You lived a good life Bette and raised a family who you can be proud of. You lived to the ripe age of 87 years which is substantial by most standards. You didn't smoke or drink to excess but still the Alzheimer's came to you in your 80th year.

 

Your husband died and you quickly became confused and unsure of things going on around you. Accurate in your long term memory but clearly confused in your short term memory. It was funny to us when you swore up and down that you had just spoken to people who had been dead for 20 years. We joked about how you could now hide your own Easter Eggs :) We knew then that we had to watch over your every action. Protect you from those leeches that are out there trying to take advantage of older people who may not be as sharp as they once were.

 

Then, when you fell and broke your hip and you went to hospital for a month, you seemed to take a turn for the worse and very quickly! Now, confusion was there in everyday life. Short term - long term memory. It was now your daily normal state of mind. You started wondering away from home and not knowing how to get back. The worry carried by your children was a heavy daily burden.

 

Then came the day when you fell just outside your house and broke your shoulder and arm badly. Your bones were shattered and couldn't be repaired due to your age. It was then clear you could no longer liver on you own.

 

Confined to a long term convalescence facility you languished and slide further and faster downhill. We all did our best to visit you.Take you out of there for occasions like Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and other family celebrations but after only months you could not even recognize family members most days we came to visit. You no longer had control over your bodily functions. Your ability to communicate effectively was disappearing. Grunts and other noises were all you could manage. Your children were partially in denial and partially scared silly of what would lie ahead. You were no longer their mother. The person who they knew as their mother had somehow disappeared!

 

Finally, last year your application for a placement in a long term full care facility was approved and you were moved to a great full care facility. By then, you had lost your ability to speak entirely. You recognized no one. Your children pretended that certain facial expressions or grunts you made were a clear signal that you acknowledged them (I never believed that myself). Your moods suddenly became more unpredictable. Angry and frustrated some days & happy go lucky other days. You were in a world all your own. Nothing any of us could possibly comprehend.

 

Then, eating became a problem. You were losing your ability to swallow. Somehow, your brain could no longer tell your throat muscles how to function. OK, they said. We'll just put an intravenous in her. No - the muscle mass was long gone. Malnourished for months had eaten away all muscle mass so there were no longer any options.

 

Let her go they said.

 

So .... we did.

 

She died peacefully Monday after a visit from one of her children, a grand child and a great grand child. All in all; a pretty nice end to a very good life. Tomorrow we will go to celebrate her life and put her in her final resting place.

 

I really don't know why I'm posting this because none of you knew her but maybe, some of you don't know about Alzheimer's and how it starts out then progresses and eventually takes a life. She was a good lady taken down by a pretty awful disease. In the end, I'm not sure who suffered more ....... her or her children?

 

I am so sorry to hear that this is what she, you and all your family members have been going through. What a terrible disease that strips away the person you love and can no longer recognize, nor eventually be recognized by. May she rest in peace. May your family's sorrow be eased by the comfort of drawing closer together in her memory. Condolences.

Nice write

So sorry for your loss reci ...

It is indeed a very cruel disease...slowly taking away the person you love...

Your kind words show testimony ,of what a beautiful person she was...

All we can all hope for,is we leave the folks left behind with fond memories...

Hugs sweetheart ..xxx

Condolences Rec.

 

Eventually the grieving gives way to the memories of loved ones as they were rather than how they went.

 

Rest in peace Bette.  And may peace be with the family.

Alzheimer's is a brutal disease. She is at peace with her husband now.

Very sorry. 

Dementia is claiming my grandma she is 98 and we take turns regularly visiting the nursing home. she talks to her imaginary friends and swears her bed mate speaks French. She can't chew either anymore. She never drank or smoked drove or swam.

Sometimes when I leave her (at least she still recognizes us) I think it can be a blessing or a curse longevity.

Glad you shared it was important to you or you wouldn't have.

May she rest in peace Amen

Sad story.....one that too many families must to endure.  My condolences to you and yours.

Thanks you all for your comments. Very much appreciated :wub:  The service this weekend went well and being supported by extended family and friends for the past few days has already started the healing process for the family.

So very deeply sorry for your loss.  Thank you for sharing your loved one with us.

Very sad and I can relate. Going through the same with my mother in law at the moment. It's no wonder they call it The long goodbye. They have gone before they have gone.

thank you for sharing with us.

20 hours ago, catlover said:

Very sad and I can relate. Going through the same with my mother in law at the moment. It's no wonder they call it The long goodbye. They have gone before they have gone.

thank you for sharing with us.

Indeed - gone before gone ..... very true