Ok maybe I should never say never..but definitely never three days in a row again because “Cher, you need to relax. Forgetaboutit. Here have this”….

OKAY!!! WHAT FUN!

YIKES. No.

Definitely reminded me why I don’t do that, like that anymore.

It’s been a rough couple of months. :D

 

Alexa and I have been staying with my boss (as I mentioned before) after leaving my husband. 

Been an adventurous week for sure.

 

2015, the year of loss. I can't wait to be able to forget it.

 

Too much thinking going on again. (Positive side? by the time I am through with all of this shit, I'll be able to tackle ANYTHING in stride and my stress free life, really will be stress free).

When things get like this, is when I always struggle.

The idle phases. The unsure phases. Fighting. 

The I’ll just go have a smoke, and think some more phases.

 

I need to talk to someone…wait, I hate everyone, don't trust anyone, and want to be left alone. Abandonment. Empowerment. ALL AT ONCE.

LOL! I don’t know if those feelings are normal from quitting, or because I’m half crazy from all I am going through. Maybe both.

 

This is really weird.  Just thinking and not smoking. But thinking about smoking more than I was before.

Thankfully they are just thoughts, I know they will pass, and I can come on here any time and just post my random weirdness, whether I am drunk or sober when I feel them.

 

I’m going to rot out my teeth with these lollipops and go think of when I may be normal again.

Whatever that means.

 

Weird is good Cheri, who wants to be normal! You keep doing what you are doing, because you are winning.

 

P.S. I like your random posts.

Sounds like you are gaining some great strength through difficult times.  Thank you for sharing with us.

 

Stay strong!  Keep the quit!  You are an inspiration even to those of us who have been quit for a while.  Reminds us what those early months were like and reminds us that we are WINNING! whatever our battle may be.

 

  :)

Ok, well I've kinda seen this style of quitting before...the gung ho, balls out (well no balls but the theory is the same) quit  :D . Thank you for being so brave and honest. It shows true courage to accept that even in your dark moments you DO actually trust someone/somewhere to be yourself, or the part of it you choose to share. I literally sit here reading your posts thinking C'mon Cher, you got this, you are stronger than even you know!! And I like where this quit is going to take you, so stick with it ok. Because for every victory, even the snotfest driven ones, you come out stronger, more together, more confident...and it really is worth ANY dodgy thoughts.

 

What you're feeling, drunk or sober, is how it finally feels to be winning battles. but yeah, tough thing is some of them need fighting. Some don't actually, make sure you take a note emotionally that some of the quit is like a free fall - that balance of tough and easy is what keeps us moving forward.

 

You are amazing and doing amazing...you are doing it already, you're a non smoker, huzzah!! But day by day, just don't smoke today and tomorrow we live to fight another day ey.

 

I hope that makes sense, my English'isms confuse many!

 

Sending strength chick, go Cher!!

 

xx

quitting smoking and getting divorced makes a person screwed up like a soup sandwhich,,,, I did em both,, more than once,,

 

you aint wacky,, well right now maybe...lol hell your human,, your feelings are on the worlds biggest ferris wheel,,,,, 

 

sometimes we gotta just "close our eyes an hold on"  till the damn thing slows down,,,,,,,

 

Like Marti said "you so got this"    

 

a new you is about to be exposed,,,, your gonna love her too,,,

 

stay tuff,,RC

Ok, well I've kinda seen this style of quitting before...the gung ho, balls out (well no balls but the theory is the same) quit  :D . Thank you for being so brave and honest. It shows true courage to accept that even in your dark moments you DO actually trust someone/somewhere to be yourself, or the part of it you choose to share. I literally sit here reading your posts thinking C'mon Cher, you got this, you are stronger than even you know!! And I like where this quit is going to take you, so stick with it ok. Because for every victory, even the snotfest driven ones, you come out stronger, more together, more confident...and it really is worth ANY dodgy thoughts.

 

What you're feeling, drunk or sober, is how it finally feels to be winning battles. but yeah, tough thing is some of them need fighting. Some don't actually, make sure you take a note emotionally that some of the quit is like a free fall - that balance of tough and easy is what keeps us moving forward.

 

You are amazing and doing amazing...you are doing it already, you're a non smoker, huzzah!! But day by day, just don't smoke today and tomorrow we live to fight another day ey.

 

I hope that makes sense, my English'isms confuse many!

 

Sending strength chick, go Cher!!

 

xx

You just made me cry.

I need to remember to not sign in when I am cooking things. :D Im going to burn my bosses house down....

 

I dont really know any other way to be than all in or all out. Grey areas piss me off. They take too much work.

 

Thank you for your belief in me, and your kind words, and compassion. Sometimes I need that. <3

quitting smoking and getting divorced makes a person screwed up like a soup sandwhich,,,, I did em both,, more than once,,

 

you aint wacky,, well right now maybe...lol hell your human,, your feelings are on the worlds biggest ferris wheel,,,,, 

 

sometimes we gotta just "close our eyes an hold on"  till the damn thing slows down,,,,,,,

 

Like Marti said "you so got this"    

 

a new you is about to be exposed,,,, your gonna love her too,,,

 

stay tuff,,RC

 

 

THANK YOU!

 

I dont know that I am getting divorced as of yet...but the separation is much needed, sadly upon much other losses and grief.

But Ill figure it out.

 

Its weird how I find such peace in total strangers.

Now that I'm done dinner, and did NOT burn my bosses house down, but filled his desk with snotty tissues...

soup sandwhich

All I could think about is sex.

I once had a friend who told me something about "******* my ex was like ******* a bowl of soup"

 

THE VISUALS.

THE STRUGGLE.

so, have sex

 

you dont need a partner to have an orgasm ffs

 

women give men way too much credit

 

Go **** yourself is not an insult....it;s the best advice ever  lol

Its weird how I find such peace in total strangers.

 

 

X2!!!

I say....all too hot for me in this kitchen...

 

Cup of tea and a biscuit my dear. That's the ticket.

 

Nurse! Where's the cold towel and darkened room? I need to lie down.

damn,, I wish more people thought like Babs,,,,

 

I  was separated more than together with my second wife ,,, an I loved her like there was no tomorrow,

strange it didn't kill me,, 

 

Letting another occupie  the space she filled was next to impossible,,,, I had no idea I was that committed  ,,until,,, she quit!!!

 

long over an healed now,, but I,v been there,, I know how it can be

 

just don't do stuff you know will hurt you,, inside or out,,, an love yourself,,,   first,,,

 

peace.

damn,, I wish more people thought like Babs,,,,

 

....

 

just don't do stuff you know will hurt you,, inside or out,,, an love yourself,,,   first,,,

 

 

 

I think there are a LOT who think like Babs; they just don't voice it.  And good advice about not doing stuff that will hurt yourself.  

I touched myself....BAT singing in shower