October 2, 201510 yr You know when you kiss a smoker... I kissed a smoker few times...and he led me to believe it was because others smelled of smoke....but the truth is he social smokes... I feel damaged that I believed the lie and that I am involved with someone who justifies smoking. Meh..suggestions?!
October 2, 201510 yr You accept that people are people and you are you. I was an addict. I did lots of lying. So did you. Be true to yourself Marti. Smile. Don't judge. Did I mention that you quit smoking? You are awesome.
October 2, 201510 yr I know a married couple who both were smoking and both were sneaking around behind each others' backs smoking secretly. Anyway, at keast you have someone good to kiss :)
October 3, 201510 yr Wow Marti, that's a tough one! Firstly I'm sorry you are in this position, I'm sure you feel disappointed and betrayed, only you can decide on the course of action I can only speak as if it was me and that being said I would: Say he is probably not a "social smoker" but a whenever marti is not around smoker I'm sure he feels pretty crap right now or angry a common reaction for addicts and we know this is an addiction and we can only quit for ourselves not for others no matter what or how close the relationship Yet boundaries and guidelines can be set, maybe try and advise a different quit method? At the very least I think all cards should be set on the table, complete honesty is needed to move forward hopefully in the cold light of day you can come to an understanding Addiction sucks Love and understanding will overcome! Good luck hun xx
October 3, 201510 yr You accept that people are people and you are you. I was an addict. I did lots of lying. So did you. Be true to yourself Marti. Smile. Don't judge. Did I mention that you quit smoking? You are awesome. Very wise. I was going the other way at first.
October 3, 201510 yr During my 52 years career of smoking....I told endless stream of lies.....to cover my tracks... We sure are a sorry lot....... We can only hope he wakes up one day and joins you...you leading the way.... He knows he stinks....but the monster is still in his ears...whispering......
October 4, 201510 yr I feel very silly right about now... Don't Marti xox it's a snap thought, not acted on as yet... no harm done eh? I have a SIL who told my daughter he quit then pops out now and again for a smoke... she's told me she knew and "lied to me mum"... I told her EXACTLY what y'all have said... 'addicts lie' but it's because they feel SO bad about themselves... don't add to his shame!
October 5, 201510 yr Author Well you all are nicer then I am! I slapped him for lieing to me and then in a fit of temper launched my own working candle at the wall so hard, it dented the wall and left candle wax. I commend the bodycombat and boxing circuit but now have to do some decorating and better self management work :unsure:. He stank and I have no idea of the morning. Once I'd traumatised the neighbours and local dogs with an epic rant I went to sleep and he didn't dare to come near me for a day... savvy as I was proper mad as ya like. We are together but I feel really peed off and being treated like a mug as I'd asked before and doubted my instincts with him saying it was where he'd been around smokers. Screw this addiction and I really don't want to be the dramatic one but I don't think I can or want to date a smoker, even ad hoc or when I don't catch him or whatever. Thinking....
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