Pre Respond to your own SOS

[Molly2310]

Dear Molly,

 

your Mum died suddenly on 10th February 2013, you were not smoking at the time, it was during your 9 month quit.  
 

You quit because your mum was a heavy smoker all of your life as well as an alcoholic.  You were so worried about her, even though you were going down the same path.  She was self destructive, so were you.  You made a decision to stop smoking as the first step down a road of showing both of you that you could change.  It wasn’t in time.  You should have done it sooner, she might still be here if you had.  You started smoking again, you fool.

 

You looked after your Dad, remember?  He had stopped in 1998 when he had his leg amputated because of smoking but you carried on.  You watched him die from clogged up lungs despite having been quit for 20 years.  He was in hospital in 2021.  It took 7 days in hospital and 7 minutes in the end.

 

You have scared your brother so much since then, he has lost his parents to smoking too.  He didn’t say a word to you at the time but you saw the look in his eyes, you knew how scared he was of losing you too.
 

You know how proud he is of you, how relieved he is that he doesn’t have to watch you kill yourself too.

 

I know that you feel so alone sometimes, I know that on bad days you miss people so much that you feel like you don’t care if you die.  I know that life feels empty a lot of the time but just think a minute, remember.

 

You have had so many beautiful times lately, you have played with your nephews.  You are loved, and you love.  You will ALWAYS feel better in the morning, and you ALWAYS will.

 

Remember that every day has the potential for something good: of a smile, of a laugh, of a special kind of happiness.  Of a perfect beauty. Of nature, a song, a comedy show, a story, of a new friend, of so many things.

 

There is so much to look forward to, even if you can’t always see it.  There are days when you don’t even see the “good” until you go to bed and think, or when you wake up the next morning and recall.

 

Promise yourself that you will always wait until tomorrow before you do anything silly and regretful

 

yours Molly

Edited February 13, 2023 by Molly2310

[dvs51]

Don't be stupid,. You don't want to smoke. You just don't want to not smoke, and you know exactly what I mean by that. 

You won't smoke a cigarette. You'll go back to smoking full-time. You know that, and you've never believed otherwise. 

 

Let's remember a few things:

 

1. Let's start with logic. Money isn't everything, but $21 a day since you stopped smoking adds up. You saved over $600 your first month. That's higher than your car payment and car insurance combined. By quitting smoking, you've made your car free. 

 

2. Let's talk emotions, since that's likely the reason you're thinking about doing something stupid. If you think you're depressed/anxious/stressed right now, imagine how you're going to feel later. No, not when you light up. I know you... you'll push the bad feelings down, you'll promise yourself to try again, but it's just not the right time right now, and you'll be back to smoking full-time by the next day, like this quit never happened. But in six months, you're going to be right back where you were - worried sick about how, when, and IF you'll ever be able to quit again. Is it really worth it? 

 

3. Let's talk about how you feel physically. You are breathing much better than you did the day you quit smoking. Your insistent fear that an inevitable heart attack is right around the corner has disappeared. You have more energy now. You're on the path to improving your health and fitness. You got through the grogginess and disorientation and messed up sleep schedule that plagued your first few weeks of quitting. 

 

4. Let's talk about the social aspect. Do you remember sneaking off at parties to some secluded corner of the property alone to have a cigarette? Do you remember the anxiety about how to tell new potential dates about your nasty habit? Do you remember feeling like an outcast constantly? Do you remember how embarrassingly bad your car smelled? Do you remember the yellow stains on your fingers? Do you really want to go through all of that again? You HATED being a smoker. Why would you want to step back into that club that you fought so hard to get out of?

 

Calm down, relax, and do whatever you need to do to NOT use nicotine. This, too, shall pass.

[DenaliBlues]

This is a fantastic reminder of the slippery slope, @dvs51. One is too many and 10,000 is never enough. The ONLY thing smoking does for us is make us want to smoke more. Keep the quit!