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farmgirl

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About farmgirl

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  • Quit Date
    12/27/2017

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  1. Do tell about the post-one-year cravings... I have definitely had cravings over the past year, but they've really died down. I even had a month with none at all (I swear - it was month 10 or 11, I can't remember). A few crept up during the last month, but now... I have cravings on a daily basis, and they are NOT the little passing nostalgic ones - they feel more physical. Is this a thing? I know it's all in my head, but why now? It's not cool. Is it because I came into this year with full-on confidence? Am I losing my edge?
  2. farmgirl

    Dudes! One year!

    I knew you wouldn't forget this important day. I'm just so proud of myself, I had to make my own post. I spent the day hanging out at a family member's swanky pool in South Florida, enjoying a healthy supply of beer and sun. Not too much, not too little... feeling like a boss.
  3. farmgirl

    Dudes! One year!

    Here I am, one year smoke free! What do I win?? A stack of extra cash in my pocket, freedom from the nicotine clock, compliments that I smell great, hack-free evenings, hypochondria-free days, hopefully some extra days tacked on to the end of my life, role-modeling for my kids... I could go on. Do I miss smoking? Every now and then in a nostalgic way. Do I want to smoke? Never.
  4. farmgirl

    Farmgirl is 11 Months Smoke Free!

    Thank you, thank you... *takes a gratuitous bow* Went to the corner store a few days ago to pick up some swiss cheese for turkey sandwich leftovers, and noticed my old brand behind the counter. It looked so sad and pathetic - just a little box of broken promises. I am so strong in this quit that the other day I thought to myself "I bet I could have just one and then walk away!" And then I laughed and laughed and laughed in my head and said "You are so f*in' funny! That's simultaneously such a gross idea, and such a lie!" And I leaned back happily on my heels and sucked in a huge breath of fresh air. My quit has never felt better, honestly. I can't remember a time this past month that I had a craving, and that is a first. I'm not counting on that being the way it will always be, but how awesome is it that it happened even once? Thanks for remembering this important day with me. I was looking forward to coming and reading your comments and reassuring anyone who is quaking in their boots about quitting that it can be done and it will be wonderful.
  5. farmgirl

    Ups and Downs

    Hi all, Celebrating 10 months smoke free tomorrow. I had a day a few weeks back after a terrible night's sleep when I was THIS close to buying or bumming a smoke, and was at the point where I considered writing an SOS. But I gathered my thoughts, recounted my reasons, and stayed quit. My daughter kissed me goodbye when I dropped her off at school today, and said "You smell so nice, mom." Small moments with huge rewards.
  6. farmgirl

    Farmgirl is 9 Months Smoke Free!

    Hey all, Things are generally good. I can't say I don't have any thoughts about smoking. A few days ago, I had a short fantasy of smoking at a bonfire. But I don't smoke, so... I see people smoke and I feel bad that they have to feed the addiction. They don't look ecstatic to be smoking, which is how I envision myself in my fantasy, so it's an obvious reminder that the fantasy is a farce. I tell myself, "you don't smoke now that you're 40." And remind myself that i no longer worry about coughs and shortness of breath (which, in reality, just leaves more mind space to worry about other things). I've been running and biking, doing one or the other everyday. Last week i ran 8 miles with friends with ease, and the half-marathon bug has bit me again, so there's a tentative challenge. I'm starting to lose a few lbs of the 5 I gained when I quit, and find it so interesting because I read that it does take 9 months to a year for your metabolism to sort itself out. I think it's also because the kids are back to scgo and I don't tend to eat a big lunch or breakfast when they aren't around. So, all is good. This quit is real and it's not over.
  7. farmgirl

    Farmgirl is 8 Months Smoke Free!

    Thanks for the congrats! I remembered my 8 month anniversary, but it was the first day of school and I haven't had a chance to check in until now (stealing moments from sitting in traffic). Last week was a tough one. I was triggered by loneliness when my kids returned to school, fatigue from the new routine, and also memories of last fall, the freedom to smoke whenever I wanted because the kids were away (I hid my habit from them). But I didn't smoke, because I'm never going to quit again. And also because when I quit, I gained a few pounds that I haven't lost yet, and I refuse to be both fatter than I like AND a smoker. Strange where motivation comes from. This week, I have a million things going on. Dates with friends to combat the loneliness, lots of projects around the house, and lots of confidence that my quit is solid.
  8. farmgirl

    Do other addictions suck just as much?

    It was harder for me to quit drinking because (a) I didn't quit for myself. I quit because of a drunken moment when I screamed at my husband in a drunken rage "I can quit anytime I want! I can stop tomorrow." And he said "I'd like to see it." and because (b) by the time I quit smoking nearly 5 years later, I knew the mental game of quitting. But it was harder for me to actually get to the first day of quitting cigarettes because (a) my smoking didn't make me irrational and crazy like my drinking did, so it affected no one but me, and (b) no one but my husband and a few friends knew I smoked, so I kind of pretended I wasn't a real smoker. So... no real answer to your question. If I remember the gut-wrenchingness of both, drinking was harder because I was an emotional and psychological mess as a result from my drinking. I went into the smoking quit well aware of the failure stats and super determined not to give in to temptation. I was already mentally on top of my game when I started this quit.
  9. farmgirl

    Nearly 7 months

    Hey all, Last I checked in here, I was a day past 6 months quit. I was having some momentary cravings here and there, and now I can say with all honesty that I've had zero cravings since around the 6 month mark. The other day, I was standing in line at customer service at the grocery store, and the people in front of me were getting a million money orders or whatever, and I had a bucketload of ice cream in my cart and a 6 year old whining to go home, and I looked at my brand of cigarettes behind the counter as I was seething with grumpiness, and I thought "If I bought one of those packs and smoked a cigarette, I'd want to throw up at how disgusting it would taste." And I felt a gross dryness in my throat and nearly gagged. My have times changed...
  10. farmgirl

    Holy Smoke!!!

    Ugh... I was at the orthopedist with my daughter last week, and we sat down in the last chairs left in the waiting room, and the guy next to me reeked so terribly from smoke that I had to breathe through my mouth until he left. Gross...
  11. farmgirl

    Farmgirl is 6 Month's Smoke Free

    Thank you all!! I'm still quit, but I have to admit I've been romancing the killer lately. Been fantasizing a smoke here and there over the past week. I'm having some intermittent strange aches and pains, and I was telling my husband the other day that I never felt this crappy when I smoked. He said because I was distracted by cigarettes and worried instead about smoking related health problems. He's not totally accurate. I'm in a modest amount of unexplainable pain, and will have to get to the bottom of it. Can't say the work is nearly done on this quit, I guess. But I'm not smoking, and I have plans for a 100% smoke free life.
  12. farmgirl

    Farmgirl is 5 Months Smoke Free!

    Thanks everyone! Haven't checked in for awhile, but still strong in my quit. We'll, feeling strong most of the time. I get little jolts out of the blue sometimes, but they are just blips from the habit, not any big craving. I have the very occasional real craving, usually when I'm somewhere that someone else is smoking, but I always turn the thought around and feel bad that that person is a slave to their drug. Fast forward their lives, and find myself on a rosier pathm
  13. farmgirl

    Finally letting go

    Hey Fab, I'm glad to hear you are with me on this quit! Yeah... It was a bit crazy to keep them around, but the thing that makes me crave the most is the feeling of being trapped, so giving myself the constant choice helped me. When I feel trapped, I tune out and let autopilot take over and bend towards immediate relief. Having the choice frees me to make the conscious decision not to smoke. It's how I quit drinking, too. Put all the power in my own hands...
  14. farmgirl

    Finally letting go

    I'm 4 months smoke-free. The night before my first smoke-free day, I smoked two cigarettes before heading in to sleep, leaving two cigarettes left in the pack. Other times I quit in the past, I finished a pack, leaving myself the burden of actually going to a store and buying more if I wanted to kill my quit. This time, I kept the rest of the pack in my purse. You could see this as a lack of commitment, which, at first, it was. But then it became a signal of my commitment - it would have been easy to kill my quit at any time, and I continued to choose to stay strong against my cravings, with the cigarettes at my fingertips. I'll be honest and tell you that a few weeks into my quit, in the middle of a massive panic attack on the highway, I pulled one out, held it in my fingers and imagined I was smoking it. "You can stop this car and light it anytime you want," I told myself. Instead, I realized I was craving deep breaths, and nicotine wasn't going to give me anything but a feeling of defeat. Some time ago, I stopped carrying a lighter, so the "you can light this anytime you want" lost some truth, but I didn't have any major feelings of stress about that. And now, the pack is smushed and stale, and I never think about it, and it's taking up space in a never-used pocket of my purse, and finally, I have no reservations about tossing them.
  15. Thanks everyone! So glad to have a support group again. Wren - congrats on 3 months for you, too! I read your post earlier today, and like you said, I totally identified with you. Sslip... I have to admit that there were times that the board not being around made me feel like, well, f-that. if that whole group is just going to quit without notice, then i'm going to quit my quit. When I would think that, I'd have to detach myself and remind myself that the rest of the world is not responsible for my success. I read the No Man's Land section, and will re-read again. I think another trigger is the nice weather. I remember spring coming around when I was 9 months sober, and craving a margarita like nobody's business. I settled for a strong lemonade. I'm going to have to just recognize the cravings for what they are - memories of the habits I had for the last 20 years - and now I'll make new habits.

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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