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General

Sometimes

I have literally not sat down today, my son has decided to move in with his girlfriend....she lost her mum when she was 16 and kind of lost her way in the world, to cut a long story short her flat was a disgrace, hadn't been cleaned for years, rubbish piled up, dirty clothes you get the picture. Lovely sweet girl, last 3 weekends I have been down, cleaning, scrubbing, brushing, dusting, doing piles of laundry, Basically showing her what needs to be done. I am exhausted, they both smoke very h

Bye bye, Sis

My sister just left for the airport to go home. I did NOT fight with her this week. I did NOT smoke. Hooray for both of us!   Basically, we stayed out of each other's way. We took different shifts staying with Mom at the hospital. During the few hours that we were in the same house, we stayed in different rooms and ate different meals at different times. We spoke as often as necessary about Mom's condition and care and other than that we had nothing to say to each other. A sad state of affairs

Days 1 to 3

Day 1: "Am I really doing this?" Yep. So I posted my first NOPE pledge. I felt awful. My body was yelling "Nat! A cigarette!!! Now!" NOPE. Guys here were awesome. All day long they kept supporting me, answering my questions, keeping me busy. I felt exhausted. Oh by the way! I was wearing the nicotine patch. I thought I couldn´t do it without "some help". I was right. But the help I needed was not a patch. But all the people here cheering me up. At night something happened. I needed my nig

Once upon a time...

I´m here to stay! But let´s see how this all began... Once upon a time there was a girl named Natalie that had one big big deffect: she smoked like a chimney. So, about 2 and a half weeks ago reality hit her like a brick falling of the sky. Her whole bedroom was a huge cloud of smoke. All. The. Time. She was always broke because 2 packs a day are quite expensive. "What the hell??". Since there was no prince charming to save her from this, she had to do something and this is

Almost 6 months

I hold on to my quit being a fantastic thing. It instills strength, pride, worth to me. I love how I feel, this freedom. Even the occasional time it feels "tricky" I know I'm ok, weirdly I "trust me" nowadays. When life feels a bit hard, I often wonder is it due to the quit - the truth is honestly no and it hasn't been for some time. Non smokers have bad times and rarely anymore is it about not smoking.   The "problem" seems to be people still think I am the person I was. The smoker, who acce

Mom's doing good

Just a quick note to let you know that my mother got through her surgery without any problems. Naturally, she will need close observation and aggressive pain management for the first 72 hours, but so far so good.   Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. I'll write more later.   PS-- I'm not smoking and not even jonesing about smoking. Hooray!

Better than expected

I am happy to report that so far things are going better here than I expected. In the first place, I'm feeling pretty calm about my mother's condition. She's resting comfortably in the hospital awaiting surgery this afternoon. The doctors and nurses are being good about controlling her pain (i.e., they are listening to me and accepting my advice :) ) I don't have to get aggravated about her care. What happens after the surgery remains to be seen.   My sister and I have been able to peacefull

Found my day 1 poem

I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it.   Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smilin

Sleep, at last :)

Getting my sleep pattern back on course finally (keeping my fingers crossed). I started this quit smoking way back in May, and just this past week got some good sleep. This sounds trivial compared to what some folks are going through, but I find it hard to cope each day without at least 5 hours of sleep. And finally it's coming around. Whoo hoo!
  • SanDar

wow

So day 6 has arrived...   Cant believe a week has nearly passed. I am a non smoker and i LOVE it!! Am also loving the fact that im not craving food as a substitute! I do feel slightly more agitated/restless, but im puttin that to good use with housework etc may the force be with me lol ;-)   Happy NOPE day guys x
  • sammie

Good time to vent!!

Florida in the summer is NOT my favorite place, regardless of which coast (I'm near Tampa). Mom was admitted to the hospital today for presurgical testing and, barring any problems, surgery is Thursday. Then several days of waiting to see how her body handled the surgery. She is very frightened (when we left the house to go to the hospital she said, "Good bye, house." like she was never going to see it again. UGH!)   My estranged sister arrived this afternoon (not good news). Even worse, she q

Wallow time completed.

Not my style, not my way but I think I just done wallowed the last two weeks of my life away? Sad, unhappy, over thinking, questioning myself, my life, my parenting - but not my quit. I love that bit by the way, even when life feels like it utterly sucks balls for no apparent reason my quit is still in the "oh yeah, doin it" section. August was the most abhorent, scary emotional month I have seen in some time. I am utterly jaded but re grouping.   I am brutalized I was too unwell to complete

Feeling good about riding this train

Good Good day today, feel refreshed, feel alive and feel happy, if anyone is interested you can see my facebook page and check out the post my darling OH posted of me today, singing unawares LOL!. I still can't believe I stirred the pot, I boiled up a big black cauldron, I added some insecurity, stress, a sprinkle of doubt, two tablespoons of sleepless nights, and a pinch of a notion, as I stirred the notion grew and grew, it bubbled, it got hotter, I could smell the potion and I wanted to tast

day 4 - feeling powerful (and wonderful!!)

im LOVING this site! i check in a few times a day and someone has always left an encouraging comment etc and it just spurs me on. so far im on day 4 and im doing cold turkey< so far it dont really feel like that! to be able to even just get this far feels amazing! i know its only 4 days, i know i have a long way to go, but im celebrating EVERY min that passes cos thats money i have saved, some of my life expectancy is improving and i dont smell like an ashtray everytime my daughter wants a hu
  • sammie

My Life as One Big Smoke Trigger

Have A Listen to Tex Williams, 'Smoke, Smoke, Smoke' , won't you ?       If I was ever without a cigarette between my fingers, you would find one dangling from my lips since 1969 (?). I smoked stogies I rolled mostly, until I was working as a Deck Hand in the Gulf of Mexico which made rolling problematic. I smoked tailor-mades, an occasional cigar. I smoked snipes and dog ends. I smoked walking, talking, bathing. I work from Home and You know I smoked Inside. I smoked cooking, c

Why dont they just clean that up

So I am watching tv. You guys ever watch the show Hoarders. I dont know why I watch it but I do. Like starting a conversation with someone that you know will just make you made and infuriated but you start it anyway. The whole program I just say, " quit being so lazy and CLEAN IT UP!!!" Like seriously. Is it that hard. Who needs to save empty 2 liters. But ya know I bet non smokers think that about people trying to Quit. I need to cut the messy hoarders some slack as well as mysel

first blog entry

So here is my first blog entry! So day 2 is practically over and i have survived the cravings so far. Am kinda feeling powerful right now as have had a couple of horrible cravings etc earlier but i dealt with it and i won! Sam 1-0 Nicotine! Go me woohoo! Am ready to face day 3 tomoro, bring it on man! Bring. It. On!! This site has been amazing so far. Didnt realise just how theraputic it would be to submit posts etc but it really is! Thanks marti for showin me the way! Much love and strength to

Buying some insurance

I quit smoking 5 months ago today. I'm doing very well and I'm very confident of my quit-- most of the time. The worst challenge I had occurred a few weeks ago when I had to go to Florida for a week to help my mother. She is 92 years old, lives alone, and has some major health issues. Being with her 24/7-- seeing her frightened and suffering and despairing-- pushed me to the brink of relapse. Once I got home, I re-started low dose Chantix. I stopped that after about 2 weeks and I'm fine again.

Got no mates!

Another quitter today has raised the "drop off rates". Wow they are pretty high!! Now there is a person on the board with my time, but only one. This time is a bit strange to be honest. 4 months was lovely, no craves, all peace. 5 months is reminding me, hey you used to smoke...hey you, you smoked you know....hey hey, can you hear me and so it goes. Now of course it's good, it's me. I have traced back and found the triggers and will work on them and my quit is safe.   So where's me mates at?

Note to self!

MQ posted this in another post and I need to put it somewhere that I can pop in and see it easily.   ****"It doesn't matter if you feel like you want a cigarette, have a craving or a shitty day, the choice is always there."*****   It may seem obvious to some in fact is sounds obvious to me but to my addicted body... it isn't. Hehe. Silly body!!   Not one puff ever.   It doesn't matter how bad you (me) really want a cigarette. You don't smoke. Period. Period. Period!   It. doesn't. ma

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