Jclarke241

Dec 26, 2014

Awesome job!

Starting school in a couple weeks. Going to get a degree in gerontology.

Thank you so much! I love reading, (although lately my head can't focus) but I just downloaded it and will begin trying to read it immediately!

How wonderful to hear of someone quitting so young. How smart you are! You'll never regret it! Welcome!

Could be either but I hope you're feeling better soon!

Not one white Christmas? That's a dream of mine but it only snows once or MAYBE twice a year here and it's never been on Christmas.

How great that you were able to mark non-smoker on your forms! Good luck on your surgery!

Thanks. This forum is THE reason I didn't just give up yesterday. I knew that the support here would help me through my rough days and so far so good.

Thank you everyone for your support. It was a rough day yesterday and I have a feeling the next few days will be rough as well. It's when I'm out driving around and don't have access to distractions and QT that I'm most vulnerable but I'm not running any errands for the next few days so it will be emotional and uncomfortable but I should be okay.

Thanks, I just watched it again (I've watched it before) and hopefully it'll stick this time.

I don't know what happened today. I woke up feeling icky (mentally) and I should never have left the house but I told myself I'd be strong enough. I need to listen to my inner voice. It took about an hour of running errands for me to decide to smoke and it was at that point I just gave up. I was tired of fighting it and stopped to buy cigarettes. I didn't even try to tell myself I just wanted one puff, I knew I was giving up completely and bought four packs (for four days). When I got home, I went out and smoked and it felt wonderful and terrible at the same time but with each cigarette (I smoked six) I felt worse and worse about myself. I felt like I was letting the world down. I kept telling myself I'd quit in the spring when I have a car and can get out of the house and have a life again but the guilt kept nagging at me. I decided to break and then throw all those cigarettes away. When my mom got home I told her what had happened and she wasn't very supportive...she's inherently unsupportive of all things emotional. I'll just have to get through this without her support. Now I'm sitting in front of my computer with the first nagging of wanting a cigarette starting but I'm committing myself to quitting again beginning a couple hours ago. I hate that I've let people down but hopefully you all will forgive my weakness and continue to stand by me.

I am being treated, I have my meds worked out. I hesitate to go to my doctor asking for an adjustment because I have a feeling the depression isn't at a clinical level, it's just because of life circumstances. More than my quit, I don't want to ruin my "stability". When I get clinically depressed it takes months of med adjustments and me being miserable so I'm pretty good about taking my meds and stuff.

I just couldn't stop obsessing about smoking. I'm told that it'll pass but after two weeks (the first week was the easiest) I just gave in. I'm want to quit again but tonight is rough. I can't stop crying. I'm not even hungry I'm so upset! :) <------------my attempt at lightening the mood.

But how long am I going to be so obsessed? I posted here and people said that it'll pass but it's not passing. If I knew for sure it'd pass, I could probably do this easier but as it is now, it just never ends.

That's the thing. I've been doing that...I even took up running and knitting. But you're right, I do want to quit or I wouldn't have posted to the board.

Another timely post. Thank you for the help...

This is a great post at a perfect time for me. I need to be reminded why I quit and that it's possible, even after a slip up.

I'm trying. I feel terrible and hate myself for slipping. I know that smoking doesn't fill the boredom it's that I have so much time on my hands that smoking is all I can think about. My first week was a breeze but these last two weeks have been hell. I thought it was the other way around. I'm obsessed with it! I have too much time on my hands. I'm trying.

How depressing.

....but I feel so guilty. I bought cigarettes today and have smoked a bunch of them. I don't want to quit but I do. I feel so guilty sitting here waiting for my mom to get home because I have to tell her. I feel like I've let the world down. I feel like most of me wants to quit but there's a part of me that just can't handle with all this free time. I've gotten a lot of advice like finding something to do but it's not working. I've tried finding things to do but there's nothing to keep me busy 24/7. It doesn't help I have an underlying depression problem which makes me as unmotivated to do anything as one can get. I've tried and tried but today I failed. I guess there's a part of me that doesn't want to keep smoking or I wouldn't be here typing this out. Someone please talk me into throwing my packs away (yes, I bought several because I was convinced I couldn't quit and just gave up.) I feel like I'm posting asking for a lot of help. I hope I'm not too needy. I swear in the Spring things will be better.

You've got three days without nicotine! Excellent!! Doesn't it feel great? Keep it up!

11 months, way to!

Good job! Keep it up!

Good job on keeping your quit through such a difficult crave. Now it's time to trash the cigarette...it does nothing but bring temptation even closer. Keep being strong and my thoughts are with you! I hope your having a good Christmas, Jen