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N.O.P.E.

Do you think because of personal issues (mental, emotional, physical, financial, situational) that it is impossible for you to quit or stay quit? Do you think nobody really understands just how hard it is for you? Have you "tried" and "tried" and "tried" and just can't get quit or stay quit? Do you tell yourself that there is something just "wrong" with you that doesn't allow you to be successful like others? These thoughts need to be addressed (lies debunked) if you answered yes to any of these questions so you can quit telling yourself such nonsense. Until you change your self-talk, drop the helplessness, and start to believe in yourself (and do the honest work required) you'll continue to run around the relapse Merry-Go-Round "trying" to get a hand hold so you can jump on to smobriety. Educate yourself about nicotine addiction (it helps to understand why you feel the way you do physically, emotionally & mentally when you quit) and put together your Quit Kit to help you get through the quitting process. The hardest part is always in the beginning. As far as "trying" goes -- remember TRIUMPH is the word "tri" with just a little more "umph". Lean on the community. Pledge daily and mean it. You need to absolutely believe that no matter how bad you may feel at any given time in the first hour, the first day, the first week, the first month, or the first year, that it will change eventually for you, bit by bit, for the better as you go through the process if you just don't smoke. Not One Puff Ever. It's doable. You CAN do it. A whole brand new shining smoke free world awaits you once you stop running around "trying" to catch the Merry-Go-Round. Jump on instead. No more Day One's for you. Every day can be a Day Won!

I wasn't going to reply to your post because your self-talk clearly tells me you don't really want to Stay Quit. Not really. You made a "sudden conscious decision to smoke". You had time to change your thought(s) but quickly & willingly chose to smoke/vape again because you wanted to rather than to Stay Quit. You "discovered a half full bottle" and was pleased. "It's so sweet". Again, you didn't want to Stay Quit. When you want to smoke/vape you tell yourself it's okay because you can always quit again after using up your supplies rather than throwing them away or whatever excuse you tell yourself. (Is using them up more important to you than your quit? Obviously.) Your self-talk sucks as you already know and you are willing to quickly shuck your smoke free time over & over again. You need to change. Not smoking after you quit is a commitment, a free choice, a promise to yourself. (Do you keep your promises?) To quit (over & over again) is easy; to Stay Quit no matter how much you want to smoke, no matter what you tell yourself, no matter how you feel is what you need to work on. You listen to your demon self-talk too easily. You need to get off the Merry-Go-Round ... that is if you really want to Stay Quit. (I will post an oldie blog of mine from another community I titled "Merry-Go-Round" in the Discussion Section. It's doable and I still believe in you. You have to do more than "just" want it though. You have to choose it and take smoking as an option off the table from Day One to make each day a Day Won.)

NOPE!

NOPE for today!

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G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever. blue and yellow of a sunrise

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NOPE

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Yup I gave up a 6 year quit, and like I said, if I found this place back then, I would not have gone back to smoking. Glad you got the sticks because they really do help. I used them for about 2 months or so. The longer you stay quit, the withdrawal will get less and less. You just need to stick with it!!

@Reciprocity you're right on target about my romancing nicotine. I shamefully love the addiction. It's time to shift my devotion to my health and overall quality of life and buckle down with resolve. Starting tonight, by my estimate. @ I've read Easy Way and watched videos about this addiction. I held a Quit for over 10 years. At a point in my life I would have bet money on never being addicted to nicotine again. I understand it's self-destructive folly. That's why I'm here. you're right tho, I need to steel my resolve. I'll dump all my paraphernalia this time. @QuittingGirl yes, as you likely just read, I'll dump it all. 6 years, huh? You definitely get me. I picked up a pack of cinnamon sticks today. Thanky you all so much for the support, including you @SD2026. I appreciate the wisdom and encouragement from each of you.

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Nope

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NOPE!

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NOPE

Ransuil

I am not going to smoke today. NOPE.

Erosion