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About gonfishn21

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  1. gonfishn21

    No Man's Land

    Excellent post. I it a thing, or an excuse? I do not believe it is either. Just like the long list of symptoms. You may have some, but seldom all. It's a possible condition. It was very strong for me. It led me to write. It concerned me. But I didn't relapse, so it wasn't an excuse. Just something else to be aware of so you are prepared for it if it comes your way. I love this post Nancy.
  2. gonfishn21

    What's For Dinner: Part 2

    Tonight I'm making chicken breasts stuffed with mozzarella, spinach and sun dried tomatoes. Served in a cream mushroom garlic sauce. Does not bode well for the waist line, but yum!
  3. gonfishn21

    Losing my way

    Fab, Like everyone else, I have been there. The thoughts of why did I go through this, I'm not happy. I feel deprived, left out, not quite satisfied with anything. And no more pats on the back to sustain me. Yep. No man's land. I like to look at it this way: your addiction is having it's last tantrum to try and lure you back. It's desperate now, because you are winning. It is a last ditch effort to not lose you to the world of non smokers. You have come so far, and your addiction is losing. Stay up on your physical needs, and don't forget to congratulate yourself now and again. And throw in some small rewards as well. This is the last difficult leg of a "Rest of your life journey. I have almost three and a half years now, and I really never ever consider needing one, wanting one, or let alone missing one. You will get there too if you hold strong. Just sayin, Gon
  4. gonfishn21

    And yet another

    Awesome to see you Jordan!!
  5. gonfishn21

    Quit on your terms !!!!

    I have said this so many times. My partner quit drinking 18 mos. ago. She tells me all of the time, " I can drink today." And I answer," but will you?" Smoking is the same. Of course you can. But then, why are you here? Choosing not to is key. Otherwise you are just abstaining.
  6. Thank you all. This has been trying, but the support from others is always such a comfort. I really meant this to be about the strength of a quit, and no matter what happens in life, it does not "make" you go back to smoking. In the long run they can solidify your fortitude. I am a lucky woman.
  7. Wow. I'm almost 3 years and 3 months quit. The past 4 months have been some of the absolute hardest I have ever faced. Culminating last Thursday in a personal tragedy. Funny, I sure thought about smoking. I thought how it would increase my pain, damage my health when I need to be strongest for a loved one, how many times I would be running out instead of holding a hand, and planning an escape to buy more when I need to be present and listening most. Like all I guess, smoking is such a selfish addiction. Yeah, I thought about it. But I never desired it. I'll live in the present, not the past. No matter what comes my way. I never thought I could be so free of them. Now I truly know, I will never smoke again. Just sayin Gon
  8. gonfishn21

    Another one from QSMB

    Hmmmm, November 15 here, so, I guess you are right!
  9. gonfishn21

    Mental Balloons: repost by Gonfishn21

    I also do not pledge nope. My signature on the old site said it all for me. " I no longer smoke. Smoking is no longer an option for me. Smoking is just something I used to do"
  10. gonfishn21

    Another one without a home

    Thanks for the welcome all. Great to see good old friends, and new ones on the horizon.
  11. gonfishn21

    Mental Balloons: repost by Gonfishn21

    Oh crap, now it's on here twice!!!! Hahahaha!!!
  12. gonfishn21

    Another one without a home

    Thank you Johnny! Always a pleasure seeing you!
  13. gonfishn21

    Another one without a home

    I think I did it Nancy!!
  14. gonfishn21

    Mental Balloons

    For Nancy Mental Balloons Posted by gonfishn21 on 16 January 2015 - 06:17 PM As I'm now chasing the tweenie label, and have been thinking a lot about the concerns I have had regading No Man's Land, its got me thinking again. As most of you know, that means I'm going to ramble. Although I am not one that needs a lot of kudos, it seems that it is a necessary part of this process for a while. We make it through day 1 HURRAH!!!!!!!!!! We make it through hell week HURRAY!!!! Heck week over, " I feel better" HURRAy!! Two weeks, wow, learning to get through the craves, HURRay! Three weeks, can be around my friends and family without committing a felony, HURray Four weeks, nerves under control, waistband a little tight, not bad, HUrray Five weeks, walking, eating right, digestion shut down, but not smoking, Hurray Six weeks, no craves, no moods, no smoking, digestion shut down, HUH? Seven to eight weeks, no one wants to know but you, how you are doing. By the way, my digestion is shut down! They really stopped wanting to hear weeks ago, you just kept talking about it. You can see it in their eyes when you walk up. They probably have a pool about how long it will take you to bring it up. Or even worse, the day your digestion works! Yeah, wow woot woot yippee, big deal. Hello No Man's Land' How am i going to keep going with this? I need to bring my own ballons to the party. I know my friends and family care, but they dont get it. Even as firm as I have been since day one, this is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I know it, thats all that matters. As i reach the little milestones ahead, I need to be the one who says HURRAY!!!!!. I need to be the one who acknowledges the accomplishments. Afterall, in the end, I made the decision to quit, I made it through hell week, heck week, and i am the one who may never digest food again. I need to remind myself everyday, how much I have accomplished, BEFORE I have a chance to get weak. In that way, I can stay ahead, be ready to face any challenge with a strong defense. Smoking is no longer an option for me. Smoking is just something I used to do. I control my actions, and smoking is a choice. I choose not to smoke, even if I never digest food again. I found a website the other day, that actually teaches you HOW TO SMOKE. I couldn't believe it. It takes you through lighting it, drawing on it, how it feels.......Holy Crap I was feeling it!!!!! Two flipping months into this, and I was feeling it, and then I knew. I had to make mental ballons and carry them with me at all times. Everyday is a celebration, everyday needs reminders, and everyday has its challenges. There is no one here, that can not do it. I'm not special. I'm just going to carry my own balloons. Just sayin, Gon
  15. gonfishn21

    Another one without a home

    I think Jillar just did Nancy!!

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