August 17, 20233 yr That’s definitely tough, Sandi sorry you’re going through that. These train-ers are so smart bc I honestly don’t know how I’d handle it without knowing details but def let some time go by and settle the energy btwn you guys. Any which way it goes, it’ll work out how it’s supposed to, ya know? You can always write out how u feel on your phone notes but never text or send it too, that may help? Jill, Denali, and Gus - are y’all authors or something? Your posts were so eloquently put!
August 17, 20233 yr Author Thanks everyone, I will write more tomorrow about it!! It's been very upsetting to me the past few days, even though I apologized and admitted that I was wrong with what I did. Some people I guess don't care, *sigh* I don't know!!☹️
August 17, 20233 yr 38 minutes ago, Brioski said: Jill, Denali, and Gus - are y’all authors or something? Your posts were so eloquently put! LOL Thanks Bri! No author here! I do read extensively, but I ‘feel’ even more. I always think my writings sound like street talk. HaHa Kudos to Denali! She has written some of the most eloquent but also the most sensical responses on this forum. Yoda also knows how to turn a good phrase or two! A lot of his early posts on this forum were very in depth, informative and helpful to me. Jill? She is wise and honest. Brutally. She and Doreen are the best! No minced words!
August 17, 20233 yr True friends dont drift ... Once your friend has had time to think .....and miss you ..she will be back .. I lost my dear life long friend .. We couldnt be without each other. I sure whatever it was is not unfixable .. I do know for sure that cigerettes dont fix anything . Hang it there x
August 17, 20233 yr Author What I did was stupid, childish, spiteful and I was acting like an idiot, but it doesn't warrant not talking to me for days and holding a grudge. Hopefully she will realize that a 53 year friendship is very important and let's just get on with our lives.
August 17, 20233 yr Author 27 minutes ago, Doreensfree said: We have all done stuff we regret Hope your friend comes around xx Yes, and even they have done stuff as well. I hope she comes around, but I don't know, and I'm sure her husband won't either as he is more unforgiving than she is. My husband, my mom, and another friend of ours (family friend) were there too when this happened. My mom and our family friend were not mad, but said that I did a stupid and childish thing, which I know I did, and admitted it and apologized to everyone. My husband was mad, I apologized and now he has gotten past it. Unfortunately, the other friend and her husband are still holding a grudge and believe me, it doesn't warrant them carrying on for days!! 🙄🙄 One would think I committed a crime!! 🙄
August 17, 20233 yr Author Ok folks this is basically what happened. Our friends came over on Sat afternoon. As you know I live in NYC and it’s been very humid here so I keep my air conditioner on…I don’t have central A/C, I have wall in the sleeve units. I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, they don’t give even cooling like central A/C. So you can be in front of it and it’s freezing and be like 10-20 feet away and it can be warm, especially in the kitchen. Ok, trying to get to the point, I’m always very hot, my husband is always very cold (but he used to be hotter than me), my friend (the one who is not talking to me, is always cold), (her husband is hot but goes with what she says). Ok, so they came in the afternoon and everything was totally fine and then we went to dinner and everything was great as well. Before we left to go to the restaurant, I put my A/C in the living room (that is the unit in question), temp down to 68 degrees, but you have to realize since it’s the wall unit, and not central A/C, the cooling isn’t even. Ok so we went to eat and everything was great, then we came home and that’s when the problem started. My husband was not happy that I had the A/C on 68 degrees, and he shut it off completely. Well when I saw that, that’s when I got very mad. He never should have shut it off totally. If he would have turned it up a few degrees, everything would have been fine, and this would never have happened . So I got very annoyed and did a stupid, childish and asinine thing! After my husband shut off the A/C, I went crazy and opened the windows and turned on the oven out of spite, saying you like it hot here you go and yelling as well!! Yes, I was totally wrong, acting like an A$$h*le. And then I had to go to the bathroom and heard my friend’s husband say “I can’t take Sandi anymore and I am going, and kissed my husband, my mom and our family friend goodbye and left. So when I came out from the bathroom, they were gone, and I think you know the rest. So folks, that is what happened basically! Did I commit a crime, am I a terrible person? I know you don’t know me, like they do, but I don’t think they should ignore me for this many days! Ohh and believe me, they are not angels either!!
August 17, 20233 yr Ok now that we know what happened I'll be brutally honest with you like @Gus knows me to be lol and say that's a little extreme lol. However, emotions are amplified when we quit smoking and yours would be no exception. We have a letter to loved ones here somewhere that basically asks for forgiveness and understanding while you're going through your first month's of quitting. I'll look for it for you.
August 17, 20233 yr Ditto on @jillar’s post. Girl! WOW! Wayyyy over the top, but I’ve flown into rages like this before and know how you are feeling now. When a rage like this occurs your mental, emotional, and physical acumen are blind. Afterwards you can just feel rotten and be completely miserable. You’ve apologized and seem to be truly remorseful. It’s up to them. Write them a note along the lines of the one Jill shared. Words that will make them cry over it. But in the end it will be up to them on whether or not they will forgive. I do hope this works out for you. Oh and…. 😂😂😂
August 17, 20233 yr I can be a hot head Sandi so I can relate. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us. My husband said a very mild comment about my pasta gravy once *25 years ago, and I dumped the whole gigantic pot out the window or in the toilet-I can't remember. Yes, I'm a little sensitive . No, he never said anything about my cooking ever again! So if we are quick to react to begin with, not smoking is wayyyy worse. Forgive yourself. Your friends will come around❤️ Edited August 17, 20233 yr by robin0212
August 17, 20233 yr Author I know, I know folks, I made a mistake, I was wrong!!🤔 BUT, I didn't commit a crime! I'm hoping they get over it! And, the thing is, her husband has done things like that several years ago but didn't think he was wrong, but he can accuse me of being wrong. The pot calling the kettle black...ohhh and he didn't quit smoking at the time!!! 🙄
August 17, 20233 yr Oh sandi, although extreme for the cause in a couple of years from now you'll be laughing so hard about it you'll get tears in your eyes😂 Maybe just let it go and they will too? And if it was that easy to lose a friendship over then it wasn't much of a friendship......🤔
August 18, 20233 yr Author 6 minutes ago, jillar said: Oh sandi, although extreme for the cause in a couple of years from now you'll be laughing so hard about it you'll get tears in your eyes😂 Maybe just let it go and they will too? And if it was that easy to lose a friendship over then it wasn't much of a friendship......🤔 I am trying to let it go Jill, my friend on the other hand, and her husband are having a hard time letting it go. You are right, if it's that easy to lose a 53 year friendship, it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with. Thanks and I will keep you posted. At least I didn't go back to smoking!!👍
August 18, 20233 yr The weird thing is that it wasn't something they did, it was what your husband did so why are they so offended?!
August 18, 20233 yr Author 30 minutes ago, jillar said: The weird thing is that it wasn't something they did, it was what your husband did so why are they so offended?! Exactly Jill...that's why I can't figure them out. When I apologized to her, I even said I was mad at what my husband did. And she said, "I am still processing how I feel about your outburst and insanely rude and selfish behavior, very embarrassing in front of your mom and Rose" (that's our family friend). They are blowing this way out of proportion...totally ridiculous!!!!🙄🙄😬
August 18, 20233 yr Yea I agree @Sandi149, at the end of the day you were in your home with your family so it's not like you were in public and embarrassed her so if anything she should be ashamed at her behavior not yours lol
August 18, 20233 yr Do your friends know you've just quit smoking & that your emotions are bound to be all over the place? If they're never smokers then maybe not. Perhaps your hubby could call them and explain. That might help to allow them to understand that what they witnessed was not the real Sandi! Edited August 18, 20233 yr by Reciprocity
August 18, 20233 yr I am kind of an azz and would recomend somthing like this: Just tell your friend, the mismatched clothes her husband wore and the despicable shoes she was wearing really pushed you over the top. Tell them if they're ever invited over again, be sure to dress better.
August 18, 20233 yr Author 9 hours ago, Reciprocity said: Do your friends know you've just quit smoking & that your emotions are bound to be all over the place? If they're never smokers then maybe not. Perhaps your hubby could call them and explain. That might help to allow them to understand that what they witnessed was not the real Sandi! Yes, they know I quit and are very proud of me saying how great I'm doing. They were smokers like 40 years ago but never heavy smokers. Hopefully they will come around.
August 18, 20233 yr 1 hour ago, Sandi149 said: Yes, they know I quit and are very proud of me saying how great I'm doing. They were smokers like 40 years ago but never heavy smokers. Hopefully they will come around. Well there you go! Surely they will understand what you're going through and forgive and forget at some point, I would think. Perhaps they're just giving you some space for a bit. I'd be hopeful that they'll come around at some point
August 18, 20233 yr Author 11 minutes ago, Reciprocity said: Well there you go! Surely they will understand what you're going through and forgive and forget at some point, I would think. Perhaps they're just giving you some space for a bit. I'd be hopeful that they'll come around at some point She did text me yesterday that she is gonna call me today or tomorrow. I hope it's not to rehash what has gone on. And today is her husband's birthday, I am going to call him, hopefully he won't hang up on me. 🙄
August 18, 20233 yr Just now, Sandi149 said: She did text me yesterday that she is gonna call me today or tomorrow. I hope it's not to rehash what has gone on. And today is her husband's birthday, I am going to call him, hopefully he won't hang up on me. 🙄 I have a feeling it'll work out for you. I certainly hope so anyway!
August 18, 20233 yr Author 6 hours ago, Reciprocity said: I have a feeling it'll work out for you. I certainly hope so anyway! She called me and boy did she go off on me!!! Wow!!! I had to apologize again and she said her husband is livid!!
August 18, 20233 yr Oh my! Don't understand why her husband is livid when none of what went on was about him. He was just a bystander - WOW! Seems extreme to me. Hopefully they settle down at some point? Probably no point in calling the husband to wish him a Happy BD 🤐
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.