You dog must be defective.

 

Why does the sun always rise in the east?

So it can be in your eyes when you're driving to work

 

Why do they say "I gotta pee like a race horse?"

Showing off

 

If I were to buy 12 dozen eggs would that just be gross?

If you buy the bacon in gross too it should even out

 

Is a shrub a wanna be tree?

Only when its not an overgrown bush.

 

How much can a koala bare?

2.5 if it's in a happy home

 

How much is that doggy in the window?

You're in luck this is an opticians

 

What are you meant to believe on an acid trip?

That giant penguin do in fact exist

 

Why does everyone hate on the penny?

Cos she's a stuck up skany ho.

 

Are we there yet?

Edited March 15, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

Wherever you are you are there 

 

What do I miss when I blink?

An unmolested sheep in NZ

 

Why are yawns contagious?

Because vaccines for them aren't mandatory

 

Why is there nothing on tv today?

Cos its laundry day and its getting back to nature.

 

Why isn't the black sea black?

 

 

 

Edited March 16, 20188 yr by notsmokinjo

For the same reason the red sea isn't red

 

When will dinner be ready?

Nothing is ever ready to be eaten. 

 

Why do horses sleep standing up?

Because no one will build them a bed

 

Why aren't inch worms an inch long?

Edited March 16, 20188 yr by jillar

Cos they aren't worms they're catapillars.

 

Why do wombats have square poop?

Cos theyre not Hip.

 

Where will it all end ?

 

 

Rome 

 

Why do doves cry? 

Cos people keep calling them pigeons

 

 

How many rabbits are needed to supply the hops for a bottle of beer?

They stopped the cruel use of rabbits due to pressure from Jillar. They now use 5 year olds for both hops and scotch.

 

Whatever happened to the heroes?

They our out pending medical releases.

 

How many reports know Confidential Sources phone number?

1-800-Sources, just don't let anyone else in on it

 

What happened to the children's TV stars of our youth?

Eating disorders, cocaine, crack and unfettered promiscuous sexual incounters did most of them in, the others just got old and fat.

 

Green day told me the Saints are Coming, but when... when will they come?

when we are in that number.

 

why did the jolly swagman camp by a billabong