April 21, 201412 yr I didn't know where to put this. I put it in my blog.....but that feels a bit like a diary. And you guys have become my 'peeps'. My crazy, lovely, smoke free family. So I wanted to share this. Just to let you know where I'm at today. I did, I had a witty, insightful post planned. Maybe something fun and light. I wanted to write about my new sense of smell. But........ I started typing....... and........well............... It felt a bit like that fairy tale with the princess who tries to sleep but there's a pea under the mattress. I'm having a rough day. **** that. I'm having a rough year. It began in January when we foresaw the adult child-momma moving home with baby.......and it's April now and it just keeps coming. Oldest child has written us all off.....ticked that we won't bail her out of credit card debt. 16yr old baby is just a self-centered brat since her sister moved home, presumably because she has to share her time space and attention. And I'm not a coddler. Never have been. Unfortunately knowing and enforcing ones boundaries means that people who desire to manipulate you, now call you a bitch. Sucks when it's your kids. My mom tells me "Your not even a broken in parent until your kids have hated you. Suck it up." My mom is not a coddler either. :) This is not manufactured quit-smoking drama. So, this is what life does, right? The latest in the string of 2014 deficiencies: My dad, the man who puts the sun in the sky for me every morning.....has some kind of health issue going on. I can't even utter the C word. But I'm scared. With good reason. He was diagnosed 20yrs ago with a rare disease, Wegeners Granulomatoses. His kidneys shut down, dialysis for 4yrs, daily meds that would fill your morning cereal bowl, all culminating in a transplant 16yrs ago. The kidney is old. The drugs he took, continues to take, come with a high risk for cancer. Plus he smoked. For years. He isn't himself. He's not well. His dr appointment is today at 4. I presume we will know nothing more, but more tests will be scheduled. I wanted an upbeat post. But I don't have it in me. Tomorrow is a new day.......maybe I will send myself to bed before supper so I can end this one.
April 21, 201412 yr Oh Julie. Not a fab day. Big hugs. Prayers for your Dad and all of you. Tomorrow is another day.
April 21, 201412 yr (((Julie))) That is one huge vent. Sometimes things can hit us one right after another, testing our resilience. Your eldest will come round, she's got to learn from her mistakes and she will. Not sure what to say about your dad, except I'm crossing my fingers for him. You have recovered from all sorts of harmful substances, you are one strong lady. I have no doubt you will push past all of this stress. Sometimes we just need a breather, baby yourself and get some rest.
April 21, 201412 yr Author Ok. A smile in all this: Dad called. Indeed, more tests. He says: "I'm getting an ultrasound in my kidney, plus something to do with um.....my uh....my manly stuff" Me: "Dad, are they sending you for a prostrate exam? That's your back end you know" Dad: "no no. Not that end, the front end" Me: "your dangler?" Thanks Bakon Both parents are now howling with laughter at it being called a dangler. :)
April 21, 201412 yr Julie its better to get it all off your mind and if that means coming here and writing it down, I hope it helped, even just a little bit, Kids will always fall out with their parents, stamp their feet and spit out their dummies, but at the end of the day, they will still love you, and do you know why, because they only have one Mum, its all part of life and growing up, pushing boundaries. I really hope your Dad is ok, and lets hope he doesnt let the Doctor know its actually called a "dangler" , hope you have a restful night, we are all here for you remember that, take care and deep breaths. xx
April 21, 201412 yr One day your daughter will understand why you didn't "bail her out". There will be day when she will look at other peoples money problems and she will be grateful for the lesson you are teaching her right now. Action = Consequences and it's a Bitch to learn....and we "hate" the ones who dare to teaching us this lesson. Sooner or later we all learn it and sooner or later we all understand it....and we love the people who did it. The ones who won't understand are the ones who will have problems all their life. Glad you Dad is laughing about being a "dangler". I am just waiting for the right time point an my husband will learn his new nickname :-) You had some tough weeks and moths. Make sure you have a date night with you husband at least twice a months...and have one "me day" once a months..that would be my advice, besides sending you a big hug!
April 21, 201412 yr julie that when someone craps on your door step its and invitation for everyone else to come and crap on it - its like a crap party! (translation - everything comes at once) Im very sorry to hear about your dad and I really hope for the best for him - shame the dangler has to suffer ;) Teenagers:rolleyes: - you have set your boundaries you have to stick to them or they will try and push further - they will come around eventually when they realise throwing their toys out the cot means - no toys im not a coddler either - but quality time with each as individuals have worked wonders when things got tough with my rabble sounds like Miss Julie also needs some me time a little pampering or some retail therapy or a good gossip and laugh with a girlfriend bakon after a blow dry:
April 21, 201412 yr Awh julie I'm sooo sorry your day is soo awful, I will pray everything will be all right with your da, Oh nothing worse then grown kids with attitude, they are the worst, get yourself to bed early and start a fresh tomorrow, look after yourself, try ignore the kids and get out of the house everyday for you time, or you will go mental xxx Keep calm and carry on!!
April 21, 201412 yr Life doesn't necessarily get better......................we get better at dealing with life......................... sounds like you are doing a good job at facing realities and coping with challenges........................................ Glad that laughter snuck in despite the stress..............
April 21, 201412 yr Author Life doesn't necessarily get better......................we get better at dealing with life......................... sounds like you are doing a good job at facing realities and coping with challenges........................................ Glad that laughter snuck in despite the stress.............. Thank you Soul. Have I told you that I'm grateful that when you post, you seem to speak my language? If I haven't......I'm grateful. Thank you.
April 21, 201412 yr I have had very similar challenges with some extremely challenging stepchildren (adults now) that we raised in our home since toddlers and my father is on dialysis for his kidneys after coming out of a induced coma two years ago from pneumonia. He just survived lung cancer (removed and had a 6 month check-clear). I can so relate to where you are at this moment. We find strength when we need it. I see that you have that strength, just by reading your posts. You may not coddle but you are sincere and generous and give 100 percent to people they need you. My only advise for you right now is find time for you to care for yourself. Keep that sense of humor too! Love it.
April 22, 201412 yr Julie, I'm really sorry... I have no words of wisdom here, but I feel for you with all the negativity going on in your life. Teenagers are horrible, no way around that one (been there, done that, raised one, I'm still here! lol)... you made me laugh with the "dangler" as I had never heard that one. I hope your dad gets good test results and I hope everything gets better for you soon. Sometimes we just need some:
April 22, 201412 yr Oh, Julie...I am not very eloquent...but please know my love and prayers are with you...
April 22, 201412 yr Aww Jules, I have not known you long but I can see what a strong woman you are. Life is so hard sometimes. I am glad you felt you could share with us. It helps to talk about these things. You are a good Momma and daughter!! Worrying about them like you do. xoxo
April 22, 201412 yr Author Julie, hugs and prayers and love coming over to you right now Thanks Action Ross. Sending some your way too for your appointment today.
April 22, 201412 yr you cant take on all the families problems. I like when m kids get mad and hate me for something. Time is on your side, because they will be back looking for different help. My tards forget to chew after putting food in their mouth. I swear the new genration would buy pet rocks if we came out with them again. Window lickers survive only because we tell them its thier bus stop and time to get off...otherwise they would never get home. Dad's dangler....word can be used in doctors office, dinner table or church, not really an insult... "your a dangler" doesnt have a ring to it.
April 22, 201412 yr Author you cant take on all the families problems. I like when m kids get mad and hate me for something. Time is on your side, because they will be back looking for different help. My tards forget to chew after putting food in their mouth. I swear the new genration would buy pet rocks if we came out with them again. Window lickers survive only because we tell them its thier bus stop and time to get off...otherwise they would never get home. Dad's dangler....word can be used in doctors office, dinner table or church, not really an insult... "your a dangler" doesnt have a ring to it. Bakon, I may just have to be willing to take a few bops from Nancy's tennis racket .......but here I come.....get ready.......((((Hugs and a big smooch on the cheek))))) Ps-tell your lovely wife that today is the day. I've got my pink shirt on, and I'm leaving in 10 min for the boob mashing party. I feel like I should say thank you but I also feel like a child who's about to swallow cod liver oil. :p
April 22, 201412 yr Bakon, I may just have to be willing to take a few bops from Nancy's tennis racket .......but here I come.....get ready....... ((((Hugs and a big smooch on the cheek))))) Ps-tell your lovely wife that today is the day. I've got my pink shirt on, and I'm leaving in 10 min for the boob mashing party. I feel like I should say thank you but I also feel like a child who's about to swallow cod liver oil. :P Oh Julie, no problem! JUST THIS ONCE!! Happy boob-mashing!
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