Kate18

NOPE

NOPE Relieved, hopeful, and ready to continue on through to 2nd year anniversary in 8 or so months.

NOPE. Didn't smoke, even though it was the worst temptation since I quit.

Hey, I like that. I'm sure someone, somewhere in the forum has suggested buying or said they bought themselves flowers, but it didn't occur to me at the moment. Thanks

Thank you, my friends. I took the advice of many of you. I put in calls to my kids, but I know my son is at Gettysburg with his family on an historical tour, and my daughter is working on materials for the youth group she runs. I walked the dog for a while, then went to the store for a Hagan Das coconut pineapple ice cream and ate the entire thing. I looked further at medications that might help and their side effects. My doctor isn't available until June 10th, unfortunately. She has someone to cover, but I don't want to meet with someone I don't know and explain the history of why I can't have the obvious medications he'd be suggesting. Cheese always makes me feel cheery; apparently it acts on the opioid receptors. I got corn chips at the store, too, so maybe I'll make nachos. I didn't do the garden hose, water puddle and jumping up and down in it because I have no garden hose nor yard to make a puddle in, but it was an amusing idea. I did take a couple of hour nap after the ice cream and feel better. The danger of going out and buying cigarettes, and relapsing, is past. Thank you for being here to act as a sounding board and provide some suggestions that I was temporarily forgetting while I was in a cloud of blue mood. Thanks everyone.

Thank you, Doreen

More than caving into nicotine addiction, I don't want to waste the money.

I live reclusively and have no friends. I have a dog for my companion. Otherwise, Jillar, that would be a wonderful idea. Thank you.

I am torn. I am depressed all day. I researched how to boost dopamine levels in the brain, and alcohol and nicotine were on the list. I've already had two beer. Now I'm feeling even worse and want to go and buy cigarettes. I feel desperate. If I call one of my children, they'll be upset. I don't know what they'd say. I could call my doctor, but it could be tomorrow before she'd call me back. Buying cigarettes would help immediately with a mood amelioration. But then I'd ruin more than a year's quit. It's a toss up--my year+ quit, or seriously depressed without relief in sight.

Now I'm more than a year and four months quit smoking. I struggle with bipolar depression. The hypomanic highs are managed well. Depression, not so much. Earlier this month I had to go off of a newer bipolar med called lurasidone. It was causing rigid neck muscles and back spasms that put me off of work for more than twelve weeks while I had physical therapy. The physical therapy did nothing to help, but when I discovered that the lurasidone could cause back muscle spasms, and (with my doctor's blessing) went off of it, that was a game changer. Now I am back at work without problems. I have been researching what can affect serotonin and dopamine. I am seriously depressed, nihilistic. I can't take anything that attempts to modulate serotonin levels, so that leaves me with few options for antidepressants. I have been researching medications that enhance dopamine. Alcohol and nicotine are two substances that enhance dopamine in the brain. I'm already struggling with alcohol. Nicotine is more expensive, but less harmful than the alcohol I've turned to. I'm struggling against impulses to buy cigarettes to help with depression. Have any of you struggled with this, or had experience with this? I'll keep researching. My psychiatrist didn't know that the lurasidone I was taking could cause serotonin syndrome--rigid neck and shoulder muscles and back spasms. I lost thousands of dollars from lost work because of back spasms. Now I'm off of the medication, but we know that an entire class of medication is out of the question because of that toxic reaction. I am seriously considering starting smoking again because of mental health issues. Without some intervention, it is doubtful I'll make it through to next June. February and March are particularly difficult for me. I suspect that is partially because of the low sunlight in Winter in Seattle, our latitude. My daughter wants me to move to Texas because of more sunlight in the Winter. Anyone have difficulty with moods in the Winter, and anyone turned to nicotine to try to improve moods during that time? I don't want to ruin a more than 1 year and 4 months quit. I also don't want to give up on life because of an imbalance of brain chemistry when smoking could help me through the low periods.

Could someone please give me the link to where the badges are explained? This is new since about 9-10 days ago when I last signed in. Serves me right for not being here daily! How fun!

Robbie, that's great! You're making steady progress!

Abby, this is wonderful, just wonderful! Congratulations!

Opah, this is awesome! Before you know it, you'll be on the Lido Deck!

Doreen, you have always been inspirational. You are one of the key reasons that I kept returning to QSMB and this site to "try, try again." And succeeded.

Holy Smoke! (Pun intended) It's been 9 days since I signed in and pledged, not from laziness, but because I didn't think about smoking. I only remembered now because when I opened my window to let in some fresh air, the cigarette smoke from my upstairs neighbor wafted in. Immediately I remembered that I hadn't been signing in and pledging. So here I am. What's with the badges? I haven't seen them before. There was a notification when I logged into my account. Ha! I love it. I really feel like a nonsmoker.

NOPE

NOPE

I watched Allen Carr's video so many times I can't remember. Also watched all the sad stories of people whose lives were destroyed by nicotine. I didn't "get it" for a long time. I tried so many times to quit that I don't remember. Sometimes made it a day, a week, sometimes a month. Eventually, I really got it. I found my real reason, a strong enough "why." It was Covid. If I'd gotten the disease as a smoker, I'd have had a poor chance of living. Find your "why." Then you'll quit. And stay quit.

NOPE

NOPE

NOPE It gets easier with every passing day to say NOPE

Wow, yes, NOPE

It is heart-breaking to think that a person would ever think that smoking cigarettes has anything to do with making a pain feel better. That is only addiction speaking. Ach, my heart aches for you.

NOPE If ever I miss the pledge, it is just that smoking doesn't cross my mind. And that is a good thing. Nonetheless, my heart is with every person who is pledging to never take another puff.