Post SOS

[Keith]

OK Quit Train Members, WTF, yup, I did it.

 

Let me tell y'all a story in hopes that you don't follow in these foot steps.  and in some regard maybe won't help than a good old fashioned hug?

This is this evening's story:  So, my wife has been suggesting she lives in the kitchen too much.  After dinner tonight, I said I got the kitchen clean up and you go to your office and do what you what you need to do.

 

As I am doing the dishes, etc, I am jamming some tunes and what comes to mind? My brother, my best friend who took his life by his own hand.  Yup, these are tunes we used to jam, etc.  Then I decided to pour some martini's and continue with the dishes as well as the martini's.

Then the cravings start and shrugged them off as a thought.  Then the alcohol starts kicking in and had thoughts how a a smoke will be OK.

As those that have read my past posts know that my wife still smokes and they are to be had if one looks hard enough.  Not this time, went out in the garage and sure enough, there was a half a smoke.  So what does Keith do?  Lights it up and burns it.  Man, talk about a head rush and getting dizzy.

 

Anyways, not looking for sympathy here as I just ****** up 9 weeks of clean quit.  But, is a warning for those in similar situations to not what do what I did.  Now feeling like a heel and starting over.

 

Let's not let life circumstances past/present control our QUIT.  Yup, I f..... up but that doesn't mean you have to too!!

Edited March 15 by Keith
Spacing

[SD2026]

Nooooo all your hard work in those 9 weeks @Keith just gone!   I'm sorry you had a tough evening and more difficult thinking of your brother. The alcohol lowered your inhibitions and your wife's cigarettes on display adding to the mix certainly didn't help.  Have you identified what actually made you light up?  Yes the cravings were there but you pushed them away before.  Maybe it was the alcohol that made you think why not?  Either way, do you have a plan in how to combat this moving forwards? 

 

You're not the first to lapse and you certainly won't be the last so don't give yourself too hard of a time BUT you're back at Day 1 again and you're going to dust yourself off and start again but with a better plan. You can do this!  Thanks for sharing your experience as difficult as it is to admit defeat. 

 

 

 

 

 

[DenaliBlues]

Thanks for telling us about this slip @Keith. That kind of accountability is a key ingredient to recovery. 

 

I’m sorry for your loss, and sorry that you got hijacked by Stinkin Thinkin. In the cold light of day, you know that lighting up won’t soothe any sorrows or mend any broken hearts. 

 

The beauty of quitting //for good// is that you’ll never have to feel this regret again… you’ll never have to go thru withdrawal and detox again… you’ll never need to smell bad and feel nauseous again… you’ll finally be free of the temptation. All of that awaits you. 

 

So ditch those smokes and hop back onto your quit right away! 

[Reciprocity]

Damn man! 

I get how this kind of thing happened ... sadness, alcohol plus the easy availability of a smoke is a real bad combination and you slipped up; I get it!

But there's good you can take away from this bad situation. The memory of what happened and what you can do to next time a similar situation may happen so get back on the Quit Train and let's get this done once and for all. It CAN be done ... you just have to want it bad enough to fight through the challening times in order to get there.

Don't let go of your quit over one bad situation. Jump back on the train @Keith

 

[Doreensfree]

We are addicts . You did what addicts do 

You found reasons to smoke 

You have to learn from this ,and try and find a way to make sure you are ready next time you find yourself in this position.

make your self a tool box , use tools from here to help you .

Im sorry for your loss Keith ,

Make your brother proud by getting back on the train and fight for your Quit

Time for me to get my frying pan out

Edited March 13 by Doreensfree

[Keith]

Thank you for your comments everyone as it does make one feel welcome. And wow, what a morning after? Woke up without power as storms are moving through WI and finally getting back on track. However, more storms coming through this weekend with plenty of snow in the forecast.

 

Yes, I know I relapsed but am looking at it in a good way and hope my thoughts may be helpful to others? First and foremost, yes, I smoked a half a feeder and was only a few solid puffs and was gone (As well my balance and stomach. Did I ever feel sick). And not a whole smoke or even going down the deep path and buying a pack.

 

This was all driven by alcohol and sadness. Speaking of alcohol, when the new year rolled around I decided to go the Dry January route starting on New Years Eve. Rolling along, on 1/6 I said the cigarettes need to go as well. That said, this is the first I've integrated alcohol without smoking on (I thought I may have an issue without smoking and drinking coffee in the morning but that doesn't seem to be the case, luckily) Then throwing myself in a situation where I am thinking of old times (which are many) with my brother and having plenty to drink. Certainly an ask for disaster to a recent X-smoker. Nine weeks may seem like a very long time as you start your quit but really it is not long at all. When I've quit for an entire year and can start asking to lower my life insurance premiums will I then call myself an X-smoker. Until then, I simply am working on quitting but will give myself plenty of praise along the way. As we all know this is no easy task, takes much will power and HEY, let's not let that little cigarette run us.

 

The next time I am in this situation (though going back to Dry whatever month for awhile :))? I will remember how stoned, dizzy and sick I felt after taking just a few long hard puffs.

[SD2026]

Good to hear you're back on track @Keith   I hope the storms don't cause any more power cuts! 

 

You're right not to give yourself a hard time and you've identified your triggers (namely alcohol) which will help when the next craving hits you.  

I too thought I'd have an issue drinking coffee and not smoking but I guess I got lucky as no issues! Alcohol is a different matter for sure, that'll take time.  Your thoughts do help of course and resonates with me and I'm sure others who are in their early quits too so thank you! 

 

8 hours ago, Keith said:

Nine weeks may seem like a very long time as you start your quit but really it is not long at all.

To me It feels like it has been years since I've last smoked lol but yes you're right, it's early days really.

 

8 hours ago, Keith said:

Until then, I simply am working on quitting but will give myself plenty of praise along the way. As we all know this is no easy task, takes much will power and HEY, let's not let that little cigarette run us.

Exactly this! 

 

 

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Quitting takes all your energy, power and determination 

Your right it is not easy….

This is why you need to give yourself the best chance you can 

Learn by your relapses , what triggered them ,

Quitting is like the Okky Kokky, you have to put in your whole self in , and stay there 

Keep going

[intoxicated yoda]

Look at it this way, bud...you were 63 and 0 in terms of winning days not smoking.  Now you are 63 and 1.  Still a great winning record.  The great ones always train harder, focus harder and come back to win again.  Focus on getting to 100 and 1....then 200 and 1.  By the time you get to 365 and 1 that 1 loss won't mean anything.  Just because you slip doesn't mean you have to fall.  good luck.

[Reciprocity]

Glad you're back at it and clearly you have learned from this latest episode. That knowledge will serve you well down the road!

Others have given you great information. I hope you stick around this site. I believe it will benefit you now & in future. There's never any judgement here; only real desire to help others reach their own nicotine freedom