DenaliBlues

Welcome to day 24, @JustinHoot99. You've got a fantastic quit going, and it's great that you are strategizing to protect it! I have a "stinkin thinkin" soundtrack that runs in my head, too. Addict brain is wily and tenacious. It lurks in the bushes waiting to pounce, it whispers false promises. It revises history to edit out all the bad parts about smoking and inflates its supposed enjoyment. We just have to be wily-ER and tenacious-ER than those hobgoblins! You nailed it when you said: For me, I'm in an interesting transition with how I stop that catastrophic 1st smoke. In the first couple of weeks, my quit resembled a frenetic dodgeball game. Then it became an increasingly gritty exercise in self-discipline. But I don't think that white-knuckled self discipline is sustainable over a lifetime, personally. I am just not that perfect. So what I'm trying to do now is channel some pride in the days I've got. I WANT this quit to stick. I don't want to let the #%!*ing drug win. I want freedom, and I'm earning it at a high cost. I hope someday this will evolve into the kind of peaceful aikido of love and acceptance that I see in others on the Train. But for today, I'm using Quit Pride as my touchstone. Knowing you and others are fighting the same fight really helps. We can do this. Whatevah it takes! Like Hamilton said:

Kitty litter often creates perfume. fumes

littleneck clam

yelling doesn't endear

5. cuss while untangling them

9. take them to a movie matinee (Sno-Caps!)

opera cake

You got this, @JustinHoot99...

It looks like we jumped back in time for a bit. Must've been sucked into a "localized disruption of the space-time continuum," as they say on Star Trek. Anyway, I think we're here now:

Awesome job completing three weeks, @JustinHoot99. You have a GREAT quit going! I, too, find mornings to be very strange since I quit. I have tried to snap into a new wakeup routine (movement, cold caffeine, mixing things up) because productive mornings are important for my work. But my body and brain are NOT cooperating yet. I’m still lurching around trying to figure out how to wake up without smoking. It’s the strangest sensation, like I’m deep underwater. I had an aha moment a couple weeks back when @Gus said “Brain fog is real.” Wow, so true. And @jillar and @Doreensfree, I'm taking note of your comments today that things take time and can’t be scheduled. Rats! But it helps to hear that firsthand voice of experience from you and others. Sometimes feels like I'm going too slowly or doing something "wrong." But I guess I need to accept that it's just part of recovery to resemble spaghetti for a while. Okay then.... spaghetti it is... pesto anyone!?

So appreciate this, @jillar. Sometimes quitting seems like mortal combat, a desperate struggle. But reading this helps me have faith that the Train is taking me to freedom and peace. Ease is just around the corner. I'm gonna focus on that idea today!

5. Cheer up a bowl of fro-yo

Ugh, so sorry to hear about your tech troubles, @Sunshine. It's great that you are reconnected now. Missed you!

Welcome back, @Kdad. Glad to hear from you again. We saved you a seat on the Train. You can do this!

Congratulations on hitting the nine-month milestone, @Kris. A major achievement! Thanks for being part of my quit crew, and for sticking with me even when I get a little strange...

Exhausting run uphill.

Me, too, @JustinHoot99. I'm still dodging triggers, reminders, desires. They do seem to be getting weaker, as you say. Or perhaps we are getting stronger. It's especially hard for me when I'm outdoors. I never smoked inside or in my car. I stepped out on the back porch, or lit up after a drive, or paused on a hike to enjoy the scenery with a smoke. Being outside has been intertwined with smoking ever since I lit my first cigarette in the woods behind my house when I was 8. Smoking while "watching nature TV" has been my happy place my whole life. I guess it's going to take a while to reprogram 47 years of associations and get happy without the grip of nicotine. I need to spend the day out in the yard today starting spring cleanup. I. Will. Not. Smoke. But I might pout a little bit.

2. Put them on my Cream of Rice (yup, every time)

Attaway to Keep the Quit, @JustinHoot99!

Being reckless in new galoshes. SLOSH

Eventually need this earwax removed. waxer