July 9, 201610 yr Haven't Posted in a while. Been lurking though. Ugh. I cheated, wouldn't say relapsed but cheated. Felt embarrassed. Early June I was on a girls weekends. Too many vodka/crans left me outside calling a cab for our ride home. Standing among the smokers outside I asked to bum one and was obliged. Later I bummed one from the cab driver too. So 2 cheats. I knew exactly what I was doing. Can't blame it on anything but my own stupidity. Woke up SOOO mad at my self the next morning. SOOOOOO MAD. HATRED SELF TALKING ALL THE DRIVE HOME. This led to a realization. That I'm DONE. I'm done being a smoker. every single time I've thought about a cig since my drive home, I've relived being so mad at myself and I'm not going through that again. I don't know if I "needed" that last hoorah to put the "romanticizing" behind me or what. Have had a few craves since then but haven't cheated again and am pretty disgusted by the habit.
July 9, 201610 yr ONCE YOU ARE DONE YOU ARE DONE! good to see you posted stick around post, join in you can do this!
July 9, 201610 yr Welcome back, I Can, your honesty is important. Your accountability to yourself, essential. We are dealing with an addiction to Poison and need to be as serious as a heart attack. Alcohol is a factor in many, many relapses (or whatever you care to call them) We all would advise treading very carefully in the realm of alcohol for the first year, for sure. It all comes down to NOPE NOPE NOPE. I am amazed at how quickly our brains re-ignite our nicotine receptors, re-ignite our addiction. I know this, I accept this but, it still astounds me. The visual is compelling. Not One Puff. EVER. I am so glad you are still on the QTrain, good on you for climbing back on quick. Please be kind to yourself. Your self hatred is misplaced, hate the addiction. Love yourself. Hate the addiction. Love yourself. Love yourself and stay Free, we are all on your side. S
July 9, 201610 yr Well done I Can... Never give up...giving up....your life depends on it... And of course...You Can Do It...!!!!!
July 9, 201610 yr Hey I Can... Bad person. There, that's you told. Don't do it again. It's an addiction - just a few minutes ago, watering my garden, i thought "I'll have a cigarette when I'm finished" Yeah right. ;)
July 9, 201610 yr This led to a realization. That I'm DONE. I'm done being a smoker When that moment happens, there's no going back. Congratulations I can, you are a non-smoker now.
July 9, 201610 yr Yeah, go easy with the alcohol with an early quit. That can get ya! But I'm glad you're back. You'll do great this time, I'm sure!
July 11, 201610 yr haven't cheated again and am pretty disgusted by the habit. Quitting smoking successfully is not about getting rid of a "habit". To chew on your nails is a habit. Smoking is not the same as chewing your nails.....or picking your nose. It is about recognizing that you are a nicotine addict, and that you are dealing with drug addiction. Once you realize, in your mind and heart, that you cannot put any nicotine into your body again.....EVER......you are half way to your permanent freedom. The other half of your journey to your permanent quit, requires that you put into action your realization that you cannot put any nicotine in your body......EVER....again. It really is as simple as this !!! :party: Cristóbal
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