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Normally in my dream I say no to smoking. Last night I didn't see me smoke it but I put one smoked all the way through out in an ashtray for my sister to say at that point, hey I thought you gave up. I looked at her and looked at the fag butt and started crying as I hadn't meant to smoke.... woke myself up actually crying. Our brains are crazy things and I did calm when I realized it wasn't real. Intense way of reminding myself I do not want to be a smoker and relapse would devastate me. I wonder if this is why we have these dreams as our subconscious way of saying - hey, you don't want to do that. Food for thought.

I love balloons!! Two kids later, I'm not lovin leakages so much haha. Onwards and upwards!! :)

That's the way!! Keep climbing, you are doing great!! Here are a couple of giant helium filled balloons. Hopefully that will lighten the load a bit. :)

I'm up and down like a yoyo. The energy is off the scale and I've been to caught up to even look what's going on. You know the problem with quitting smoking...you think everything is about not smoking!! How frikkin annoying that my life has been entering a place that feels much like the toilet, when part of whatI do is understanding how energy influences us - and I missed it. Utter divvy! First time I've written on my web page since I quit :) I may be more emotional minus cigs but I control more of my destiny then I did before :) Today I have written up the full moon energy and done reiki on bathsalts that I sell. Not ya normal persons Tuesday haha. I do find this hard. I wish I had some easy peasy, I just have this needs to be done and if this is what it takes then so be it.... but I love that I wrote....and that I can help people sometimes for no reason, other than it feels right. In case anyone else likes energy work, here is my writing from tonight: Scorpio full moon May 14th 2014 Scorpio energy is not for the feint hearted. Do or die time my friends! We want to get to the heart of our most painful situation, we want to understand the darker side of everything – you cannot bring light without acknowledging the dark! Bring passion, TRUTH, mysteries of life, a somewhat brutal need to own the situation. Scorpio is strong, I love this energy when I work with it. If I go against it all hell breaks loose though. The Full Moon is playing OK with Saturn. Saturn is the karma/father of the zodiac. We want an ending here, not a brutal experience. Your lessons should be learned, the answers should be clear. In essence you should realize that it’s ok to be yourself, that there’s power in that and right or wrong does not come into your relationships or life choices. Somewhere there is a big bang. Then it should settle enough for us to heal it. Scorpio’s are master healers in my humble opinion, not that it’s ever in their write ups. Pain for no purpose is wasted. Understanding and acknowledging a painful situation is the way to heal it and make it better, often it’s a growth pattern for our life journey. Nobody likes a lesson right…but how else are we going to learn who we are, what we want, what we NEED to be whole. It sounds dramatic doesn’t it, lol, it’s Scorpio – of course it’s dramatic!! Powerful energy circulates and gives us the opportunities that lighter signs don’t. You have the connected Taurus energy on the sun side, bringing a keep us grounded, practical vibe. We are not going to use this energy to dive into the abyss…but maybe we can take a peek into it! We will learn, we will grow and life is better with understanding of all sides of the story. Happy full moon in Scorpio! Love and light. xx