Soozie

Hi Lace still here :)

I haven't had the best day today. Pretty much all day I've had an urge to smoke. First time since last Sunday strangely enough. I went out to lunch with my daughter had a lovely time and didn't feel too bad. When we got home I had to fight the urge for about 2 hours or more. I very nearly picked up a smoke. My daughter smokes, plus I've still got some in the house for when hubby gets home on Tuesday. I even had a sniff of them in the packet. To be honest I felt thoroughly miserable. My junkie brain started playing games with me ... maybe I'm just one of lifes smokers ? I could have a few tonight ? I could quit on my 50th birthday ... may as well just light up now because clearly I'm not going to manage this for the rest of my life etc etc ... I knew what was going on, but it still had me torn, not quite sure which way to turn. I was thinking of all of you here, if I smoke I can't tell them, I will feel as if I'm letting them down, well OK I won't go back, after a few days they'll forget all about me. But in a few days I'll want to quit again and I'll have to tell them the truth like I did the last time. Or maybe I could have a couple wake up tomorrow a non-smoker and just not tell anyone !!!! How low can we stoop with this terrible addiction ? I wanted to get on the computer and start reading "fixating on a cigarette" I thought that would be a good place to start, also I wanted to get on here and ask for help, the reason I didn't was because I was supposed to be spending some quality mother/daughter time. Sometimes it's just not possible to jump online and get the help we need when we need it. I am feeling a bit better now, not 100% but much better than earlier. My emotions have gone a full circle and now I'm angry that my addiction spoilt what should have been a perfect afternoon. Sorry guys, I know I'm prattling on a bit here, but I've just had an awful day :( :( :( Sue x PS ... on a positive note I'm so glad I'm here on the Quit train, because if I was still across the border,I would have to endure some smart arse olde pharte making me feel even worse than I already do, which is what happened last Sunday !

omg that's scary !

Hi Tiffany, so pleased to meet you

Hi Leanna, lovely to meet you ... lovely name :)

I'm a bit late today, if fact I'm about to go out to lunch ... but here's my NOPE for the rest of the day

me too, I cried and cried .. what are we like ??? lol

Hi Shazza, I've watched a couple of episodes, but couldn't really get into it ... maybe I should give it another go ?

thankyou for posting this Joe

I can remember smoking the the Dr's waiting room !

Good post I can relate so well to this ... Perth airport has a smoking spot away from the main doors, outside of course ... I've seen people light up on their way to it because they can't manage the extra few seconds without a smoke ... everyone huddled together, smoking uniting us, and someone always says, 'we're a dying breed' it never occurred to me before how accurate that statment is !

TPAM ... has a wicked sense of humour !

Shazza, not sure about you but those socks are really doing it for me .... lol (yes I think a lot of members would have enjoyed this) ... I will leave you on this note .... bye bye baby goodbye baby lol

thanks Trish, I'm going out to lunch tomorrow, to a new seafood and steak restaurant that has opened up close by, a lovely venue over looking the ocean ... how lovely I won't have to go out afterwards to have my fix, especially as everyone will be admiring the view of the ocean, they won't have to watch me puffing away .... mmmmmm what about the lighters ???? are they safe ???? hahahaha ...

Hi Evelyn ... I've seen a huge difference in your post's recently .. at one point I was really worried about you, you didn't seem to be in a good place, but now you're giving out some excellent advice to us ... thankyou Evelyn, you're a star x

wow, I'm impressed ... what a great way to get some exercise !

I think I will take a look at that .... thankyou :)

hey Shazza, you must have been rich ... you had a t shirt ??? I didn't get past the scarf lol

I will Sharon, just got to learn how to do that hahaha .... BCR's ... did you do the tartan thing ??? I did, had a tartan scarf and got into trouble at school because I wouldn't take it off ... (just seen you're from Essex ... am I allowed to call you Shazza ?)

Hi leahcaR, what's the 10k app ???

that's a big exercise ... how long does that take you ?

Hey Melody, but do you still get the urge to take one ? or have you got that under control ? lol

Hi Nancy, maybe giving up the smokes was the easy part ... how do I stop nicking the lighters ... do I want to ??? not sure I do want to ... lol hahahahaha ....

awesome thankyou so much for that Sharon ... gets me in the mood hahahaha ... we're really going to town on this party ... disco balls, 70's food (lots of cocktail sitcks with cheese/pineapple/onions etc etc ... two hours of 70's cocktails ... I've got two friends on board to make the cocktails and we've even managed to get a volunteer kitchen bitch, to cut fruit and wash glasses ... after the cocktails the disco starts ... compulsory dress up .... we have got some people coming over from the UK, not too late to book your flight lol

excellent !