence syndrome (anxiety, etc) like if it was a kind of flu or cold. Usually people cope with the a little disgusting symptoms of a cold without doing anything too much special. They assume them and continue doing with their regular lifes and everyday routines and many times a day they forget the symptoms. The times you remember the anxiety, you can say to yourself that you know absolutely for sure that the symptoms will go one day (a near day).

 

This helped me a lot during the first week (the worst one as I remember). I got that trick from one of the Allen Carr's books. Some of the rest of tasks to do in order to give up smoking relates to behavior reeducation but that's a topic on its own. Hope it helps...

The emotional thing is very real. We all cried more. I like to think we cry out some toxins, it helped me cope with the emotions taking me by storm.

 

Day 3 is a toughie hun. The fact you are hanging in there says you have today covered and that's all you think about for now ok. Today the nicotine is trying desperately to keep you, it's a battle and you are winning already by doing nothing more than not smoking. 

 

If possible flipping your thinking on the better times of the day helps - when you are not craving to smile and think look at me the non smoker now and embrace that, it's what we want after all!!  Power of positive thinking and the healing of tears which is simply our bodies way of releasing pent up emotion.

 

Hugs. xx

Hey Brittany - I hope you are waking up to a brand new Day 4.

 

Sounds like yesterday was a toughie. 

 

Good. 

 

Remember what that felt like. Close your eyes and relive that feeling.

 

You will NEVER EVER need to feel like that again as long as you stick to one little rule - NOT ONE PUFF EVER.

 

It is the cigarette that makes you feel like you felt. No never-smoker ever goes through what you have just been through - because they never used the cause - the cigarette.

 

Again - you have done the worst. You will never need to feel like that again.

 

WELL DONE! Congratulations! 'Atta girl!

 

The emotions thing? Normal. As a XXL Hairy-arsed Scot - I obviously never cry. I have found however that since quitting, a lot of bugs fly into my eye ;)

Brittany I'm glad you got through you did wonderful

be strong brittany and remember do not look into the future with your quit, think today for now and as time passes you will see the future easier.

Well done for not smoking, as each day passes it gets easier and easier.

What I did when I got a crave was faced it full on and kept saying come on mother f@@@er do your worst and laughed myself through it, I actually wierdly kinda started enjoying getting each new crave and knowing no matter what I wouldn't smoke, was like knocking a wall down and pushing on through the next wall, felt facing it and saying things like is that the best you can do etc helped.

Defo look up you tube video's of people dying from throat, lung, mouth cancers really knocks the craving dead.

Make sure to treat yourself everyday starting off, I use to have a cake and cappuccino or something like that each evening, then every Saturday I would get my hair done or back massge, facial or buy myself something nice.

If you did give in and have a smoke Brittany I can promise you it will taste disgusting and within probably a few days or so you will be back to day 1 again so there is absolutely no point in smoking cos you know you will quit again so keep going and before you know it you will experience a happiness you have never experienced before, you will feel, look and smell bloody brilliant.

Keep going and book yourself in for a wash and blow dry or back massage for your 1 week quit.

Sue xx

  • Author

Thanks everyone!  It didnt get much better throughout the night, but when I got home from work I went for a jog and couldnt believe how much longer I could jog without trying to catch my breath.  The want to smoke is still there but so far so good. 

 

One more thing, my mother in law is in town and staying with us for a few days....if that wont push you close to smoking, not much else will.  I figure if I can make it under the same roof with her for a few days without smoking then I can overcome ANY situation that is thrown at me lol...but seriously

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