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It's been a little over a week since I quit and man, has it been a roller coaster! The quit started out pretty strong. With the help of the patch I felt like I could get through it easily and the bumps I was coming across weren't that big. "I can quit not problem!" In fact, I worried it was too easy and that later on down the road when I was tempted to smoke I'd be able to justify smoking again because, "Hey, it was so easy to quit last time!" I need not have worried. About four days ago I realized I had forgotten to refresh my patch the day before. I figured I'd just go through the withdrawal now instead of putting it off for a month. I mean, I'd already gotten 24 hours under my belt. Oh my god. I fell apart. I was crying a lot and the cravings felt so strong! I ended up posting an SOS to help me through it and man o man did y'all come through! I had responses immediately plus a few people went to the chat room in case I needed to talk. I ended up getting through it, obviously, but I don't know how gracefully. Thank you so much to those who were there! I'm also having a hard time sleeping although last night was a bit better. I was just lying there waiting for the restless legs to start or the having to turn over every two minutes but neither came and eventually I was able to go to sleep. I'm exhausted right now but am doing everything I can to not go take a nap! I'm hoping that I'm on the upswing of the sleeping thing since I know how important it is to your overall health. All in all this past week hasn't been too, too bad. Not nearly as bad as I has anticipated. And with the help from all of you, quitting has been even less horrible! I can't believe how much I've come to depend on this site and it's only been a little over a week! I guess being addicted to the boards here is better than giving in to the addiction of cigarettes!

It was simply time. I had run out of excuses as to why I couldn't. Tried being every type of smoker and relapsed at a rate that would scare you silly. Every single person in my life wanted me to quit. Some to help them quit too, most because they worried for me. I would smoke 30-40 per day, indoors or out socialising. Every day! My quit is a bit of a non entity to me now. I almost think that can be a bit sad, so I make sure I celebrate myself so I never forget what was for me, a battle that I continue to win. New hairdo for me later today :) I never forget - My chest hurt, I was often ill with the kids, bugs from school and such. My cough was terrifying, but not to me then. I couldn't really laugh too much, it made me cough. I simply can't believe that I accepted all of that and didn't fight sooner? I still worry about my previous world record of quitting smoking at 364 days when I relapsed through emotional drama. Jeez, what a numpty! Now, I miss having a crutch. Yes it was smoking, but by my choice, not any more. I work out a lot and I am still learning new things daily and planning more training. I would have laughed at you even 6 months ago if you told me the way I would manage my stress and mood levels would be yoga or pilates...yet I do them most days now and do genuinely benefit!! I can see me having an alternatively type of career that I would not have had the confidence for, but I am perhaps not as close as I hoped I was ...but that's ok, I trust I can get there, when it's the right time :) So 9 months for me is more an ongoing journey of self discovery but it isn't the crave/trigger infested times of days gone by and I am forever greatful that ended and I was able to trust other folks here that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I won't lie, thoughts do pop in my head, sometimes they feel like they "take hold" a little and I need support to get them gone - but I have that support, so I'm pretty lucky. Health wise, I feel good overall. I am in good health and recover from every illness quicker, but that took me 4/5 months to get too - so I am noticing it now. I am much stronger, faster and far more emotionally resiliant too. I grew in ways I never could have anticipated. Now I am just going to continue with my vigilance and try and simplify more of my life. I really want a peaceful life, as much as I can and thanks to my quit I feel justified to pursue things that make me feel good.

:) I am just going to continue with my vigilance and try and simplify more of my life.