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Its Just Not All You

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I saw this today and it just reminded me a) about my dad and  how as smokers we just thought about ourselves

 

readers who have not quit, you could change the Dad to Mum, Aunt, Uncle, Sister, Brother, Lover?

 

I lie in here, beside the whitewashed wall, 
My hair is gone, my head is bald, 
The room is sterile and it's very cold, 
Wish you were here, Dad, I need someone to hold. 

I can't breathe, I'm on a machine, 
It goes whirr and click, it's such a din, 
I've got lung cancer, it's all black inside, 
When Mom says smoking causes cancer, Dad, I think she lied. 

I never lit up, even when you did, 
I just sat next to you, a small little kid, 
You huffed and puffed through your life, Dad, 

And Mom always looked so very sad. 

My friends asked me to smoke, but I never did, 
Because Mom told me from young: smoking is stupid, 
It soots up your lungs and blackens your teeth, 
So when I see a smoker, Dad, I anger and seethe. 

You smoked two packs a day but you're still strong, 
I hate smokers, Dad, but I never thought you wrong, 
I love you, Dad, I always sat next to you, 
And I know that you always loved me too. 

The room here is cold, I see you through the glass, 
And I think back to long ago, Dad, of times past, 
Of the memories, I recall as much as I can, 
There's always been a cigarette, Dad, stuck inside your hand. 

I remember the fun things, Dad, all the times we had, 
But as I look at you from here, you look so very sad, 
You're not smoking, Dad, no cigarette I can see on you, 
Maybe it's just the hospital, and this is the ICU. 

My breathing becomes labored, I don't think I'll live, 
Well, I tried my best, I gave all I had to give, 
But one thing, Dad, I cannot comprehend, 
I'm not a smoker, so why is my life about to end? 

Author Unknown

Tears here as well.

 

Damn,  

 

I don't have any words.

Wow, Tracey.

Ever since my first Puff,  

I was in complete Denial about Everything,

as All Good Junkies are.

Second Hand Smoke ?  Get outta here !  Pfttt.

Now, Reality check.  Truth and more Truth.

I am horrified at my old self,  WTF,  who was that Junkie Broad ?

Grateful for another chance, Now.  Here.   Now.

 

Sorry - I don't do guilt.

 

Maybe the fine the city threatened you with for letting your grass get to high made you fire up the lawnmower and suck in the particle that killed you? Maybe it was your jet ski? A stray nuke particle from fukushima? Super hold number 67 hair spray? Face it, we wouldn't want to live a lifestyle that wasn't dependent on toxifying our environment. How would we get to WalMart?

A powerful poem indeed posted by a strong woman who loved her dad! 

In tears here :(     

It hurts to realize that I was once a selfish smoker  :(

Well that kinda sums up a ton of fears.

 

Powerful reminder why not.

 

((Tracey)). x

  • Author

sorry for the tears ladies i shed some too

 

CS - I can understand you not feeling guilty I have witnessed  it in both my parents and of cause other factors contribute to diseases to deny that fact would be ignorant

 

I guess I am coming from a different angle in which I lost my dad at aged 49 to lung cancer and had to deal with the fallout and I hold some anger at him as I wonder given his time over knowing what was going to happen not just to him but all of us

 

would he have even tried to quit?

 

if guilt makes someone at least try then good but its not a command its only a thought process

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