Evelyn

I know I'll get through I just had to vent - get it out

Because I'm scared to go outside atm and have a nasty diarrhea

I know but what am I some sort of freakin' superwoman? I'm still waiting for this apply to get a go - to sign in for a therapy home. Nothing yet ... the walls are creeping up on me. I know the Lord knows best but is there ever gonna be smooth period in my life for crying out loud?

I am feeling awful. Everything seems to 'attack' me, structures of life fall apart and it frightens me. I'm feeling so so lonely and sad. Am pfyshical ill and I hate it that I fight so hard and that this is my reward. I'm not really craving - just wanna hide. Am so angry with my life and myself. So 'why not light that fag'? as my life is already a mess..... My heart hurts so bad and I'm just so fed up with the loneliness - the tears and inner pain. So a little SOS. I HATE MY MOM for dying and leaving me alone. Says the little mess called Evelyn, for the moment

Does that count in here too? I am now on the quittrain for 3 days and it's working I'm doing this

Congratulations!

I'm going to enjoy my guinea pigs on my lap more cuddling

It's good to pamper yourself on your quit

I'm here too (Dutch)

I'm not sure depends on when the re-air

Hope they won't float to far next to my home but I think not; it will be in the evening :D (it's NOW 8:12 AM)

Thunder is predicted. YESS love thunderstorms - as long as I'm inside - and maybe I m wrong I heard it with one eye typing my pledge but Yess if true

Evelyn is my real name but not Dutch my parents gave me an internationale name as we traveled a lot

I really hard NOPE no cigs for me

You're welcome sweety and Soozie take good care of YOU, pamper yourself with hot choclat or some sweets. (((hugs)))

You didn't smoke so my post was a bit late - still remember it and know how proud you can be of yourself and how proud we are at you for posting the SOS and waiting for replies before lighting a cig. You said earlier you were proud of me, now I am proud of YOU :wub:

I know it can be haunting you in your head - 'you need to smoke me NOW!' etc. but you don't. Really you don't :) It's all lies, you will never be happy smoker again - so imagine you smoke a pack you still wanna quit within the short notice of time! Right? So why through away your quit. You'll make it through I know you can Soozie! Say NOPE to that voice of nicotine, you don't need it. (((hugs)) for feelings so awfull and know that if you'd light one you feel worse afterwards you create another problem. Face your emotions, cry, shout, draw or write. But DO NOT light that cig! Capiche?

I remember as a child going in the smoking area's with my parents *coughs*

Nice job! :D

Hane't seen the epi's with David Tenant

I have the '10' seasons of Stargate SG1, although some dvd's are missing - already when I ordered it on bol.com I've started with episode 1 again last night :D

THank you Soozie!

One day at a time I say NOPE I wil not smoke

Today I moved it from 5 pm to 7 pm watching stargate DVD I stayed in the situation and then shifted it 2 hours

.... face them! Maybe with help, maybe with herbal tea... if you have flashbacks, start grounding in the here and now. I am telling this from experience. If you avoid the situation you in fact say 'see I was right to be afraid'. Stay in the situation until you calm down and then leave. Same with any fear or phobia. Just saying, you are not alone :) Hugs