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Restless


babs609

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My central heating is on the blink. Nothing serious - just does not fire up without manual intervention.

 

Under guarantee. 

 

Called engineer yesterday. He is coming today.

 

Now - I'm restless waiting for him.

When he gets here - I'll be restless because he is interrupting me positing here.

Once he is gone - I will be restless because I had a problem with a new system........

 

Used to be - "I need a cigarette"

 

Now its "Why you getting restless fool? Get on with something."

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I am by nature, I think, restless. For those who think horoscopes are idiotic, forgive me, and am not sure how much I even believe, but I do match the Gemini type, which is restless. There is a tendency to flit around, not sleep or eat well, a lot of anxiety about money and security. This all fits me. I think I smoked to try to ground myself, but it dampened my creativity, and made me lazy and slothful. I realized that the restlessness I felt when quitting scared me...but it need not because for me being restless means I have energy. Smoking cut off a lot of my creative pleasures (art, writing, playing guitar, cooking) because I just smoked to quell anxiety. Restlessness can be a call to action. It doesn't always have to be something that needs quiet and calm. I'm 20 year meditator, so I don't have a problem with mental chatter. My whole quit journey seems to be much more related to the physical...however, meditation masters would say a tight mind will make the body tight.

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I think after smoking for so many years we conditioned ourselves to have a low tolerance for discomfort, period.  Any time something was wrong...we reached for that cigarette.  Instead of just sitting with that anger, shame, embarrassment, sadness,and pain..processing it, feeling it...and moving on--we grabbed for that cigarette.

 

Tuning in and allowing us to just feel these emotions makes us more aware of the consequences of our actions and therefore, eventually we stop reacting and making these poor choices because we know exactly how that action makes us feel.

 

My fitness instructor is constantly saying "go out of your comfort zone"--in fact, when I'm about ready to give up...those words are in my head and they keep me going.  Same holds true for emotions.  

 

Nobody ever died from being uncomfortable.  It's a part of the human condition.  Learning to live with it...sit with it....and not run from it...that's serenity.

 

It's actually great practice when you start small.....in traffic, standing in line at the grocery store, when something says something that irritates you a little...instead of reacting,,,sit with it.  You'll see by the time you acknowledge the feeling that arises....you're pretty much over it.  It's kinda cool.

 

I have a long way to go...I'm guessing the rest of my life.  But I think that's the whole point.  That's what we are here for.  To experience, to enjoy, and to learn.

 

I might not be where I wanna be...but I'm closer than I was yesterday....and I can do it...happily...without a cigarette.  

Yes, yes, yes! Beautifully expressed.

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Something is missing, what is it?

 

An unsatisfied need and miles to go.

 

A twinge, a twitch, a memory of something past, even before you existed.

 

Born with it seems like, die with it maybe, and yet never can you explain it or get your arms around it.

 

A desire, a dream of something on the horizon.

 

A measure of comfort needed.

 

Inner peace somehow, an end to the turmoil.

 

You have done enough, and you are deserving, and it will come to you if you let it find you.

 

Don't go looking, it will come when you are ready, and not before...

Nice!

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Not that it has so much to do with how I choose to process data and form opinions for myself, which may or may not hold water, but it seems that so much of what I hear, or feel I am hearing from this world is not really an affirmation.

 

The affirmation I can embrace, but the trend of so much information being nothing but a declaration from which data has been processed and which is heaped up as fact, well, that I am intolerant of.

 

It seems to be prevalent now. A blurt in some kind of modern medium is communicated so as to form and pass quick and baseless judgement or to set direction upon a course, where only by it's transmission as data is it processed to become factual enough to pass as decision making criteria.

 

And this all by a mere thumbs up or down from those who are there to consume it, whomever they are. 

 

What ever happened to critical thinking? Is the content of what we are being served up in electronic media now the entirety of what passes for critical thought in this day and age? It seems to me we are being served misinformation and being asked to judge based on the spirit of context, and not on content which isn't there anyway.

 

They would tell us how and what to think and most alarmingly, what is worthy of thought.

 

Another old fool loses his marbles.

 Please don't lose your marbles! (I love marbles. I collect them.) The point is, even Greek philosophers tried, at times, to pass off tripe as serious and valuable stuff. As long as you are making sense to yourself...keep on!

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  • 3 years later...
On ‎2‎/‎6‎/‎2015 at 3:00 PM, babs609 said:

That's the word I used during the acute phase of my quit.  If I called it a "craving" I felt like it had power over me......as if the only thing that will ease that craving is the very thing that caused it and nothing will ever feel normal again..I will never feel relaxed or content again.  To me..the word "craving" went parrallel with "feed the craving"

 

But when I changed the wording to "restless", it took a whole new meaning for me.  Restlessness occurred because my body is going back to the state it was in before I became a smoker.  Just because I'm restless..is it really my body telling me I need a smoke?  Or is it my junkie brain that's telling me that.  There are all kinds of emotions and feelings that cause us to be restless...hunger, thirst, fatigue, anger, lonliness...and these emotions are exacerbated when we quit smoking.

 

I knew that the restless feeling was a good thing...it reminded me I was winning the battle every single day.  I knew every day I was able to co-exist along with this restlessness...that it would make me stronger and that much closer to a relaxed place where I felt content and satisfied. 

 

This newfound attitude is what got me through it.....one day at a time. Committing to NOPE.  No matter what..

 It also spilled over into helping me stay strong and take charge of my health in regards to my diet and regular exercise.  Just because I'm restless doesn't mean I'm hungry.  If I'm restless..then maybe I'm just thirsty...maybe I need to go for a run or a walk.  Maybe I need to call a friend and vent, maybe I'm horny, maybe I'm bored or tired....

It helped me to be more in tune with my body and recognize exactly what I'm feeling so I am able to address the proper issue..and not try to "guess" what the problem is.

 

Feeling restless??  Find out why....chances are..it's not a "craving" for nicotine. (especially true after Hell week)

 

Non smokers get restless too....as a matter of fact, today I feel very restless and still haven't figured out why...one thing I am SURE of..is that I'm not craving a cigarette. 

 

Now....on to figure out what exactly is it that has me feeling uneasy and aggravated....not sure yet but I will figure it out.  I have more oxygen in my brain these days so, things come to light much quicker for me now 

 

:)

 

 

bumpity

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On ‎7‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 11:33 AM, babs609 said:

wow!  I wrote that?????????  haha..I actually needed that today.  As a matter of fact...lately.  

Thanks for bumping Saz!

 

 

You wrote great posts, Babs, and were very influential in my quit.

You may remember other good ones and I encourage you to dig around and re-post them.

Your nuggets of wisdom are always a pleasure to read.

S

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