sgt.barney

Just don't lick the windows. Especially the display models. Easy Peasy

Come visit The Sarge ... he's got two of those, too. But no swing ... yet. Easy Peasy

"weird dreams" Aren't dreams, by definition, weird? Think about it. The Sarge can't remember a "normal dream" whatever that is. Last night he was back in high-school as his 44-year-old self, learning how to weld with Robin Williams as Popeye...in English Literature class. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. ??? Over. Easy Peasy

Pfffft. The Sarge loved Gangsta-Cris. Easy Peasy

And moobs! Easy Peasy

(But slow the fook down!) Easy Peasy

Can't believe The Sarge didn't do this one first - y'all would have expected this one, right? Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy

The Sarge concurs. He's said it before and he'll say it again: Without honesty, there is no quit. No quit. Nothing. Nada. Zippo. Zilch. Diddley-Squat. Easy Peasy

The Sarge got threatened with a ban in TheOtherPlace™ for his Speedo-Themed Profile Pic during the Great Profile Pic Protest of 2013. Watch yourselves, folks, jimmies will be rustled, knickers will be twisted ... Easy Peasy

What you did there, Jonny - The Sarge sees it. Easy Peasy

HOLY SNOWBALLS, BATMAN - She's alive!!! Easy Peasy EDIT: And apparently got a promotion - to Queen!

Easy Peasy

Surrender the Stripe. It will be waiting for you next week. There is no "problem" that smoking will fix. In fact, there is nothing at all that smoking will fix. You know this. Easy Peasy

The Sarge's favorite song for the past few years. He likes the live performance versions better than the studio recorded. They're more ... real. Waiting For My Real Life To Begin Colin Hay - some of you knew him as lead vocals for Men At Work in the 80's Any minute now, my ship is coming in I'll keep checking the horizon I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing Come crashing down down down, on me And you say, be still my love Open up your heart Let the light shine in But don't you understand I already have a plan I'm waiting for my real life to begin When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened But in my dreams, I slew the dragon And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again And you say, just be here now Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin Just let me throw one more dice I know that I can win I'm waiting for my real life to begin Any minute now, my ship is coming in I'll keep checking the horizon And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call It's gonna happen soon, soon, oh so very soon It's just that times are lean And you say, be still my love Open up your heart, let the light shine Don't you understand I already have a plan I'm waiting for my real life to begin On a clear day I can see, see for a long way On a clear day I can see, see for a long way. Easy Peasy

The Sarge is waiting on his Becky[2], too ... Both of you: What are you waiting for? Easy Peasy FOOTNOTES: [1] and some only have one nut [2] Mrs. Sarge

Jimmy's got the forearms of a seasoned, veteran, big wall climber. Do you pull yourself up El Cap in your spare time, for fun, Jimmy? Easy Peasy

The Doc and Impending Decrepitude convinced The Sarge that it was time. Easy Peasy

For those who were following The Sarge's own Sweet Potatoes thread in TheOtherPlace™, here's today's update: One month to go (local weather conditions mean they don't go in the ground until May 15th - possible overnight frost until about the 10th and a few extra days to be safe). They're progressing quite nicely: Many have already been pulled from the potatoes and are starting their own root system independent of the potato. This is what we want - they need roots to to into the ground. The rest will be pulled this weekend to give 'em sufficient time to grow roots before May 15th. Easy Peasy and Happy Gardening

Mrs. Sarge has no fear of heights. She just fears jumping out of planes. Funny that. Easy Peasy

The Sarge tries to let his fears guide his experiences. Do that which you are afraid to do. Easy Peasy

As a newly minted Mosquito Wing Private in the Easy Peasy Army, Juan, your first assignment is to memorize the Oath of The Easy Peasy. It's pretty simple and shouldn't take long to memorize. Ready? Here it is: " Easy Peasy " That's it.[1] Easy Peasy FOOTNOTES: [1] There will be a quiz next Monday.

The Sarge feels ya. He has a fear of heights, too. Nobody believes him, but he is.[1] He is. Easy Peasy FOOTNOTES: [1] It's part of what makes it fun - being scared. Like scary movies. Many of us want to be scared.

The Dino-Suit is currently awaiting its next victim. Easy Peasy