Ramona

Day 5 done.

Solid milestone, congrats!

Yes indeed. People think it's "dramatic" to use terms like "relapse" or "addict" when it comes to "just cigarettes." Just another ploy by this addiction to keep us hooked.

Gargle with salt water!!! I have a sore throat as well. I'm grateful it won't turn into bronchitis or pneumonia (as sore throats sometimes did when I was a smoker). And congrats on the belt! I want to take some sort of martial arts myself...haven't begun research yet. Keep on kickin' arse

Nice idea DD - easy to put together and looks great. I slacked on my costume this year. NEXT year I will start planning around the first of September (that's about the time I need).

I appreciate the small population. I also appreciate the low traffic. I feel close® to members here and I get a sense of accomplishment upon reading all the new posts (knowing I finished reading everything). Though, admittedly, I've very little internet forum experience to go on.

Major congrats on 2 weeks!!! Well done. I hope it STAYS breezy for you!!! No need to defend THAT - I think we'd all pick that option if it was available to us. For me, I smoked 15 ciggs a day for nearly 16 years and (even at 1 year quit) I simply haven't learned how to be a "model non-smoker" yet. I know I will get better and better as time goes on! How about "all of the above" RunFree?!?!?!?!? My poor, poor loved ones. :wub: :unsure:

Day 2 done. When I saw the schedule I was like: "wow, that's going to be soooo easy." Then, as I got tired on my 10th sit up, I realized - I haven't specifically worked abs in a long, long time. I think it was 15 years ago when I was a senior in high school! Feels good.

Lie: My family is telling me to smoke again!! Nobody supports me any way, so what's the point? Truth: This quit is FOR ME and ME ALONE. Only I understand my struggle and only I can overcome. Nobody owes me anything - I got myself into this mess and it's my job to get myself out.

Cutie! But trouble.

Sappy iz good. Syrup for pork n pancakes.

There's a very shy Boxer who spends his time @ my local fish store. Back in the day he would come over to me, sniff my hands (smoky) and back away. Yesterday he came over, sniffed my hands, and started licking the remnants of my breakfast sandwich & donut. These stupid little things are really the greatest things.

Quitters ARE smokin' hot! I agree with Joe there. We've got a swagger...a stature...it's pretty sweet. Pork - you're kickin' arse here. Standing strong in the face of potential temptation. Be proud for staying "quitter's fit" by reading the boards and educating yourself. Major congrats on 13 days of awesomeness. <3

Do what feels most genuine to you. Period.

My dentist is super-hot. Not sure that's necessarily a good thing.

We start first of November???

<3

I'm also ready. Also hate plank.

Still not smoking! Yeeeee-aaaaaaa.

Evelyn - As I've told you before: I'm with you in solidarity when it comes to being someone who suffers (deeply) from moods AND is trying to beat this addiction. I'm up and down and all around...BPD....cry, cry, cry. Howl, wail, and take no prisoners. FREAKshow. Trust me. That's why I've always failed at my quits in the past. Too much crying - frankly, too embarrassing. Now, at work, I'm just like: "yah, I quit smoking, I cry." What else can I do? This quit is too important to give-up because of my lack of humility. Your struggles have inspired me and given me the courage to march-on with my own quit. The details of your life which you're willing to share, I can not tell you how much I appreciate them. We all need to hear every experience to know we're not alone. Your success will be a great beacon for others who suffer from mental illness. The self-harm component to smoking (which nobody seems to adequately explain)!!!!! Well, it's a big part of smoking that we miss. After all, without cigarettes, "HOW CAN WE ACTIVELY AND WILLFULLY HARM OUR BODIES AND COMMIT OUR SLOW SUICIDE???????" This is a void for us. This is why our brain struggles to find creative new ways to hurt ourselves (ruin something beautiful about ourselves, cut an arm/leg, scream way too loudly for way too long, over exercise to a point of injury or slam head into wall). Or we can, of course, go back to inhaling noxious smoke. Most people will take one look at us and be like, "Wow, just smoke already!!!!!!!" Because most people don't understand how central this accomplishment is. These outsiders can't see how we won't be able to secure other successes until we secure THIS success. So do it Evelyn. Doubters be damned. If you have to start your own celebration thread for 10 months - - WHO FREAKING CARES? This is yours to accomplish. We're doing this thing to act as survivors & fighters - - - not victims. Hugs.

As always, you guys offer timely truths in response to my melt-down(s). And today? Better. It wasn't an objective, stand-alone brilliant day. But when held in comparison to yesterday's abject-flip-flap-freak-show-bursting-at-the-seams experience of childish desperation? It was GOOD. I feel pretty even-keeled. For Kendra and Pork - it's not this hard the whole time!!! Please don't get discouraged by my cravings. Months 8-10 were fairly freak-out free (if I remember correctly). Month 11 is testing me. (Thanks Sunnyside for making that seem more normal). Staying quit is the war. Cravings are the battles. The past couple days were pretty bloody.

I'll try this.

Experiencing intense emotional instability. Addiction wants me back in a big way. 10 more days till I get a year. I keep thinking: Once I get that year, I'm consciously returning to smoker status. I can no longer endure my sensitivity. I am volatile and needy. I don't want to interpret every aspect of my day in such a personal manner. I hate the extra 10 pounds. My coffee is lonely. My boyfriend is reaching his limit. I'm impatient. I'm bat shit. It's not worth it. Cigarettes make me more self-reliant. Plus, "F-you world" - I do not need to embrace life while the most egregious examples of humanity's horribleness pervade my every day. I have some sort of mood disorder and people with mood disorders simply DO NOT quit smoking. And then the f*cking other side: I'm doin' this thing. Boyfriend couldn't do it. I've made it my number one priority and I literally haven't had a single smoke in almost one full year. My lungs do not slow me down anymore. My skin looks smooth and feels soft. I feel "cozier." My car, my hair, my hands all smell GOOD. Winter is coming and who wants to smoke in the winter? I will be able to pay off my car with the money I save. When I apply for a new job the smoking aspect will not even be an aspect. Lots of people live happily without smokes. Food tastes incredible. And even though I am at times quite pathetic, I am also (conversely) more empowered and confident than I have been in over a decade of smoking. So confused.

Two YEARS! Rock-the-funk-on.

Dawg.