Still winning

Oh don't know, maybe PM a moderator to ask? Maryland Quitter, Jenny, Colleen, Babs... sure any fo those could answer.

NOPE.

Not One Puff Ever (just for today). Powerful to only do today anyway. Tomorrow isn't promised and yesterday is done. x

Fabulous work oneistoo. So pleased to read your journey and share with you but mostly I'm delighted for you on hitting this milestone, massive congrats on 2 weeks free! x

I can be a real a hole, as long as it don't involve me actually following a plan :) Jokes aside, good on you Jen for doing something to make you feel better about you!

How fabulous!! I remember chatting early doors and how determined you were, I knew we would celebrate ongoing :) 6 freaking months though, massive congrats to you!! Much love. xx

Sounded crap to be honest. But they are the days where we get to make a yes or no choice and every time we choose no we re inforce the I am a non smoker message. So it has a positive purpose in a way. Try not to dwell on it and accept that it's happened and done my lovely. No one wants a slow dance romance session with those thoughts. x

Deep breath. The Mum stuff is really hurting. People are believing her, people that know us both loosely like through the pub and such. Not most people, but some. That stings, a lot. I feel like some little sad case that I care, but I do...I just can't lower myself to whinging on facebook, I am a better person than that, it's too lame. End game, I want to do my spiritual business but teach what I've learnt. Still do some card readings and healings and maybe one other skill set as yet undecided too. So any and all courses add to the fact that at a basic level I will be running a course or courses. Plus I like to learn, anything really. My reiki masters is booked for august, my teachers (the last stage) a bit later in the year and then I can train people as well as do it. Another how to course on running a spiritual business in May. I should be completely immersed in about a year? This all happened when I was expecting to do this around caring for my Mum and kids. I desperately need a computer course and my friend is going to walk me through what I can do to my facebook page to increase traffic when I'm ready etc. I have no idea how to write an advert even? My "way" is to make sure I'm altogether ready, panic, then something happens where i think screw it and jump lol. Ok so the job thing, I guess I need a template CV as I don't even know where to start. Last time I applied for a job I was mid 20s, had all the experience and didn't get it because I didn't smile. I'm now 39, it's been a while. So I booked on the course to practice interview techniques, learn about how to fill in forms and CVs, etc. The course content is good, just the whingy people and all their animosity are driving me insane. I don't even know what to apply for either? I restart the volunteer work at the Nursery attached to my kids school next tues. I adore children and working with them but don't want to be a teaching assistant really. Then there's the references! I cared for 3 years. I ran my own pub for 6 years before that. I worked for the Woolworths group for 11 years before that and they went bust (after I left lol) so references.... I'm in contact with two of my old managers from the woolies crew but it won't be official. So for 20 odd years I am untraceable! The shake up is exciting, the thought of the freedom is exciting but I'm on the back foot. Quite apart from the crap I will have to downsize and move and getting rid of all the stuff before that becomes an issue. E bay (selling page) and I are becoming reaquainted. Financially I will be worse off. I know about the benefits I'm entitled too, it's if I work under 16 hours per week I get support but I would rather move into a smaller place and downsize rent and bills (when I moved here I had a husband and a mum so 4 beds and £1000 per month rent were fine). But I was bankrupt so most estate agents won't touch me. I put my name on the housing list but as I have a house I'm not a priority. I just feel like I'm banging my head against a wall! Chris will help of course, but I don't want a set up where I rely on him being with me. I carry too much fear from a failed marriage and christ, I can't even get on with my own mum, so want to be able to be independant if I need to be. Plus I need to buy a car, I use my mums car and of course she will take it with her. It's just all so much altogether! Good thinking about the library for courses too. Will check that! The jobcentre (the place that helps me) only let's you do one course at a time, so I can't apply for the computer course for another 4 weeks. Thank you for the personality votes, seriously. I am even doubting myself now and double checking myself too often.

Hope you are both feeling brighter today. Some days are just rubbish, but they are the ones that mean we should hold on, having gone through that day with those feelings, you are one step closer to vague memories of smoking and as a bonus, you never need to do day 14 again! It's over, phew :) x

Take what you need. Sometimes we have to call it, battle on! Other times we ride the waves of ease. Both have valid parts of our quit, one part would not work alone, it would be too easy or too hard. Your quit is strong and perfect. Make sure you cherish it like a baby, do what it needs to make it strong and self sufficient. x

Laura, no matter what, we are non smoker don't ya know :) Doing great. Massive congrats on your 2 weeks. Thoughts are just thoughts...not instructions. Loves beauty!! x

Possibly when they are tipping the lido deck time Jules :) Markus, always good to read your words. Thank you. x

scream laura, smoking caused this...not smoking will end it!! Hold on chicky. x

Thank you guys. Currently a steak and a bottle plus of wine down, sometimes my coping techniques could use improvement. Will read again tomoz and regroup. x

wronguns right... I'm gonna keep reading. It's like one of those programs you watch from behind your hands...why would you put cheese with vodka? I'm so confused :(

why not ey TFIF :D

3 months running man :) BOOM!! Massive congrats to you buddy. x

Yay renee and pommy....good going!! Miss you Nay, come back son yeah. xx

Massive congrats on 1 month free evelyn. x

No she is still here, just on the list to be re housed. It is likely to be soon, maybe a month or so? Thank you for the rest of it. Just feel like a prize a hole and then think, but that's not fair, I'm not...an it goes round my head again. My super power is over thinking I guess.

The worse the crave fought, the stronger the quit!! Good on you chicky, none for that smoking malarky...that shizzle literally tries to kill you!! Pleased you managed to get a handle on it, virtual hi five! Sometimes those thoughts grab a bit of ground and start running, youdid the perfect things in distracting yourself to force it out of your head. Keep marching, it gets easier an easier to knock those crazy junkie thoughts into touch until they start to diminish :) x

I want to take a minute to thank you all for the post before that I can't find now to update! In a nutshell things at home were really awful with my Mum. Shewas being incredibly awful and mean verbally, which doesn't sound like much til you have to listen to a daily "pep talk" of how awful I am. Fast forward to new years day. After some serious arguments and some promting by my sister my mum decided my "bullying" was too much and she needed to leave. Iiterally can't believe it, that's a bloody awful (and untrue) thing to say. My kids laugh at me and call me the "soft touch parent", etc etc. The only difference is I did retaliate when I was insulted...after the quit I felt more empowered and had more self worth to defend myself rather than opt for a quiet life. My Mum is now registered properly as of this week for sheltered housing and has chosen to move close to my youngest sister, who works almost full time but is near to where we came from before moving to this area 3 years ago. Apparently all the people she never bothered with she now misses?? Plus she has the right to smoke in her own house, good grief, I can't believe through all those illnesses she is still smoking. I am now frantically trying different thought solutions to the "good grief I have to work" sceanrio. Not because I'm lazy, far from it...but not had to find a job in 15 years! I'm terrified! I was planning my own spiritual business but I'm not entirely ready for that yet. So I joined a course to see how to do this and learn about website jobhunting etc...all it did is confirm I can't use a computer lol, so I need another course too. I am such a confident person normally, I don't know why I'm scared! I don't know how to be enough for my girls, and work, and fit it all in. I did manage to get a 2 hour slot cleaning my friends house though. I also applied for another mothers help type job already. So maybe I already started despite the worries. I don't know how to accept being potrayed as this horrible bully person who picked on a disabled pensioner!! I never did or would have, it's literally awful, I can't believe she's saying these things. She twists a situation and makes it sound like she did nothing and I'm just a terrible person. Worse then that and why I did keep her with me, if she says it often enough she starts to believe her own deluded exagerations or lies. I don't even know why I care, but she's my mum and it's unjust. She's upset both my sisters putting things on facebook about me too...I can't help but think, wow, you're my Mum!! I would never do this to my babies, I know that right now. Just having an emotional wobble and I don't really do that so not sure how to calm down about it. Also still after all that, feeling like I'm a terrible person to not take care of their own mum. Jeez update or vent, not sure what this is. Trying desperately to be ok but I just can't even comprehend some of what's going around right now.

Interesting to read a couple of you like the smell still, and that most aren't bothered by it. I literally abhor it and try to move away asap...it's kinda new I think, I don't know if I was like this early quit? Perhaps I'm getting grumpier as I age lol...gonna be 40 this year :) So pleased that whole pants drama is solved, was so confused why people kept saying smarty pants....thought they meant I was clever....turns out just large pants haha...ho hum ;)

Funny stuff!! I yielded early on which is saying something for you perverts lol :D

Crap/cramp, worked it out and giggled like a child, sorry mammy. So chuffed for you, check you out doing 3 lengths too!! You rock lovely lady and I'm pleased you got some time out and about with girlfriends as much as the swim. xx