Still winning

I remember her saying the date was picked due to some significance...maybe that was a sad thing and she'll be along tomoz...or maybe she's avoiding my best stalker tactics... Either way I really hope she is ok.

Will keep youin my thoughts for the next two weeks. It's great to have a venting spot. I write all manner of stuff down in my blog and just don't publish (leave in draft) any that I want for my journey alone. It helps to track as well. xx

Massive congrats on your 5 months!! Lovely to have you on the board :) xx

Very nearly 5pm Sarah. Pleased to hear time was utilized as well, post it note house sounds great haha.

Sandwich Red or Purple?

Haha Sue, saw that earlier and wondered how long it would take you to spot it :)

Brilliant work Miss Sue, 11 months is awesome!! xx

Pleased to hear this Sharon. Go gently on yourself for a couple of days and fantastic idea to replenish your spirit by doing something you love :) Happy painting. xx

nope for me.

Hi my lovely, you are thought of and you are loved..... It's not just your sister (it was your sis right?) that joined you up? I honestly care. "we" care. No pressure, just come onboard now and let us do our thing.

Don't you steal my Amy DD, I have vested interest....she's mine and I'm real protective of my peoples... :) I have her covered, wewill support her as a group for sure.... It seems like it's scary Amy, it's ok. I promise you. x

Yeah I'm singing, out of tune too :) AMY!! it's the 29th tomorra,.... I'm not gonna lie buddy number 2...I've been real patient.... It is time though, I will hold your hand, these guys will too.... Are you ready??

How is damien? This is shocking!! Fuckwit parenting at it's height. x

I'm bloody sicknote, an then I can't work the camera and my fella has gone and left me to watch the motorbikes racing...delay in progress!

I think talking about the reasons for relapse is a pretty powerful thing. I did wonder MQ, why after 9 months, but then I read what you said above and I can't imagine. ((MQ)) Chrys, I think for people who like to think/ maybe over think?? We will always wonder why. But that's ok, some people are the thinkers and some are the do'ers. If we stay alert and vigilant and engage methods we trust, we will hold on. It reminds me of something I heard and I can't remember where, but it was this... "there is nothing to fear but fear itself". x

Another quitter today has raised the "drop off rates". Wow they are pretty high!! Now there is a person on the board with my time, but only one. This time is a bit strange to be honest. 4 months was lovely, no craves, all peace. 5 months is reminding me, hey you used to smoke...hey you, you smoked you know....hey hey, can you hear me and so it goes. Now of course it's good, it's me. I have traced back and found the triggers and will work on them and my quit is safe. So where's me mates at?? Well, they keep dropping like flies. Me, I'm still sure no matter what I may think or feel periodically I am absolutely a non smoker! But why, why am I ok and others are not? Was it my weirdo approach? Or guys like Jonny5 who was not everyone's cup of tea but reinforced my quit like a boss. Or my quit buddy who regularly assures me when I go bat shizzle that all is well and I should not be a donut? .... I think it's me! I think "I got it" fairly early days. It does not solve a damn thing, it never did. I remember there being a point, I was brutally upset about something or other and I thought I would smoke for a fleeting second...closely followed by what's the point, it doesn't help! In THAT moment I accepted I was going to have to relearn how to cope and I grieved for what was but now wasn't. When my Mum was rushed to hospital, diagnosed with heart failure, on top of copd and she was discharging herself (as we do) and putting it all on me.... I was terrified, my craves went through the roof, for days.. I literally "chose" to hold on and wait to see what happened. I never said but I paced for nights on end, listening that all was well and breathing was happening. It only took my buddy saying got your back and Aine saying, of course you would consider smoking to bring me back down long enough that I could hold on. It absolutely did not diminish the triggers/craves but I knew that my choices for coping were real limited and I had to find another way. Two days ago was a virgo (my sign), new moon which for me, signifies new beginnings. I asked for strength for a friend here, who is looking for a new career path and strength for me to follow my dreams again and reinforce my lifestyle which is about being healthier and that certainly includes not smoking. This saturday I formalise my reiki training and I can finally insure to practice properly, let loose on the general public and charge, when I'm ready. Something else I posted that really stuck with me is I did not want to touch another person reeking of stale smoke. How could I put my hands up to another person who may be a non smoker and stink? Ultimately I want to teach I think. Teach how to plant by moon signs or how to heal via reiki and angels and how to intuit tarot along with the standard lines. I just want to share what I have learnt. It might sound odd to some but to me it's how I have lived knowingly and unknowingly. I cannot unlearn what I know, I will not unlearn my non smoking traits...for me it's all part of the path. That said, I wish my path would bring some of that beautiful peace back because this bit, well it's a bit tough. I'm up to it of course but it would be nicer to have some easy peasy. But still, if I had that, how would I be any use to the people who suffer with a quit...5 quits inspired by my 1 now. I will prove by sheer strength of will that you can have a tough times in your quit and still succeed :) It might make no sense to anyone else but I will do what I have always done and lead by example.

Well that kinda sums up a ton of fears. Powerful reminder why not. ((Tracey)). x

Aww Lace, I just smiled a very big smile for you and your incredible 6 months!! Massive congrats on half a year and fighting the good fight. Some things are worth a bit of a battle and this quit malarky is in that camp :) Brilliant work. xx

Love this!! Now we are strong women ey :) x

hmmm, interesting convo. I relapsed 14 years ago after 364 days. My quit was partly educated, after 3 months I stopped looking for help and just cracked on. However I did not face triggers in that quit, I ran away from all stress and "protected" the quit. I even moved out of my Mums house at 3 weeks as they all smoked and I couldn't hack it. Then on that day my then fiance called off our wedding, 6 months from our wedding date. I had a big dress in our spare room, it was all planned! I was obviously mortified, whereas now I deeply releived - he didn't age well at all :) Anyway, he hated smoking so I bought a packet of cigs, opened his wardrobe and lit one in an ashtray, wafting the smoke towards his clothes - I had no intention of smoking - however I picked up that cig and smoked it whilst blowing the smoke in the wardrobe...then i picked up to 40 a day up for another 14 years till March just gone. Anyway my point. In my humble opinion. We have to accept that at times of stress our thoughts will turn but there's always a choice. I have no probs with people doing what's right for them by the way, but for me, any form of nrt or whatever would be a backward step. Education for me is about understanding "why" I feel the way I do and working with it/around it to prevent relapse. For my whole smoking life I looked for the feel good/easy way...for me there's no easy way to quit...it's simply trudging through it now. Today I have craves, they are not bad and I understand it's because I feel unwell and previously this would have been time to sit and smoke whereas normally I am quite active so I notice having to sit more. I know this so I accept it is for today and keep moving forward. I kinda think as a smoker I was all about instant gratification with nicotine. I like that as a non smoker I have to work harder to get some feel good endorphins going through exercise and manage the understanding of how my addicted brain will work. I know I will struggle, but I also know I won't smoke so I don't want or need to prepare for that eventuality. Even under massive stresses I have faced the craves head on and accepted they are part of the journey but not the destination if that makes sense. So that's me but if I thought my quit was at risk, truly at risk, I would do anything to hold it. x

-6

Sicknote - day in - still nope.

Welcome wendy. I think the more honest you are, the better support we can offer and vice versa. Quitting with others smokers around is totally do able although hard at times for sure. If it helps I changed my thinking and often watched them smoke. I would wait for the "catch" and the "cough" and remind myself that there was a serious lack of romance going on there...they were simply feeding an addiction... no blissful relaxing and a whole host of bad stuff was happening (smell, cough, finances, etc). Maybe you can use them to reinforce your quit too. xx

I can't put my finger on one thing. A series of events came within the space of a year and money was also at breaking point. Initially prompted by my oldest being terrified of my Mums cough (copd) and that mine sounded bad. Then she refused to kiss me goodbye and someone took the mickey out of her coat smelling (was kept in the kitchen where we smoked). I spent from last July to this March trying on a variety of non quits - social smoker, weekend smoker etc. In a nutshell I didn't believe I could quit. My fella was trying to quit but then would smoke with me. My really poorly and in terrible health through smoking mum, kept telling me, we must quit, we'd congratulate each other on only smoking 5 or whatever non quit we had acheived. I became fearful of my continued inability to quit, my daughter continued to ask hard questions like "will you get sick like Nan when I'm older", the kicker was "will I have to look after you too". Broke my heart and I swore no she wouldn't. As luck would have it I put myself on a healing course as it was recognised by insurance companies and I want to add it to future business plans, a course previously I've done but years ago and it wouldn't be good for insurance. The tutor said something about all healers seem to smoke, it's like a way of refuelling ourself - I thought that was really dumb, then went to smoke. Next day I woke and thought how will I put my stinky smoking hands on people to heal them. Spent 3 weeks fighting the NHS to get a champix prescription. Had to prove by using them that I am allergic to patches and it was all very frustrating but I got there. I decided to throw everything at it :) Champix, dalmation jasper crystal, 21 days of self healing before I quit and a quit in alignment with a full moon lol, day before my quit I joined a forum as I knew I would need support where I was living with a heavy smoker and a still smoking partner who'd long since given up that we could quit...embraced all my weird and wonderful and champix/forum as a crutch. I quit the champix 5 days after I quit, I had every side effect, didn't care, just knew it was now or never. Long winded way of saying it was a series of events. My goals were to protect my children finally, financial and poisoning myself was not aligned with the rest of my lifestyle.... but I always like to say all I can think of, in case something there helps someone reading. x