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March 16, 2017

The brain fog is my biggest hurdle right now.....and sleeping. I am anticipating a challenging weekend....but that is hours and days away so I will not focus on it.   Last night I had to go to bed, I need to work on some course work but my Brain would not let me. So I got up early this am. Sleep last night was ok. I managed to doze off faster last night then the night before. But I did wake up at least 3 times during the course of my sleep. That is very unusually for me, and of course my first thought when I woke up was time to get a smoke.   When it was finally time for me to get up I was ready, grad a glass of mineral water and sat down to start working on the course work. But my Brain just would not engage. I hope I can pull out of this soon. I do not have time for my Brain to hijack my actions. So I went back to sleep in the chair. ): Sigh......I will pay for this later on today when I am trying to get things finished up for class, that starts at 4:00.   Trip to work was good, took the back roads again, made a cup of coffee to drink on the way. Wanted to make a B line for the store, but I know that if I did I would not make it to work in time to get setup for my first class.   ONWARD to another smoke free day!!!!   48 hours smoke free.....

Cecilia

Cecilia

 

Thought for the moment

I just discovered days have gone by and haven't had any thoughts or desires to smoke. What a great feeling. I guess that's how it works. Days start to go bye and you don't even realize the routine has been successfully changed slowly and steadily. And the thoughts no longer posses all your thinking and time.   My friend at work comes past I think pew she stinks and I realize I smelled the same before. I listen to her try and catch her breath and feel sorry for her. It makes me think wow if I was huffing and puffing just walking around that would be a sure sign I need to quit. To each is own we all need to find our own way.

Dee

Dee

 

Healthy Me

Brain Fog -- I suffer from Brain Fog every day around 11:15 and then again right after work. Also Brain Fog gets worse as the week goes on.   Did a bit of reading and Brain Fog is a by product of Smoking Cessations...and honestly I never connected my mid day brain fog or after work brain fog to the lack on nicotine in my body through out the day, as I did not smoke during the day. So that might be a possibility. That would be great to have a clearer mind....not sure my mind was clear pre smoking as I can not remember not smoking.   So what I can do in the sort term is cut back on my Pepsi.....which I planned to do anyway. Actually will cut them out but one thing at a time. So tomorrow I will not drink a Pepsi until the end of the work day. Maybe buy one on the way home from work to replace smoking.   Of course list help...

Cecilia

Cecilia

 

March 15, 2017

Ok a bit frustrated this am. Last night I created a blog post and this am it is not there. What happened.....I guess I did not hit publish now. That is the second post on a forum that I did not post yesterday. Not sure what is up with that. A bit upset that I lost my post.   Quick update for yesterday January 14, 2017   Yesterday went well for me. Around 2:00 yesterday afternoon my mind drifted to the "smoke" that I would be smoking after school I was a bit surprised by first the fact that I thought about one at 2:00. I do no smoke at all during the day because I am at work. I never noticed that I thought about during the course of the day other then my planning period at 11:10 when I did not have any students. My the thought was clean an plan and right in the middle of helping a student with an assignment. The other thing that surprised me was the disappointment that I felt when I reminded myself that I no longer smoke. It felt like Christmas morning and the disappoint a child would feel when they looked under the tree and the one present they wanted was not there. This happened twice between 2:00 and 3:05.   After work luckily the crave was not so bad as I had to go and take DS to get his Drivers Licenses. He is at the same school as I and so we left together. I do not some around my children so there was not an opportunity to smoke. Sure I thought about it but knew it was not an option at the time. BTW DS is now a Licensed Driver. Ugh the insurance with two teenage drivers!!!!   Once I got home it still was not an option as I did not have any cigarettes and from home I would have had to drive 20 mins to the closet store to buy a pack. So I just got on doing Birthday Stuff.   Once birthday stuff was done it was off to bed. I get up at 4:00 and try to get in bed by 9:00. I did find it very difficult to sleep, my mind did think of a "smoke" several times while trying to get to sleep, but I know it was not an options, so not really a crave just a thought. It was after 10:30 before I did fall to sleep. That is a late night for me.   I am like a Camel I can go a long time with out smoking and not crave, as I am a closet smoker and there are time that I go without. So I need to prepare myself for several days down the road for my worst craves to hit and that urge to make a B-Line for the store starts hitting me heard.   Two times of the day that will be the hardest for me is first thing in the am. I was concerned that I would not get up this am because I knew that I could not smoke. I usually smoke about 6 before leaving for work or anyone gets up in the house. Funny to say this but I use it as a reward. Complete XYZ then go and grab a smoke. So I have to pick something else to do once I finish a XYZ.   This am I had already to planned to pour myself a glass of sparkling mineral water straight out of bed. I love sparkling mineral water and it is something that I do not buy often. I bought a bottle when I went to the grocery store on Sunday specifically to open after my quit. So when the alarm went off this am and I thought of a smoke I was able to instantly turn my mind to the mineral water. Which helped.....drink now as I post.   Driving to work today may be my first hard crave.....and I will might have to fight the urge to make a B Line for the store. I love a cup of coffee in the am so I will wait and make my coffee for the drive to work.   This am will also be hard because I can not plan smoke time around completing am task. Last night while in bed I tried to think of something quick I could do after each task completion to help with "time for a smoke break" thought entered my mind. So I have decided that when I think of a "smoke break" I will do Kegel Exercises. This old bladder of mine is very weak so it will be interesting to see if the Kegel Exercises will make a difference. Sorry if that is to much TMI.   This am when I got up I had a huge sneezing fit....very unusually. I sneezed so hard that I my ear popped and it hurt for about 5 mins. Anyway just strange.   Now it is time to get this day rolling. Have a great day all who read!!!!   NOPE -- 24 hours smoke free in just over 2 hours.

Cecilia

Cecilia

 

Freedom Bound

So today is my quit date!!!! I have been looking forward to this day, but have not obsessed about, as I have in the past.   The morning time will the hardest time for me, so my plan for today was to smoke as normally this am and then toss whatever I had left on the way to work today. So at 7:10 I extinguished my last one and toss what was left in the pack.   The day started out really bumpy, my major hurdle will be my DH and his BEAR attitude. Boy was he a bear when he got up this am, and I am sure it will not be any better when I got home tonight. But this is my quit, I am doing it for me, I need to be true to myself. Be like a duck and let it roll off my back. The only way to the other side is to go through it.   Have a wonderful day, all who read.

Cecilia

Cecilia

 

Gearing up for my quit date!

I am here and ready to take this life changing step.   I have read through the 10 steps to using Quit Train and have done all that i can do for now on the 10 steps.   Will be back tomorrow to do some blogging. I will be blogging a lot, to work through emotions and stressful situations.

Cecilia

Cecilia

 

Good things

Oh my I am so exciting this week I feel like this is one of my best weeks ever. Got a call from my Church, just when I had given up to begin training for becoming a Eucharistic Minister. Sent my letter to Father Bob for Parish approval. This seems meant to be since I finally stopped smoking. It's like God was waiting now I will not need to worry do I smell did I wash me hands.   Then my two classes started this week. Art was the something new for this year. I was a little worried after New Year I didn't have something new to add in my life but it all fell into place. I am absolutely jacked after the first night of my art class. what an amazing and talented teacher feeling like I will be able to take my art to the next level. Came home so hyped it was all I could do to settle in for the night. Feeling blessed and peaceful this week.   Now Ms. focus and get back to work lunch break is over and there is still allot to do. :-)

Dee

Dee

 

Lent begins

Approaching the season of Lent again at least this year I won't need to add giving up cigarettes to the list. How ironic I considered this a sacrifice when I was smoking just goes to show how brain washed you become as a smoker. I will however be giving up sweets and dessert and that should help with the couple extra pounds I gained since quitting. I look forward to this time of year not just for the giving up of things but for adding things that are meaningful during Lent. I think sometimes that is more purposeful then giving something up. Working on some ways to give back to society this year but I have 24 hours left to think on it. I know I owe a platelet donation so maybe that will be a good start for the season not a favorite act but definitely necessary! Will pray on this.

Dee

Dee

 

Saturday blues

Was not quite sure how to make a blog but I think this might work. So Saturday I found myself fondly missing smoking. It was a strange trigger as most people wouldn't agree but the cigarettes I miss the most are the ones after a heavy workout and yes I smoked after heavy exercise, also after serious hiking trips or kayaking adventures. When I was totally exhausted and exhilarated I enjoyed those the most. Saturday the weather was absolutely beautiful hit the gym for an intense full body work out then went home cleaned the entire house two floors, did a few loads of wash then stopped and felt lost. Normally at this point it would be time to go and sit out side in the sunshine and relax for a bit and yes normally a cigarette would be involved. I went through the whole mental processes of reminding myself you are a non-smoker and yes I am happy I am a non-smoker. Somehow the afternoon felt anticlimactic without the aaaaahhh moment. I tried drinking water, sucking on a mint, taking deep breaths finally I just went and took a shower but it really felt that the day was incomplete. Thankfully Sunday rolled around and off to church which always makes the weekend complete and exercise in the fresh air. I definitely feel that Saturdays are the hardest the good thing is I can exhaust myself to the point the day is over. Now it is Monday and my mind is clear again and so is my resolve. :-)

Dee

Dee

 

Early Blessings

After just a week! The early (and many) blessings: Achieving that truly full breath at last (phew, my lungs still work)
Appetite is back and food tastes good
I feel more confident
Not afraid of tomorrow's 1.5 hour drive and winter hike with 3 never-smokers
Don't have to worry how badly I smell during my therapy group
Money not spent on butts
I feel more relaxed and calm in the morning (no rush out of bed for nicotine fix)
Not worried I'll smell during Monday's job interview
Back on the QT ;)

Ramona

Ramona

 

Curious & Rebellious? Still Time to Quit

Cigarettes are a big "f*ck you" to the world. To smoke is to wordlessly show others that you wish to take a dump upon your own existence. Like, "I didn't ask for this lifetime of slavery to both time & money so you can take this life and shove it up your ass" sort of thing.   However,   To... take deep breaths love food grow more intimate be vulnerable acknowledge grief   Is to... Embrace life.   And for those of us out there/here that don't find the human experience as fantastic as others find it, it can be a rough transition.   Death? I look forward to existing as pure energy and spirit. In the meantime I don't want to feel sick in my physical body. I'm stuck in this thing any way so I should probably make it less painful (and smelly).   In a few hours I will have achieved 5 full days without smokes or nicotine. Aside from a couple anxiety attacks, it has been smooth sailing. As is often said, not smoking is the natural way, after all.

Ramona

Ramona

 

"Caring For Our Recovery" by John R. Polito

There are three primary factors associated with relapse: (1) rewriting the law of addiction; (2) an excuse; and (3) a vague memory. It doesn't matter if it happens within two hours, two days, two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty, the factors remain the same and apply to all of us. https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7669-caring-for-our-quit-by-john-r-polito/?p=191537

MarylandQuitter

MarylandQuitter

 

Sazerac's Third Annual Soiree

Three years ago, I quit smoking on a whim which quickly grew into a personal challenge to myself. A trip out West, where cigarette smoking made you an instant pariah, an aeroplane coughing fit and a horrible cold precipitated this life changing decision. I quit Cold Turkey not wanting to mess about with quacks or, spend dosh on NRT's.   My ignorance about nicotine addiction was absolute, in fact, I likely didn't 'believe' in addiction or some such denial tactic. Although, while in California, I joked, 'I'm going outside to shoot up' when taking smoke breaks and the ever handy/ever ready e-cig led me to vaguely acknowledge a problem with nicotine.   Possibly, the intermittent change of delivery systems pushed me to think a little. It certainly jacked up my nicotine levels. But, denial was my running partner and cigarettes were crucial to my personal identity or, so I thought. I smoked. Everywhere. All the time. For upwards of 45 years...a staggering amount of time.   24 hours into my 'whim', my search for information began online. I had no idea what to expect and soon learned horrifying truths. Watching terrifying movies about big tobacco stirred up my anger. I saw heartbreaking films about tobacco's slow and lurid torment and was encouraged by writings and videos from Alan Carr and Joel Spitzer. Reading personal testimonial threads of success or challenge strengthened my resolve and I studied addiction till my eyes bled.   Denial no longer comforted me as the truth seeped in. I was a nicotine addict. Daily, I would count my cigarette money, mark time in a minutely obsessive way and write short updates of my mood on a calendar. Insane, Terrible, Crazy Bad, Awfully Horrible, Crap, Miserable persisted the first week. I slept as much as possible. Often, a swirl of mental anguish enveloped me but, it passed. I ate Satsumas.   Facing the truth of my Addiction, the quit gathered momentum. I remembered how to breathe ! Oxygen was now my drug of choice. It was startlingly refreshing. It sharpened my mind. It calmed me down. During craves or taking breaks I breathed handfuls of conscious breaths.   Admittedly, there were gruesome moments. 'FREE YOUR HEAD', I would growl, spitting Fire and sucking air through a cinnamon stick. There were primal screaming showers, squeezing the last drops of hot water from the tap. It was a fight for Freedom and I wasn't turning back.   Then, miraculously it seemed, days on the calendar were left blank. I was just getting on with my new life. Embrace The Suck, I learned from our friend, Sarge.   Day 10, 'Slightly Not Terrible' Day 14, 'Rough but Bearable, Satsumas ! ' Day 20, 'Better' There were some dips. Day 25, 'Ugly not Terrible' Then there was just the count of days and accumulated dosh. Day 40, 'Strong urges, got busy moving furniture around' Day 50, 'Hard' Day 70, 'Better and Better' was the last entry.   In retrospect, 70 days was an incredibly short time to Free My Head from an addiction that lasted 40 some odd YEARS. That is incredible value for time/discomfort vs. a whole new life of Freedom. I also had about $600 cash for my 'trouble'. My habitual cough disappeared.   As the months crept by, craves disappeared or became trivial aggravations, triggers became unimportant. No, that is wrong. Triggers and craves were very important because they reminded me that I was hungry or thirsty, emotional or, tired or...something.   This wasn't about nicotine anymore. This was my body trying to contact me, an important communication that had always been pacified by sticking a cigarette in my mouth. H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonesome, Tired) became a guide to listening to what my body/spirit required. This concept was life changing.   More quantum changes followed ~A growing inner confidence based on Truth instead of bravado. ~Denial has languished as a coping strategy and is transforming into a signal to investigate. ~Freedom from addiction became a reality to be nurtured and protected. ~Taking breaks with a few conscious breaths to center myself has become a habit and helps maintain focus on the task at hand. ~My Compassion grows with this experience. I am a kinder human (well, mostly).   After 10 (?) months continuing to lurk and learn, I decided to join The Quit Train and thank these fine people. From my very first post, I felt welcomed and encouraged in my quit. Today, on my Three Year Anniversary, I send a welcome to lurkers out there.   Thinking about quitting smoking ? Made the decision to quit ? Starting your journey free from nicotine ? Lurk to your hearts content and learn all you can about your addiction. It is a colossal step to admit you have an addiction and are ready to stop believing your own lies, the lies of an addict. Take it ! This is a fortuitous opportunity to get right with yourself and a chance to save your own life.   Perhaps, you will be enticed to sign up and join this ragtag assortment of Nicotine Free people. People who understand the struggle with nefarious nicotine and are interested in helping others succeed in conquering this addiction. Becoming a member will help keep you accountable and also be of service to others, simply by your shared experience.   To Everyone here on QTrain, successful quitters with years under their belts and sparkling, shiny, brand new quitters, all of you continue to help solidify my freedom from the slavery of nicotine. There are not many gifts greater than this and I am ever grateful. Thank you so much. S

Sazerac

Sazerac

 

Love my new Life

Had a great day, got so much done in the garden, a lot more than I used to and feel great.   Never realized how out of breath I used to get, it just became the normal for me I think.   Loving all the energy, feeling and overall happiness that I am feeling now that I have quit.   Planning new projects to do now that we can afford them as I am no longer just burning our cash.   Feeling great looking forward to the rest of my new smoke free life.

doingitthistime

doingitthistime

 

YOU are in control; chose either NOPE without the lies or lie and die...

'No More' truth or dare: final quitdate 15 September 2016   We wrote this on a blog about quit smoking, the members know we have DID.   No more cigarettes. No more deceiving, no more lies. Oh boy have I fall for lies and deceivement, oh boy. Who lied most. The people who should have been my safe haven, they lied, hurt, abused, drank and lied again... they lied to blame ME, for what THEY did. I was the failure. I didn't do good enough. I was a bad girl (...) I no longer believe lies. I chose not to. Lies. They capture you and you're too strangled to realize you're stuck. If you are a survivor of abuse or incest, domestic violence... you've been wrapped in lies. It's all your fault, you made them do it?! WRONG! I was innocent, I look back and cry and know I am stronger then I've ever been before. I no longer follow lies, that are like a route on the floor: it's up to you, stay a victim, or become a survivor and take back your life and say. 'No more'. I was never bad. I NEVER asked for it! I wasn't a failure. I wasn't bullied because I was weak. it. I was struggling to stay alive, my whole life and look what happened to the oyster in that locked shell. It opened, and a beautiful pearl rolled out, all shinny knowing there's a world where other oysters are locked and pearls are being formed, they just need to do one thing. Stop believing the lies. Start believing in themselves. <3 I did. I thrive, I no longer survive. I no longer repeat lies. I decided to be kind to myself. Look in the mirror, and who looked back, broke my heart. It was a little girl all torn apart who fell into pieces long ago. But guess what? The pieces still fit. Nothing got lost. No arm, no leg, no nose or limb is lost; because the pieces were her heart. And when I looked in that mirror that girl watched me look back and she saw a beautiful woman, who picked up the pieces, gathered them, nurtered them and hugged them; not one single precious piece was lost of that broken heart and the only way to heal... was to love and hug and put every piece together in the original place and LOVE it for it was meant to be. An innocent child. Again I looked the woman who looked back, was of worth and imaginable strength and courage love, for herself: if you don't love yourself and your broken pieces... how can you ever love someone else? The cracks in the mirror had disappeared. The heart of pieces in my hands was healing and is healing. It's soul was never broken, just the appearance, the look of the Heart. I was talking about myself, but there's many other broken hearts- who will turn into broken souls if they don't pick up their own broken pieces and start loving them. The lies... they come, but I never, ever; no longer obey... to those lies. And when I caught myself trapped I unwrap myself, or the piece of my heart that's trapped. And that's what you should do. Unwrap yourself of all the lies in your life and dip yourself in unconditional love for yourself. Because others refused to, or didn't.... makes it even more important to Love your Heart.... and the broken pieces of it that need healing. Time is on your side, when you start today.   Now about quit smoking. I tried, I lied... I faked, I died inside... I was never quit. Until now. I still believed the lies, from the broken past, but also from the cigarette factories, that mythical One cigarette...I smoked, for weeks. Cursing my coughing lungs 'cancerlungs' for not able to inhale, the smoke, the cigarette I 'thought' I wanted. I never wanted it, I thought I needed it. Another lie unarmed. You don't need cigarettes. The truth is cigarettes kill, factories pay billions to sell and make money they killed for it. The government doesn't wanna ban cigarettes because it brings them money: Will they kill you? Will you let smokes kill you, will you keep believing in the lie? Another fact; the Nicotine Replacements are LIES! They keep you in withdrawls... I know I don't. No more lies. No More. Lies are Death insself in my eyes. The choice is up to you. Now may I say: truth or dare? Dare you unraffle lies, from your own thoughts, your own addiction, your own demons?   Truth or dare. I chose truth and it started on 15 September 2016 Dare you love yourself, dare you look in the mirror and pick up the broken pieces, dare you be someone who seeks the truth. The real truth. Because lies are sealed in beautiful wrappings. Don't buy them. Dare to say no to lies, dare to choose your freedom, on so many levels, and be the person you were meant to be.   Rawr. We are back. To ALL lies, reply NOPE. Don't inhale lies, don't let them get in your head.No more.... NOT ONE PUFF EVER!   #NoMore #truthordare #LoveWhoYouAre #LiesKill #Quittrain   E.

Evelyn

Evelyn

 

The continuation of the journey

It's all about choice. We can create the drama, or not. Create the fear, or not. It really is very simple. As simple as stepping into the life we want and not being chained to the past. The rains may fall and the droughts may happen but we simply move forward step by step when it feels too hard to run. Accept support when it is offered, accept gratitude for what you have and what you have accomplished without ego. Some will travel with you on different parts of the journey but don't be afraid to walk alone when it is needed. You are never truly alone anyway, you are a part of the universe, a child of the stars and all the vastness that becomes of this space. It's time dear heart. Own the journey. x

Marti

Marti

 

Starting my life again

Well managed to get to day 2, feeling good and proud. Went to my local shops today and when I went to the checkout was asked if I wanted 10 of my usual (never realized how well the staff knew my routine), I told them no thank you I don't smoke anymore. I think that I left the shop with a massive grin on my face as I felt so good and proud of myself.   Just finished my tea and normally I would have a smoke then do the dishes, tonight I did the dishes and made a cup of coffee and logged on to do this blog, going to make this my routine for this smoke as it is one of the ones that I know has been hard on my past quits.   I know that it is early days but I am looking forward to the next smoke free day this time around, not dreading it like I was on my last quit. For myself I think that getting prepared and having plans in place for the rough times will make this quit happen.

doingitthistime

doingitthistime

 

NEW VIDEO: When Did I Actually Quit Smoking?

Many long-term former smokers have a difficult time remembering the date or even the year when they actually stopped. This video explains an important underlying message of their inability to recall what many people would think is an unforgettable date. http://www.quittrain.com/topic/2096-video-introduction-to-joel-misc-educational-videos-by-joel/?p=187101

MarylandQuitter

MarylandQuitter

About us

QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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