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24 march

just staying connected. I have been grumpy and whiny....in my own head and to myself.    Yesterday was great.  Did some exercise. NOPEd when I craved.  Spoke with many people I care about. Today I am on an eating binge.  second breakfast anyone?  with a side of snacks.  Already prepping and planning dinner.  Didn't sleep well last night.  Up planning my outing outfit.  Not planning on going off property for the foreseeable future, but still getting some pleasure and laughs from pl

darcy

darcy

22 March

Faking my way through the NOPE pledge this morning. Not even 5:30 a.m. and I am just winding down from tilt mode.....CRAVING firmly attached to tilt mode.   staring at screen feeling heart race and listening to head race        looking for good excuse,   ha ha ha   ANY excuse is the good one when you choose to pick up. NOPE  NOPE   NOPE   going to eat..  then  ...          Most of the day later.... Glad things calmed down in my head.  Glad I hav

darcy

darcy

21 March - over a week of Freedom

Grateful for the choice to quit smoking and the ease (99% of the time) of the transition.  In the past (many attempts over many years) this has not been my experience. Only one wildly out of control craving and I am still here....free. I am having trouble sleeping and the last few days more cravings than I have had. Circumstances of the world likely influencing my sleep. Hadn't been off property in over a week until today.  Went out to just ride around and see what the pulse

darcy

darcy

19 march

Attempting something new...starting a journal type blog...or something ...lol   Hello Everyone, Made it through yesterday with my seat on the train intact.  Wasn't sure that was going to be the case for awhile. Was in an emotional upheaval and down on myself for not showing up for people how I would hope to if being a kind thoughtful person.  I have a tendency toward self recrimination that is probably diagnosable somehow.  I lean toward hurting myself harder, if I perceive (

darcy

darcy

It's a Holiday Miracle!

I think I've hit a breakthrough in my quit.   I was thinking the other day about New Year's Eve and planning my adventures for the evening. (They involve pizza, pajamas, and The Twilight Zone marathon on Syfy.) I was remembering last New Year's Eve and recalling how I spent most of the day smoking as many cigarettes as I could in preparation for my quit the next day. I thought about how I spent the last moments of 2018 smoking my last cigarette, which I extinguished at 11:59pm just as

abbynormal

abbynormal

The Policy of Truth

I have so much blog material at the moment. But this is one I find myself going back to today. It is so hard to be honest about addiction, not just to the outside world, but to yourself. Being critical, not scared of the cold hard truth. The courage to look yourself in the eye and explore that impulse emotion when someone calls the addiction by it's name. I posted about my relapse last night. And I found the support overwhelming, and I thank all of you that had my back. I could've said noth

Vivianne

Vivianne

"But I enjoyed smoking!"

"But I enjoyed smoking!"   I hear that again and again from folks struggling to quit. (I've heard my own inner addict's voice whisper it a thousand times.) And so I ask this question:   Was smoking ever REALLY enjoyable?   One of the keys to my success this time around has been to remind myself that smoking was never really something I enjoyed. Not really. Remember that very first cigarette--the burning sensation in your throat, the acrid smell of the smoke, the cou

abbynormal

abbynormal

The history of an addict

When I was in the shower I started thinking about my history with the cigarette. And I thought it might be an interesting story to share as so many others have been through the same thing.    I was introduced to the normality of tobacco when I was 4 years old. Every male member of my family was a smoker. My granddad on my dad's side was the king; He smoked every variation there was: cigarettes, pipe, cigars and even prune (of course that last one he did not light up :P) . My mom's da

Vivianne

Vivianne

Day eh 24!!!

Wow I am almost at the 1 month quit experience! And it is.. eh yeah.. eventful to say the least. My first week was an awesome high, my second week was a mix of coughs, colds, and mixed feelings.. Then the germany trip, week 3, that has set me back.. the ads and the availability got into my head, the romancing started again.. emotions flared up  and I have been trapped inside my head. I couldn't stop crying two days ago.. I almost convinced myself this quiting thing was not something I

Vivianne

Vivianne

Made it five days

Renewed my effort to quit following more thoughtful watching of Allen Carr's video and mindfulness moments while I smoked. It is day five. Days one and two dragged, with many strong cravings. Days three through five passed by without too much trouble from cravings until late afternoon and this evening. I resorted to using a 14 mg patch -- I want to see how much of this is psychological for me and how much is physical craving. I'd say it is psychological, far and above physical.   Today

Kate18

Kate18

When addiction gets up close and personal

I've been sick a few days and today I feel much much better, but also home alone since Friday. And that gives me way too much time to think, ponder, over-analyse and lose myself in addiction thinking. So I hung on like a crazy woman. Reading a lot of this and watching a lot of that to keep my head clear in a very literal way. I also wrote down a lot of lies that my addiction keeps telling me in this quit. Time to address one and deal with it. "What does it matter anyway, you are not worth i

Vivianne

Vivianne

Bad day

I am stuck,  I have so many negatives thoughts and they are stopping me to post an sos, or pm someone - or just get help. So I am forcing myself to type this blog, without leaving this page or deleting the whole thing.  What happened?  Well it started with a dream I had last night. I was at an airport with my ex (the one where I experienced my last relapse with 2 years ago after a nine months quit). And he was yelling at me, screaming, I had to get him cigarettes but due to a new law I ha

Vivianne

Vivianne

Unexpected cravings

A blog post about a craving at this time*? That must be one serious craving.  And it is!   I know that I have gotten a pack in the middle of the night on more than one occasion. Get out of bed, put clothes on, get in the car and drive for 30 minutes to the nearest 24h gas station so I could smoke one and sometimes 2 before falling asleep without the thoughts of being out of cigs in the morning.   Time to take a step back and analyse this craving: What I need right n

Vivianne

Vivianne

Close encounters of the smoking kind

I couldn't postpone it any longer. I had to bring some stuff over to a friend, who smokes. I warned him ahead - do not feed my addiction and please keep the smoking paraphernalia out of sight.  Unfortunately he forgot... so he lit one right up next to me. Asking me if I wanted one. "HELL NO! I quit remember?"  He felt very embarrassed and took everything out of the room immediately while apologizing a lot.  I went on and on about this forum, and about my pledge every day and how solid

Vivianne

Vivianne

Third day - mind over matter

Third day... what to say what to say.  I am okay during the day, I have no cravings until 4 pm, I wasn't a during-the-day smoker.. I hated that first cigarette in the morning. The whole head rush was something I wasn't into.  But when the sun goes down my head goes in to a tale spin and I really have to focus on my quit and determination to be a happier and healthier person and give myself the gift of life.  I avoid my friends at the moment. I know they will give me a cig when I ask for it

Vivianne

Vivianne

Randomness

Approaching 24 hours! Mood: Mostly positive and highly energetic with little swings towards the negative side and the " &#$^$ FYA!" thoughts But I am still standing! *yeah yeah yeah* Anyway, my mind is racing as is my body (I might need to up my adhd meds.. )  I tried naptime, but that didn't agree lol  So here I am just rambling on and on and on..  I have nothing to tell, but time to kill  I am pledging my NOPE again here for today - I have told my dad today abou

Vivianne

Vivianne

Triggers

So in my preparation to make this attempt a permanent and thus successful one I found this site. I like to blog, have been doing that from the moment my parents decided to listen to my pleads to get  (sloowwww) internet. My initial quit date would be the 10th, but well, you know how stuff works... you read, you post and you get highly motivated to quit sooner rather than later.  And why not! There is nothing stopping me..  So I need to redo my preparation time table and get this stuff out

Vivianne

Vivianne

Scary Story/Stories

Courtesy of my grandma, God rest her angelic soul ❤️ - here is the # 1 reason I gave not to quit smoking. I am dead serious.  This story is all her.  /////SCARY STORY #1: Every major holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) my grandparents would host dinner in their home; a huge feast ... I mean HUGE. And every year, and when I say every year, I mean every single year, every single holiday dinner, my grandmother (nani) - a nonsmoker of 30+ years would finish her meal, lean back in her chair,

mrsguest

mrsguest

Day 7! My Thoughts Today

Wow, it is day 7 already - time has went by fast, kinda . . .take a look at this mish mash I made up - in no particular order, just a jumbled mess!  I have some thoughts to share: First - Everyone is so super helpful here and I am more appreciative than I could ever express. I'd like to mail you all $20 bills & (((hugs))), lol - really.  Second - I am sick and tired of suckers. I am open to suggestions that don't involve candy. My mouth is literally sore and there are sores on the roof of m

mrsguest

mrsguest

Working & Quitting

Ugh! I quit while I was off work (I work M-Th, 10+ hours per day) so I haven't been at work while I quit yet. Next week we are going back to a 5x8 (M-F) schedule. I will deeply miss my Fridays off! Deeply!  Working on the assembly line is different from 'other' work. We have time to 'think' a lot, if you will. Our jobs are mindless, boring, repetitive, monotonous, you name it.  I just hope I don't think about smoking! Last time I was ok, but last time I had the patch. This time I am going

mrsguest

mrsguest

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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