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Know any funny jokes or quotes ..

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I have a WTF is wrong

with people moment

at least four times

A day

Two ladies met for lunch one day and as they were chatting and waiting to order one lady says to the other,

"You know, my husband came home last night with a dozen roses so that means I'll spend the next 2 weeks on my back with my legs spread."

 

Her friend looks at her puzzled and replied, "Why is that, ain't ya got a vase?"

Gday

yes I know an oldy but a goody

D0F1428C-49A9-403A-B130-44B8A0AB9D5E.png

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a

bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen....

MAN: Hello

WOMAN: Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?

MAN: Yes.

WOMAN: Im at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. Its

only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?

MAN: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.

WOMAN: I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models.

I saw one I really liked.

MAN: How much?

WOMAN: $90,000. ;

MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing I was just talking to Janie and

found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're

asking $980,000 for it.

MAN: Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably

take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if its what you really want.

WOMAN: OK. Ill see you later! I love you so much!

MAN: Bye! I love you, too.

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in

astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, Anyone know who's phone this is." ?

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