Kris

Dear Abby, I am still confused about the "stinking badges" and I am more than happy to let Jillar and Doreen to keep on keeping on with their thing. I can confirm that D2 is good at conversation and I did get my bread to the neighbors today. I will try to stay up all night and play if you three want to but I have an early morning visit to the doctor. Are ya'll just funning me? If you are I will torture you when I learn the rules. K

I am so happy for all of you Boo, when a child enters the world you are truly blessed. It was and always be the greatest day of my life. It makes only sense that she knows you are her Daddy, I am sure you have been talking to her these last nine months. I believe babies can hear you or pick up on the vibrations of your voice. yes there are hard times ahead lack of sleep, no hot meals or meals together as she dictates and of those poopy diapers. My husband always came in with lysol spray in the side of his pants LOL he was just being the funny guy. Welcome to a lifetime of joy, adventure and pride. K y

Hi Jillar and Doreen, I went to start watching all the documentaries and such but I am having sound issues with my PC. Called my son and he will come over and take a look. Maybe a few days. In the meanwhile I have called my GP and have an appointment to go in on Friday, to discuss other things that might help including group therapy. Just want to you all to know you have been great with advice and support. I just think it would be good to join a group that I can talk with in person. I wish you were all close to me geographically and we could meet for coffee, lunch, dinner or anything. I will continue to be a member of the board. K

Thanks for our help Doreen ,I just posted that I think I need some in person group therapy. Has anyone done this? K

I think I will stop the acupuncture after tomorrow because I don't think it really helps. I will go into see the GP and get a referral to a therapist to help me work thru this. you all are great and if we could get together face to face it would be great. I think some in person group therapy might be helpful. K

I have both, have plenty of healthy options. Just making the wrong choices. somehow I am losing any good sense when it comes to everything except the smoking. I am willing to go to hell and back stop. K

Thanks Jillar, I read the post you suggested and Babs is right. I don't know how someone so young could have the insight into this when I have smoked longer than she has been alive. I will keep reading it over and over. It feels like my brain is broken because I know all these things but I can't make it stop. In fact I still am finding things more difficult than the day I quit. Here nor there I do not have a choice but to grin and growl and bear, so I will. K

could be, I now have stock in Frito Lay and Walmart. I have Walmart Kettle chips which I found better than the Lays brand and only $1.33 a bag. When you are on your own you have to be frugal where you can. Back to the list...frito scoops, tosito scoops, nacho cheese doritos, mixed nuts, walnuts and almonds. All salt heavy. I am so ashamed of my weakness and I am snacking on all these things but at least I am not smoking. K Ps going to take a break and cry

I thought I was doing a little better but for the last couple of hours,, my brain is sending the signal that I need to take a break and have a smoke. What the hell is the psychology of this nightmare? In control one minute and losing your mind the next, gonna break and have another nicotine lozenge. I have not watched any of the videos yet. Do they explain what is happening to us, if not, is any one out there a psychiatrist that can explain this. I swear at this point I just want to be put into a medically induced coma until this crap is over. I mean really how much strength do we have to have. Sorry, I have fallen into the black hole of anger again. I have to go back and read these things before I hit the button because my brain is telling me one thing and my fingers are typing something else, you do not want to know. K (the hulk)

I bet many of you know where that phrase comes from. Any way, between all of you and the TV, I have been able to avoid any murder charges or have animal services show up to take custody of my fur children . Does anyone else like old movies, spent the day yesterday with Andy Hardy. Also enjoy westerns, anything John Wayne, Lonesome Dove, Dead Mans Walk etc. Alfred Hitchcock...Jimmy Stewart, Lucille Ball, Doris Day, Elizabeth Taylor. The first one I would like to submit is The Quiet Man, John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. Not a western but a great movie by these two. Send me your favorites so I can have at the ready. K

I am so excited for you, sounds like your having a little vacation with your kids and grandkids. I want to do that to now that this virus thing is getting under control. Don't focus on anything but no smokes, lots of kisses and lots of fun! K

yep jillar, I'm a virtual human garbage disposal right now. I will have to get back on track later, right now I am just concentrating on the one thing I have to do. Wish you could come by and review my fridge and pantry, you would be on the ground in laughter. It is like being pregnant at 62! Doreen, I am being careful, I do not cut them in half anymore. I put one in my mouth and set a timer for 2 minutes. I remove said lozenge and place it on a saucer until I need another fix. Sometimes 2, 4 or 6 hours depending how well I am distracting myself. The instructions say I can use 9 a day, I am only using 3 or 4 a day with my new method. I want to get nicotine out of my life in everyway. K

i hope I can say this one day but I want to have a big party with food and dancing! Call all your friends and family, plan the party! You have gone a decade and bet they don't remember you even smoked. They do not realize the great gift you have given them, you are still here! K

I do use Jillar air smokes, have a huge pack!! I know that I have to get off these lozenges asap, I am experiencing the same things you describe. I don't know why this is but I picture you in Chicago not Burbank. Weird!

thank you again Linda. One morning I know I am going to wake up and see the thought for the day which says "Kris talks to much but at least she does not smoke anymore." K

Katgirl and Gary, What nice replies! Kat girl also suffered from this as a child. I remember it most vividly. I knew something was wrong when I became a teenager. I had such fear of going places wondering if I would ever get back home. With meeting new people and they would find out my secret. I never discussed this with my Mom. I think it all started when my Dad died when I was very young. I was blessed with a boy/man that did not care, he would do anything to help me grow and deal with the issue. Gary, I think you are right about meeting people that suffer as you do and give you support to keep going. I have said in multiple post I don't like technology but you are right in the fact that this has expanded my world. Trust me when I was working I was on the computer all day doing quotes on custom print jobs, promotional products, government contracts on some of these things. I even taught my self how to do artwork in Illustrator. I am lucky I can still type. I wish I could still work, it is good to keep active and busy. I started to have severe migraines after my husband passed and eventually had to quit. I have almost a daily migraine and was surprised not to have a headache at all that first week of the quit. We are all reaping the benefits of giving up the habit, better health, new friends and I think new interests. I am thinking of taking dance lessons know that I can breathe. (see, yes I do talk to much) but I have thought about smoking! K

Dear Abby, I am new but am doing it. I cried when the doctor called and said I had the beginning signs of emphysema. What's worse I cried when I told my son. I cried when to doctor called because I had to face the fact that no one but me caused this happen. I cried when I told my son about it, not that I was afraid on what I brought on myself but that I would have to say goodbye to a friend of 40 years. I cried because I did not know how I was going to able to quit. He just hugged me and said it's okay Mom, you just will have to do it a day at a time. I am dealing with the guilt and the shame of the decision I made to smoke all this time. So I think we all have to deal with that in one way or another. Then we have to make the decision that we can do it, we will quit and away we go. I don't like living alone at all but right now I am glad because I can cry when I want and I can't be cranky and fussy with any one over the fact that I, I alone am responsible for getting this done. I will do it, day 11, have not caved. I just think of my son saying I could do it. K

Thanks everyone, I am careful to follow the directions and have been actually using less of the lozenges than they recommend. I know there is such a thing as a nicotine OD, also just want to make it as easy as possible to stop using them when I am stronger in the journey. K

Glad to hear the update. I have been thinking of you. Starting a new job is so stressful. All the new things to learn, meeting new people etc. I am glad you are taking some gum today. The only thing I can suggest try to just go crazy keeping busy. Offer to do any thing that will help with that. Move around the room if you can,, stay engaged with the children, check and help them with their work if you can. If the teacher does not need you for the slow times maybe she can check with the office to see if you can help in other rooms. The added bonus of all this is that they will see that you are a hard worker and a team player. You will get that salary to start increasing fast. Hope today is easier!! K

Abby , using nicotine lozenges, I am going to do some research. I hope that is what is causing it. I will have incentive to get the nicotine out of my system. Too scared to go without it yet. K

Thanks for your support. just hate that feeling, makes it difficult to concentrate. I see your in Phoenix, the mornings there are so beautiful. My husband and I spent a lot of time there doing clinical trials when he was sick. Have to say we had a good time sight seeing and enjoying some good food. I know one thing, I can get thru the rough parts of the quit. I could not do what you have to do to take a walk, you are TOUGH. K

woke up with a sick stomach again today. Anyone else using oral NRT that feels sick at there stomach? K

I have an arsenal but still struggling. Can't do anything real physical due to recent hip replacement. I can't get up or down very easy so only so much house cleaning I can do. I am currently smoking a plastic straw, seems to help some. When I am done with my straw it will bake to the kitchen to bake. keeps me busy...but we quit smoking for better health and I can't stop eating. I have to get control or I will have a whole other problem. I am no good with technology. I love the board, first time I have ever done this. Find myself getting frustrated when I can't get things work right and just that makes me want to smoke. K

Welcome Steven, You and I are about on the same timeline. I also have noticed that I feel able to breathe easier. My dogs have informed me they want a new sofa with the savings. They as so bossy, they mess the sofa up and then just want another like money grows on fire hydrants. K

Just got up, let me check em. Still going down, they really are starting to resemble my feet. I still can't figure out what happened. I really do think the acupuncture may have done it. K