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Everything posted by Kate18

  1. Thank you, all is well now. I was in a bipolar downward drifting phase. I'm back out of it with the use of strategies I've learned through the past few years. Thank you for asking, and have a super weekend! Also, I returned to my whole plant food based diet (with the addition of eggs). It's how I ate before Covid. I only slid away from it after four months of the stress of going to work before the vaccine came out. This past Winter, I attempted keto because it is supposed to lead to mitochondrial repair and an improvement - real healing, apparently - for bipolar. Anyway, over the course of the past week, my daily resting heart rate went down 5 points, the % of time my heart rate goes below resting heart rate at night went from 0% to 90%. I'm above 5.5 hrs of sleep/night, now, almost 6. Still not enough, but it's the right trend. Off to the gym. Then the park with my dog. Sofia likes to wander a while, then throw herself on her back in a patch of clover. She spends 10-15 minutes, like that, just watching people and other dogs pass by on the sidewalk 10 feet away. Have a great weekend!
  2. Stunning. We need a "WOW" emoticon. NOPE
  3. Went to sleep. Slept about 5 hours. Drank a litre of water with electrolytes. Taking another dose of the prescription med and back to sleep, if I can. Realized I felt warm. Temp is almost 2 degrees above my normal (I run cool, about 97.5). Checked my email, and there is a notice that someone at work just reported they have Covid. Perhaps part of this is not feeling well due to a virus, whether Covid or not. Thanks one and all. I live quietly, with only my son and daughter for society. I am grateful for The 'Train to turn to about smoking challenges. It means a lot. Have a good week, one and all.
  4. Thanks, @RhinoDragon. I'm 3+ years into a quit and this is by far the worst temptation point. It isn't the smoking cravings, it's the craving for sleep. And relief of bipolar depression. I have a text to my psychiatrist in place, to which she will respond tomorrow, likely. Some well-intending podcaster suggested that nicotine helps with this. Going to drug myself to sleep to get past this. Thanks for your kind reply. I appreciate it.
  5. Thanks, Doreen. You were a part of QSMB, were you not? That's were I started. Most of the key folks are here, now. I took the sleep meds right after @Jillar replied, about the time my daughter and I rung off. Seriously, getting enough sleep is that important. Don't know if I had enough respect for it before. Why in the world would the person interviewed say that cigarettes helped with sleep? Or maybe he said bipolar depression. I'm half zonked at this point. ready to go to sleep. I'm going to re-listen to the podcast. If the person who mentioned cigarettes and a positive benefit from smoking said what I think he said, I'll post a comment about the unintended consequences his remark could have on someone like me, who has quit a terrible addiction and may be susceptible to a stupid - albeit scientifically accurate - suggestion. Because his remarks reawakened a desire to smoke. I'm that desperate for sleep. I spaced out and fell at work 2 days ago. Yesterday, I had difficulty staying in my lane while driving. This morning, I couldn't even go to work. I'd do anything to get sleep, even smoke.
  6. Thanks, Jillar. I just got off the phone with my wonderful daughter. You're right about the tools to quit when it finally worked. I quit because of Covid. I was pretty sure that if I were a smoker and got Covid, it'd die of lung congestion. That was during the pre-USA presence of Covid, but I was sure it was coming to our shores. My daughter pointed out that when I don't get enough sleep, I get weak-willed and feel hopeless. She's right. I'm so sleep deprived. It's a consequence of bipolar gene mutations related to the circadian rhythm. The Sleep Clinic was next to useless. All the advice I already had online from sleep researchers. I do them all. I've tried addressing bipolar depression/anxiety/insomnia with a ketogenic diet and strict carb restriction, but it also brings intense carb cravings AND insomnia. Sleep deprivation erodes the will power to resist carbs. And carbs bring back depression. I'm so tired of this. My daughter suggested I just drug myself right now, at 10 in the morning, and get some sleep so that I don't cave to either the craving for cigarettes or alcohol. Good advice. Thanks for responding, Jillar. I really appreciate it. I'm going to take my sleep med and go back to sleep. Have a good week.
  7. Doreen, or my other dear Quitrain, QSMB folks Really depressed. Bipolar II. Had ketamine yesterday. Have put in a call to my psychiatrist, asking to go back on meds. CAlled out sick from work. Tried keto which is supposed to be super helpful for bipolar disorder. Listening to a podcast 22 of David Smith (never heard of him). He has bipolar. He just mentioned that nictotine/smoking is helpful for bipolar overwhelm. Yes, I'm in overwhelm. I'll look more into that. Quite desperate for getting out of this mood. I remember how I resorted to smoking when I was feeling so depressed. Anyone around? Not in my right mind. I know that rationally, but I am weeping and feeling desperate. Thinking that smoking would snap me out of this. Desperate.
  8. I started at the QSMB. (Which acronym I've forgotten what it stands for.) I quit and relapsed so many times on QSMB -- and each time I was honest, 'fessing up -- and one prominent member snark-ily told me that maybe I shouldn't be there. (May her name be obscured in history.) My spirit was crushed. Of course, she was right. I shouldn't be there. My bipolar depression was triggered full-on. I shouldn't be on a site where people are trying to quit and I try, but don't stick with my pledges. I felt that I was a blight and a negative influence on other people trying to quit. I'd never be able to quit forever. I almost deleted my profile and disappeared forever....but I think that it was our dear @Doreensfree who stepped in and said, "no, you should be here." And so I came back and stuck it out. I knew from setting goals in business that I must find a strong enough "WHY?' Just loving my children wasn't enough (how terrible does that feel?!) Then Covid starting trekking across China, and I knew it was coming here. I "knew" that I'd get it and, if I were still smoking, I'd get pneumonia and die. I worked in an infectious disease (ID) clinic and everyone in the ID community knew it was only a matter of time before we had another pandemic of some sort. I was sure that this was "The Big One." That was my "why." I stopped on February 22nd (or maybe the 21st). The following week, the first case in the USA was discovered and diagnosed about 15 miles north of me at a skilled nursing facility. I felt vindicated in my belief that this was "The Big One," and felt confident that I could stay quit. There were a few "Help," moments, when I'd post on the forum, but I stuck with it. What is your WHY? If you are hovering like a ghost, not posting, wondering if you can quit, wondering if you should disappear from the forum if you've relapsed ... stick with it. NEVER stop trying to quit. ALWAYS keep your nonsmoking-future self in mind. FEEL PROUD of quitting, even if you're not there quite yet. I believe in you, even though we've never met. No one has relapsed after a pledge to quit more times than I have. (Probably) Quit today. Maybe today is the last time you'll pick up a cigarette. Evoke the lion spirit in your soul. Team Fearless - Fearless Motivation. I listen to these men (sometimes there are women, but I like the men's voices) for at least an hour a day, during my commutes to and from work. I don't know where I'd be without Doreen's support and the messages from Team Fearless. Today is the Day - Fearless Motivation.mp4
  9. Congratulations! Seven years is amazing. Photo courtesy of Ray Hennessy, Pixabay
  10. Congratulations, @Slow progress. The key word there is "progress!" ( penguin crossing sign for slowly-progressing birds photo courtesy of Casey Horner, Unsplash)
  11. Eleven months, Overcome, that's wonderful!!! Thinking about the Lido Deck??? You're almost there! Congratulations on your eleven month accomplishment!
  12. Congratulation, Sirius, wow, NINE years! Many years of health, happiness, and adventure to you.
  13. Jillar, horaay for you and your accomplishment of 7 years! Wow, you are closing in on the big 10! Congratulations! Thank you for the dedication you show to those of us in the forum. I really appreciate your support. Photo thanks to Ray Hennessy, Unsplash
  14. You are an inspiration to those of who trail behind you. Congratulations on 7 years!!! (Image by Patti Black, Unsplash)
  15. Wow, double digits! Love it. Congratulations! (Photo courtesy of Ray Hennessy, Unsplash)
  16. Congratulations! You are an inspiration, truly. (Photo courtesy of Casey Horner on Unsplash)
  17. You are rocking this! Don't know what it is about reaching day 3, week 3, month 3...who knows what it means, but it has significance and you did it!
  18. Kate18

    6 years

    Congratulations! A wonderful achievement. Looking forward to many more years of your health and happiness.

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.


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