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A tale of two husbands...which will you be?

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As sad as Tony condition is...thats not the reason I came to the board although it should have been..

No my lungs were OK...I can breath OK...I havnt got c.o.p.d...so why should I quit...(numpty addict )...

Something else sinister was happening to me...my blood was clotting around my ankles cutting off the blood flow..

I just happened to be at the docs...hey take a look at my black ankles...

Doc....do you smoke...

Me....yes for 52 years...

Doc...if you don't stop now...you will lose your feet for sure...

This is what brought me to the board for support...

The damage is not always obvious....

Just take a minute to imagine...the nightmare our lives would have been ...

Never take another puff....never....

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  • I carnt post pictures, but I'm sure Tony would not want you all to see how sick he looks... Tony has end stage emphysema... He smoked until he physically couldn't put a cigarette in his mouth and smo

  • Doreensfree
    Doreensfree

    PP..when tony first had his diagnosis ....he was very much in denial....his head was firmly in the sand... His addiction took away any fear of what this illness entailed... He doesn't miss smoking

  • Doreensfree
    Doreensfree

    Time for a another update... Been up all night again....Tony,s health took a nose dive...his blood is not holding a steady rate of oxygen ,if fell to 80 /%. This causes all kinds of problems..

Powerful stuff Doreen.  Glad you quit.  Glad you're here on the Train with the rest of us numpty addicts.

Doreen, 

My heart is with you! I'm pretty new here and am only on day 5 of no nicotine and this was such a heart felt post. I really respect you and respect your decision to share such an emotional part of your life. Thank you =)

Doreen, 

My heart is with you! I'm pretty new here and am only on day 5 of no nicotine and this was such a heart felt post. I really respect you and respect your decision to share such an emotional part of your life. Thank you =)

Thank you...you fight for your quit...your life depends on it...

It may be uncomfortable at the beginning...but so worth it...

Post ,post... You will have support all the way...

This is a very small support site to others...but this little family truly cares for each other..xx

  • 3 weeks later...

Thank you Nancy and Doreen for starting this powerful post.

I am very grateful to you both and to everyone posting.

Truths like these help keep me Free.

S

  • 3 weeks later...

Thank you for sharing this Doreen...yes, very powerful stuff and my heart goes out to you and your husband.

 

I want to share your story with my mother. She has emphysema, diagnosed a few years ago. She is in major denial. Still smoking and blaming her awful coughs on "the weather, a chest cold" etc. it is already getting bad and she is on steroid inhalers, etc. but refuses to quit smoking.

 

Reading your story, I kept picturing every detail you described, happening to my mother, and it made me cry. So sad. How to make her understand what will happen? Maybe I can't, but I want her to know what others are going through with this, thank you for sharing the truth and how it has affected your life.

Tony didn't quit cigarettes. 

 

Cigarettes quit Tony.  

 

...and only when they were "done" with him. 

I'm sorry, no words, just a big motivation. 

  • 1 month later...

Nancy has asked for a update ...

We seem to be in a regular routine now,a couple of weeks without antibiotics and steroids, and then one week blast course..a continuous cough...just have to recognise when the cough could turn in to a infection..

Keep infections and pneumonia at bay,is a daily battle...

The lung specialist can do no more...it's all about making him comfortable ..if he was younger and not as sick ,they could have took a lot of his right lung away...but it's gone past this stage..

The c.o.p.d nurses are trying him with a volumer..a glass tube..which you breath your inhaler from..to see if it helps...

He is at risk of going into hospital again..

Of course this has also took its toll on me..its a constant battle...

C.O.P.d / emphysema... This is a very cruel illness...that very slowly Robs you of your life..it leaves you with no dignity..

All you have left is doctors,hospitals,carers,

Don't even risk this happening to you and your loved ones..

If we had understood this terrible illness...it might have made all the difference..

Knowledge...learn about this illness..understand it.

And quit and stay quit.

All my best xx

Doreen, I hate what you and Tony are going through, but your story and the bravery to share it make a powerful statement.

 

If you are reading this and still wavering about quitting, stop it.  Education, commitment, and support will allow you to set yourself free from this dreadful addiction.  You will never regret quitting, but if you continue smoking you may be left with little more than regret.

 

Today is the perfect day to quit.

Oh, Doreen,

Emphysema is such a gruesome way to go and not just for the patient.

You are a hero being a carer and this must just rip you up.

It rips me up knowing you.

 

Smoking and nicotine addiction is complete selfishness.

We don't comprehend our loved ones having to care for us, having to watch and listen to us slowly suffocate.

It is a horrible REALITY.

 

Smokers, do you have children ?  wives,  husbands ?  friends ?

We all have to die but, why are you choosing painful, ugly death ?

You'll be the lucky one on pain meds while your family takes care of you, listens to you gasping, coughing.  Listening for the 'rattle'.

Then, you'll be the lucky one, DEAD

while your family recovers from the horror you put them through.

 

Please quit.  It isn't hard.  It won't kill you.  

Thinking of you and sad that we didn't see the light sooner, all of us and those we love. x

  • 6 months later...

Nancy and I have agreed to post a update here..

Tony,s physical health is stil how it was..he still depends on me for all his needs..

We are now worried about his mental health...he has lost interest...sometimes it's a battle...he carnt be bothered,

Everything is too much effort..,so this brings agitation on both sides..

If I mention resbite..to give me a rest ..he gets upset..he wants to stay with me...

We have been married 46 years..and have never been apart..so i can understand...

But it's so hard...

C.O.P.D.,/ emphysema... You can live for years suffering ...

If posting this thread helps that one person from relapsing ,or helps you decide to quit..

This is what i intended...

This is what smoking does..don't let it be you xx

I'm sure Nancy will update ,when she can..

>Wipes tear away and clears throat

 

Thank you for the courage it took to share with us.  

  • Author

My heart breaks for you and Tony, dear friend.  It is horrible what the addiction has done to your family.

 

Since I last updated on Dennis, he has retired.  He is still in excellent health, and is now helping his brother remodel his home.

So very touching and personal thank you for sharing because it is very important for us all to understand the end results of this evil habit. Will keep you in my prayers.

I have nothing to add here that others haven't already said to you Doreen. I do want to thank you for sharing your terrible journey and please do keep this one updated for newbies like me. I just read the whole thing today and it does have a profound affect on those of us who are just starting out in our new smoke free lives - it does help us!

Lots of love to you my dear - you're a very special lady  :wub:   

  • 1 year later...

Time for a another update...

Been up all night again....Tony,s health took a nose dive...his blood is not holding a steady rate of oxygen ,if fell to 80 /%. This causes all kinds of problems..

Which can lead to cardiac....confusion... Tired....feeling all together unwell

He also is on the verge of any bout of phuomonia... So needs a whack of antibiotics....

Every time he gets phuomonia ,it weakens his lungs further....

Emphysema is not good  in extreme weathers....so this spell of extreme heat will not help....

So after doctors advice....he was taken to hospital by ambulance...

Just when you think..yep.... Things are pretty crap just now...we have been thrown a huge spanner in the works...

He has recently been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia.... And is undergoing test to see exactly which part of the brain has been effected...

We already more or less know....it's the I don't care about anything part...which is found in the frontal area....but tests will proove this...

Of course this will progress too....

 

If any one here is pondering whether they are doing the right thing...and miss a smoke....please read this thread from the beginning..

It's not just your life that gets ruined...your partner and your family suffer too....

Until next time.

KTQ....

 

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