DenaliBlues

marrow

+1 to what Yoda and Jillar said. I don't mean to minimize what you are experiencing or how lousy you feel, @Linda. But the whole "I'm not strong enough" spiel is a false narrative. It's the addiction talking, causing you to view the world through a glass darkly. Because that's what addiction does to all of us. It skews our perceptions of the facts - facts like the 550 plus days you were smoke free. You did not dream those days! They are part of you. You built up all kinds of coping skills during that time. Those skills and that quitting muscle memory is still inside you.

"....I do not want to forfeit my life to submission & servitude..." Amen. Thanks for the reinforcement.

Hey, Linda. Thank you so much for writing about this. It does help to see your story here. I have felt on the knife edge of smoking lately, and your words help me feel less alone, less bonkers. Did smoking for the last few days fix anything in your life? Tell me it didn't. I need the reminder! We've all fallen off the wagon before, I lost a long quit myself once. All can offer is that when that happened, I dearly wish that I had not resigned myself to the addiction again. I wish I had shaken it off and climbed back on the wagon right away. You can still remember what it was like to be free, all those quit muscles you built since Jan 2021 are still strong. They will hold you up!

Not crazy or stupid. Just addicted and discouraged. Been there. I was skeptical of success stories, too. They felt unattainable. Some people found quitting to be joyful, less difficult than expected. I salute them. But my own quit, after 40+ years of heavy smoking, was not a happy scene of frolicking unicorns and carefree rainbows. It has been a grim, white-knuckled, miserable uphill climb out of a deep pit… and I am still climbing. I need lots of creative strategies, and I used NRT as a temporary crutch. It ain’t pretty. But I am doing it, one day at a time. So can you. Haven’t seen a success story out there yet that you can relate to? Okay, write your very own. And tell us about it along the way. If I learned anything from my past relapses it’s that shame is useless. It fed the addiction and sped my slide back down into the pit, time and again. Things started to change for me when I ditched the shame and, instead, got angry about being controlled by nicotine, and got and curious about what it would take for me to quit. What will your turning point be?

N O P E

Please don’t give up, @11better11. We are not failures, we just got caught in the trap of a very powerful addiction. One that flourishes in the dark, and makes us feel lousy. But you can break free. Let some light in. Shake off your slip like a polar bear shakes off water. Post here on the Train about what you are going through. (We’ve been there, too.) Read the resources, let them sink in. Take it one day - or one hour or one minute - at a time. You can do this.

swale

spools of thread

Escovitch Fish

Skewered the kebab.

spawn

Tag, you’re it.

Never tell secrets.

7. Make a mix

All-Purpose Flour

NOPE, not smoking!

Welcome aboard, @11better11. You came to the right place to get support for your quit. We’re a quirky bunch, but we all understand what it’s like to try to kick this addiction. You can do this. Take the daily NOPE pledge and ride this train to freedom!

NOPE

Glad you are on the mend, @Cbdave. Agreed that it’s getting scary out there again… I know a bunch of folks who have been laid low with this latest strain. So thankful you had quit. Take good care of yourself!

lutefisk