sgt.barney

The odds are with you: You'll be fine and - hey - look on the bright side: At least you get a biopsy. They don't do biopsies on the male hanging fruit[1]. They just take the whole she-bang and you're left, like a sock in the drier [2] only to find out you were just fine in the first place and they didn't need to take it. Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] 96% of solid mass tumors on The Boys are cancer [3], so they don't want to do any cutting of bits and pieces - don't want to let malignant cells slip into the blood stream unnecessarily [2] Missing one of a matched pair. [3] Yes - The Sarge beat 96% odds and was one of the "lucky" 4% who lost a Nard for no reason whatsoever other than to find out it wasn't malignant and didn't need to go.

It wouldn't be a 70's party without The "Special" Brownies now would it? (WARNING: NSFW (not safe for work) link - don't click above if you're at work) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueEdYZxznGE Easy Peasy

5.25-miler through the woods with Mrs. Sarge. Untimed, just for the fun of the run. Easy Peasy

Ball. Singular [1] Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] HINT: look at The Sarge's profile pic. One Ball.

It appears to The Sarge: Not. Easy Peasy

"Judge - and prepare to be judged ... " [1] -- Ayn Rand It's easy to lie and say you did your best ... when you didn't. Easy Peasy P.S. - the "whole story" is this: You smoked. That's it. The whole she-bang. FOOTNOTE: [1] Because there's actually, y'know, accountability that way.

Squeezy Cheesy

Ummm... No. You didn't Easy Peasy

Sushi night @ The Sarge's place. Easy Peasy

Eleventy-Six Easy Peasy

The Sarge tells you straight up: if it wasn't bad, he'd go right back to 'em. But they're bad ... so he won't. Ditto the greasy bacon McBurgers and pizzas every night, too. But they're bad. So he won't. He won't. Easy Peasy

There's only one way out, and that's through. Ya gotta go through it to get to the other side. Suck it up and drive on. Easy Peasy

That's because hypnotism is WooWoo™ of the highest order, Jonny. Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy

If you've got it, flaunt it, baby. If someone can't handle it, that's their problem to deal with. There is no reason to hide or pretend.[1] No reason. None. Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] Oh - and fvck anyone who feels "forced to see it" . They don't deserve consideration. The Sarge doesn't want to be "forced" to consider them. So fvcking what?

Blah blah blah blah ... We all have stressors, issues and drama in our lives. The Sarge has but one question: So what? So What? What's any of that got to do with smoking a cigarette? The Sarge has a hint: Easy Peasy

Back in 2011, when informed of imminent heart attack due to poor diet and no exercise, the Triglycerides (a type of fat in the blood) were over 500. The Doc wants less than 150. Yesterday, the Triglycerides were measured at 63. The trend is good over the last several readings. 500+, 241, 85, 63. The Sarge is in a good place w/ cholesterol/fat. Good cholesterol (Doc wants over 40) is trending well, too - upwards into good territory: 13, 28, 37, 46. Glucose went from impending diabetic (119 - officially "Pre-Diabetic") in 2011 to a nice, normal 81 (they want between 70 and 99) with yesterday's labs. Lifestyle changes: Diet and exercise work, folks - The Sarge is proof positive.[1] Quitting smoking didn't hurt, either ... Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] Still trying to get off those blood pressure meds, though ...

The Sarge grows most of what he eats. With as low-cal as most fruits and veggies are, he puts up near 1200 pounds of food a year (3 freezers, 1000-ish canning jars, and a drying house bigger than most garages.) Most folks don't have a clue what it takes to supply all of their own calories for a year. 60 pounds of strawberries is about a half-pound a week each for Sarge and Mrs. Sarge. Not much at all, really. A single slice of pie a week each is just about it. Easy Peasy

The Sarge understands, Babs. In other garden news: strawberries blooming like crazy. Expect at least 60 pounds of berries this year. That's a lotta pies! Easy Peasy

Some days are in The Win Column for The Sarge if he just manages to get pants on for at least part of the day. Easy Peasy EDIT: this is not one of those days.

Most definitely they are not the same thing ... But quitting smoking is both. Easy and simple. Both. Easy Peasy

Infections are caused by biological pathogens[1], not smoking. Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] bacteria, virus, fungus, prion, and the like HINT: non-smokers get infections, too.

Ayup... and her name was Phil. Phillip Morris. Easy Peasy

How big is The Stick? Easy Peasy

Well ... Sarge could throw 'em in the pond and thrash around a bit - he hears talk while in Strange Places that it's done that way in undeveloped countries ... but The Maytag is easier. [1] Easy Peasy FOOTNOTE: [1] Modulo the aforementioned occasional unbalanced spin-cycle shutoff and alarm, of course.