MLMR

Here I have a nice Two for you! As you can see, fire but NO smoke. You are doing an amazing job and you inspire me. Congratulations! And please please please... do as they say and reward yourself. It may feel fake, it may feel stupid. But it works, I can confirm! It's tricking the brain, so at some point you really do start believing you are worth all of this. And that will make it easier to make the choice for YOU, whether it's about smoking or totally different subjects. Have a good day/night and do some celebrating.

It's getting harder to find interesting/funny pictures...

Grandma knows her way with chopsticks..

Way to go, @catlover, congratulations. I bought you this new home suit. Well that is, I would not wear it to a party or something like that but ofcourse you are free to wear this whenever you want, it's your day after all!!

Exactly! Instead they just smelled of a mixture of stale garlic and sunblock ... I drank tea as reward. Have seen a bit too many delicious Spanish wines lately. But seriously, I was só happy ...!! It's like my mental energy is starting to catch up with my physical vitality. Yeah!! Thanks You are also doing an awesome job yourself! It is! Sometimes it just overflows me ... it's a tingeling, happy, proud and zen feeling at the same time. I am thankfull this is already happening so early in my quit. I do feel my excessive writing and reading and learning of the first three to four weeks are starting to pay off. And... what a contrast to 8 days ago, when I SOS-ed! Thanks. We both know what we talk about here. THANKS, for being there and for providing such essential information!! Yes, exactly that, a wonderful moment. High five back at ya! Yay, thanks!

Having a little halleluja moment here! ? Came home from Spain, glad to be back. I started unpacking, doing laundry, groceries, cat cuddling and then suddenly I realised I didn't think of smoking at all and above that, I was very straightforward in eh, dealing with what should be done after vacation! Usually it takes me at least an hour to land so to speak and to get started. What a great feeling ?

Neh, no nicotine for me anymore. Why would I, after 5 weeks of abstinence?

Is the party still on..? What helped me in my quit, so far: Reaching out here when having a hard time. It felt vulnerable at the same time too, cause I tend to have many thoughts like 'get over it already, don't put yourself out there, just buckle up'. But these were also the thoughts/insecureties that got me back at smoking in the past. So yeah, trying to get through all of that. And apparantly I am not the only one! And such wonderful people here. Also... distraction, power walks, qigong, reading everything there is to read about addiction and smoking in particular, forcing myself to see each day as a brick I use to build this quit. Venting, writing, screaming in my pillow, practicing silence and learning to listen to what I need. Day by day and if needed back to hour by hour. Bitterbal, anyone?

Ok, so yesterday we were in this vaping store, because 'it's always nice to try different liquids'. Sure. I came along. I was shocked by all the flashy, shiny bottles and the marketing around it. The owner of the store was vaping as if his life was at stake and when I told him I quit smoking cigarettes, he was almost offended that I had not started vaping. I didn't feel like discussing the addiction subject at all. I was a bit sad when we left the store. There's something miserable in seeing grown men sucking on an electronical device and being all enthusiastic about flavours, voltage and everything. ? But ok, who am I to say. Ahum. Have been Puffing Burning Sticks for years after all. We seem te be finding our way in 'live and let live', concidering this subject. He tries to do it as much as possible outside of my view and I must admit that he seems to be more aware about it since I quit. But ... I can't stand the sizzeling, burning sound of that thing, the way it looks. With cigarettes there was at least a start and an ending, but this device is just always at hand and somehow ever present. It's like an extension of the man's arm ffs! Ok who am I kidding ... I really hate this thing. ? And the supposed ok-ness of it. It's the same bloody marketing as it was back then with cigarettes, making it look cool and everything. I don't even want to think about the risks that might be discovered within 15-20 years from now.. but apart from all that, it's about altering brain chemistry and pretending it's fine. Just can't get my head around it. Wow, had to get that off my chest! Please, if you have any, share your experiences about this vaping horror. ? (or a smoking partner, for that matter). I am curious how you people deal with it.

Yesterday, el novio and I were having a beer in Sevilla after having walked all day. It was hot and I was tired ... but not from smoking and a tight chest! It is such a difference, I am feeling much better physically. I think I am starting to 'ground' a bit. Sometimes 2 or 3 hours pass, without one single thought of smoking. I am somewhat more at peace, between the difficult moments. And breathing freely is sooo good! This morning I had a little heart attack though. I was looking for something in my bag pack, checked a little pocket and grabbed something that felt exactly like a pack of cigs. For one second I freaked out, but then I realised what it was and immediately thought, 'and so what, if it were cigs?' Yeah ?

Twelve hours away from being smokefree for 5 weeks and very proud I got through the past days. Although smoking was not an option, it cost me something! Pfiew. I think I am starting to get some enjoyment back. I was afraid depression was knocking on the door, an old but not so friendly acquaintance. But now I think, it was merely the Great Fog playing tricks in an environment where I thought I HAD to feel good and happy etc. That made me afraid et voila... I panicked. So glad I can see that now. Imagine: a Spanish village, pensionado's (the arty, freaky weirdo type, so friendly and open minded, impressive life stories). But like I said before... they ALL smoke. There's smoke and vape and marihuana surrounding me constantly, it's absurd really. Nature here is so beautiful, the Alpujarras in the Sierra Nevada, the old town of Grenada with a beautiful view on the Alhambra, beautiful beaches, sunsets in the mountains and driving offroad because navigation scr*wed up, goats on the road, gorges... [Scenery right now: I am in bed, typing this. I hear our host and el novio talking, about addiction to mobile phones, drugs etc. Meanwhile, I see clouds of smoke and vape passing by and I think to myself ... 'ha! You guys... know nothing! I am the real hero here!' ?] Heard this song yesterday while driving through this magnificent landscape. Suddenly had this very strong sense of 'I am doing this!!!' There's no trying, no 'what if...' no, this is it! And it's perfectly ok to do this my own way, because so far it works!! Starry starry night

I am feeling better. Right now I need to do it almost hour by hour, just like in the beginning... but thats ok, if that's what it takes for now.

Thanks all so much for putting thought and time in your answers. Read everything several times. I am coming along.. and trying to accept what it is right now. Not easy, but I dont have another option. Breath in, breath out. At least I'm proud for being in some strange Spanish village where literally EVERY person smokes, including the people I am with. But not me. It's absurd, being there and missing something to cope with, well... what, life? Holiday, sunny life? No.. I smoked because I had to cope with daily withdrawl symptoms. I have to keep reminding myself and power through. I have to believe you guys when you tell me it will get better. I believe you and I go on. Pfieww. Thanks again.

Thanks a lot. The internet connection us crap here, but when I can, I read your answer. Hanging in, at least for today I decided.

Please help ? I am loosing touch with my decision rapidly. It's getting harder to stay positive.. I'm not sure what's happening. It's like I am mourning, though I don't actively miss smoking. I really do my best to enjoy what I would normally enjoy, but... it sort of doesn't happen. It resembles so much the early start of depression, which I am all too familiair with. I really don't want to go there and rationally I know this probably isn't that. I don't want to lose this and I don't know how to ETQ in a gentlest-as-possible-way the moment.