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Evelyn

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Everything posted by Evelyn

  1. Yeah it is Bonnie like shutting ME up but it's junkiethinking
  2. Whahahahaha
  3. Where can you find that ticker that says quit... so many not smoked etc. so many on the forums have 'em!
  4. Choking to death is more to fear then not smoking. I've seen my dad choke in a bloodclod after being diagnosed with lungcancer. He screamed for his mama. I myself have asthma and confront the fears of not smoking, the withdrawls rather then dying the same way my parents did.
  5. Beach Tankini or nude
  6. Wow

    Evelyn replied to Gemzee's topic in Introductions & About Us
    Welcome Gem!
  7. Welcome Ron!
  8. Funny, do I recognise you LOL
  9. I don't have a memory of my mother dying. it was so horrofying I blocked it, she died of lung cancer
  10. Thanks man :) means a lot to me
  11. Welcome here ;)
  12. I've seen some previews and it seems an amazing piece of work
  13. Nice to see you here :)
  14. Smoked 10???? today. But I feel a lot more understanding on this board then on the other. It just hurted as hell and I tripped fell HARD and now I am doing this. I know many hare hardliners and I agree but on the other board I was often tipped over the edge... by their agressive style. I hurt, I grief and yes junkie thinking too but that doesn't mean beat the hell outta me. I prayed out loud (I am a Christian) and felt such reassurence that I should do it without patches and sprrays and stuff. So here I am, and would I just love a hug instead a kick under my butt. Because I am doin this alone. Not many friends, no parents... family abroad. And I ******* hate it I cry over everything because I miss my mom so much. Smoking is an escape I realise that - breaking the chain of DEATH NOW!
  15. Big hugs for all of you supporting me
  16. NOT ONE PUFF FOR TODAY ANYMORE
  17. I realised whenever I use the patches I relapse. Time to trust the Lord in this that he setting me free. A step of faith. Tried it myself now I knock on Heavens door ;) I smoked my last one half hour ago, showered and intend to keep my quit
  18. I am here :) ready to smoke my last ones
  19. I relapsed today and going to smoke my last today. There's a bunch a trouble why I relapsed, mourning my mom one of them - hiding in smoking - so if I could make special topic in the protected forum for this that would be amazing. I am 31. Lost both my parents of lung cancer. Yes I know 'and you still smoke?' Because fear got me trapped. I am completely honest about this. I am disabled and follow therapy every week for my DID/MPD (yup as crazy as a nutshell :P ) And I realize I really want to quit smoking for good.

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