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RoryPlog

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About RoryPlog

  • Rank
    Ex-Cig-Cutioner

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  • Location
    The Great White North Eh!
  • Quit Date
    January 4, 2018

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  1. RoryPlog

    RoryPlog is 11 Months Smoke Free

    Well I can't believe it's right around the corner........1 year.....without a single puff...... I sadly didn't celebrate this monumental event. The moment past completely unremarked. I actually didn't notice the day until a few days had past. This a good thing, that I'm not hanging on every moment of quitting means that I am actually healing from this crazy journey. Life never stops regardless of quitting smoking, good days or bad. As such I have been focused on family health issues and putting mine on the backburner. So what does almost a year of quitting look like for me. It has passed remarkably fast. I have yet to feel much in the way of positive health benefits but have convinced myself that this is because I have no perspective. I can't compare pre quitting me to post quitting me as my memory doesn't really stretch back that far (I smoked 34 ? years). I don't think i snore quite as much as I used to, and now and again my lungs feel the strain a little less. This leaves me hopeful that time is on my side, that the further my quit day falls behind me, the more benefits I will receive health wise. Temptation---------The little demon does raise its ugly head now and again. I'll give you an example......My wife suffers some significant health issues from an accident. As a stress reliever I was watching a comic on Netflix (Dave Chappelle) and having a laugh. About halfway through I realized that his smoking/vaping was triggering a craving. I hadn't had a craving that made me take notice in a while, and it was an uncomfortable moment for me. I was a little torn that I wanted to continue watching (which I did), but I also didn't want to keep subjecting myself to the constant lighting up. Distraction------- I have played a ton of guitar in the last year, like 30-40 hours a month. It is my meditation, my distraction and my passion. I have fished more this year, and caught more decent fish than I have in years (like since I was a little kid). I also learned how to film (with a gopro and iPhone), edit (on an iPad) and record audio (both my guitar playing singing and voiceover) and put it all together on a series of YouTube videos. I put together videos of fishing and some videos of guitar playing that I'm pretty proud of. It has been a great hobby to learn. It scratches my creative itch and makes a great record of family, friends, events and my musical journey. Lastly, I was presented with a beautiful granddaughter last month and I have been enjoying my time with her. The Christmas season is upon us. This will bring lots of happiness in my clan, but with it there will also be the stress of organizing all the events and of course the history of close people being lost over the years. I mention this to remind myself that smoking will not change anything for me, and by extension will not change anything for you folks. There will be celebrations that will not be any better if we smoke. There will be a few sad moments where our friends and family that aren't with us anymore will weigh us down, and smoking will not change how we feel. A year - - - - That was my first goal - - - - A Year - - - - - I still have a hard time envisioning myself as a non-smoker. Maybe, my friends, consider this - - - Though I may not view myself as a never smoker, my granddaughter will never know me as a smoker. This is the most positive role model moment I've had in long time. A YEAR -------- I'm not sure what changes I have to look forward to between year one and year two. That said, I'm sure happy to be looking forward to the ride without the habit tied like a weight around my ankle. I have gained time with my family and friends. I have gained time to pursue my passions. I can find no downside to being a non smoker. There is nothing in my life that would be improved if I lit a smoke and started back down the road of smoking and trying to quit again. Nothing, no upside, not one reason to light up again.........EXCEPT .............now and again a little war happens inside my head...Now and then the habit sneaks around looking for a weakness, an opening to say 'just a puff'. It takes me by surprise. Most times a little shock, a laugh, I tell myself 'no sir....not you again...you can crawl back in your hole'......Then its gone......for a time............Be aware always. A Year is one puff away from vanishing forever. The Lido deck sounded so far away just a short time ago. It's right around the corner now and I'm taking it one step at a time the same as I have since day one. Peace Rory
  2. RoryPlog

    The good, the bad and the ugly

    Actually thats a great question thank you. It's harder and easier if that makes sense. I feel as though I run out of air a little quicker than I used to. Strangely I have had to re-learn some techniques for singing. It seems as though I have more power, and a little more range than I used to. That said, I now how to be a little more conscious of pitch and how much 'volume' I am sending towards a microphone. The clarity of my voice is much better even after only 9 months of no smoking. The other good thing is I don't seem to 'blow out' my voice from drinking whiskey and smoking a thousand cigarettes. I really appreciate you asking this question. It has helped me add another point to the "Good" section of my post. :-) Peace R
  3. I'm 9 months 21 days from my last puff. I smoked a pack a day for 34 years. I did the work. You folks (and QSMB) were my crutch, my parole officer, my defense attorney and my Mom, but I did the work. The Good I haven't smoked. That statement still seems a bit unreal. I haven't smoked 8,251 cigarettes. That's a milestone that blows me away. I don't really crave very often. It doesn't seem like there are very many times when smoking is even part of my life anymore. I also have my first grandbaby and I'm really excited that i won't smoke and stink around her. No coughing anymore. I feel like I really didn't cough that much after I quit. The Bad Occasionally I put myself in familiar situations that have an unfamiliar feel to them. I played a gig in a room where people were smoking both cigarettes and pot (I live in Canada and it's now legal here). Trying to sing was a little rough with smoke in the air, it had been a long time since I played anywhere you could smoke inside. I'm still not comfortable with all moments (family, work) and occasionally it crosses my mind that I am missing something. Also, at work occasionally my smoke break is interrupted by my not smoking. I haven't really had much in the way of giant improvements in my health. I think I breath a little easier. The Ugly I have a little blockage in the airways running up my neck. It's uncomfortable sometimes, and pisses me off other times. It makes me mad as it wouldn't be there if I'd have quit one of the many other times I'd tried. I think i developed some anxiety since I quit. I'm a little unsure of what it is or how to properly to describe it to a physician. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed that I may have a stroke or heart attack. My balance gets a little funky, and my migraines have continued. I had an odd migraine a day or two ago that as new as I can tell was an ocular migraine. This was new and a little scary but I suppose just part of growing older. I have moments of balance issues and this is disconcerting. Just seems like for no reason I feel a little like I'm gonna fall. I don't really remember this from before I quit smoking. I'm sure that I quit way later than I should have, but I quit. I'm done and thats a win. I keep tabs on all you folks so don't go getting in any trouble. Peace R
  4. RoryPlog

    Hello!

    Keep on truckin' Roopy, glad to see your still riding the train.
  5. RoryPlog

    RoryPlog is 7 Months Smoke Free

    Well folks, again I appreciate your congratulations. A little late in replying. Summer, fishing, baby showers for my soon to be first grandbaby. Busy for all the right reasons and feeling lucky to have a little bit of extra time. The little app that I use to keep track of my quit says I'm coming up on 8 months and that I haven't smoked 6515 smokes. Those are pretty awesome numbers. I started playing guitar a little more, I have fished like crazy and I'm growing a beard. Feels all pretty good. Be at peace folks, and be happy in your quit. R
  6. Life is what happens when adults make plans. First and foremost I am happy to be riding a successful quit for 5 months and change. No harder, or easier than any of the rest of us, my quit has grown into something I am very proud of. Chapter 1 - Trials and Tribulations: I can’t quit – I can try to quit but I will probably fail – I quit, but please don’t smoke around me – Quitting is too hard To say that I understand why this quit is still going would be a lie. I have done the same, and different things this time around that don’t add up to success. I read, and wrote on the forums, I ate (and ate), I avoided situations that would encourage my habit. I struggle, sometimes through each minute, but I persist. Chapter 2 - The repugnant smell of a quit about to go bad (No Man’s Land): I should just go hang out outside with the smokers (otherwise I’m missing something fun) – I can drink, maybe just try one toke Dancing on the head of a pin, a slippery slope, I have slid into the lion’s den (the smoking pit). I have done the impossible and not indulged. I convince myself I am building a better me. The celebrations are further apart now. All of the support system is stretched thin. The great moments that were shared, one day, one month, just don't seem to have any joy. Chapter 3 – That’s the Ballgame: You can probably have just one - Here hold this - Don't you miss the smell - I can't believe you have lasted this long Innocently standing watching friends play a familiar game, in a familiar place, with familiar smells and WHAM she hands me a lit smoke to ‘hold’ while she goes up to bat. I can see the crossroads that Robert Johnson stood at. The wily old gent in his fancy suit, laughing while offering everything young Robert every thing he ever wished for. I laughed nervously and stomped the temptation to bits beneath my feet. Though I passed this test it gave me long pause for thought. I haven’t written the next chapter yet. The working title is – Six months is only half a year. My health is no better, and no worse. My weight has normalized. The demons running around in my head have been subdued lately. Summer time is always a flurry of activity. I have campfires to play guitar at, lakes to fish, and songs to write. I feel a bit like I have an open wound now and then. I pick at the scab of being an ex-smoker. When I do the wound underneath is still fresh, it still bleeds a little. It’s more of a dull ache when I get a craving, they are not hard to fight off. I still argue with myself now and again that I was a happier person as a smoker. I know this is foolish, but can’t help myself. You are all rockstars for continuing to support and help those of us still struggling. Peace R
  7. RoryPlog

    RoryPlog is 5 Month's Smoke Free

    Lmao. I’m not sure I can play blackbird
  8. RoryPlog

    RoryPlog is 5 Month's Smoke Free

    You all rock thank you so much. Five months, five months without a smoke. My little app thing said I hadn’t smoked 4,000 smokes not long ago. Four - thousand I’m almost not part of the non smoking culture now. I don’t get up and take a walk outside every hour just to see what I’m missing. I starting taking pictures, and video, and fishing more. I play guitar almost every day. Life has thrown a few giant left hooks at me in these five months. Hard, stare at yourself in the mirror kind of punches. Sometimes I catch myself looking over my shoulder to see if a craving is coming. My heart pounds, my legs twitch, there is a migraine in the back of my head that thankfully doesn’t seem to surface. My appetite is off, but my weight has remained consistent. Friends, without forgetting that every moment is a chance for me to fail, I feel like ‘I quit’ smoking. Let me just remark on the distinction, I don’t feel so much like I am quitting. I’m not obsessing about smoking. I just look at a smoker, and think I used to do that. I smell it and think that’s what smoking smells like. This for me is new territory. The fragile balance of ‘no mans land’. I’m sorry that I don’t come here often and try to help. For me lately, I’ve just not had my mind steered towards smoking and needing to fill the void. Funny when the old Q board died, I think my ability to go back through my posts through 10 years of quitting died with it. Along with that my compulsion and obsession were muted. I need you folks to be here please. It’s horribly selfish, but when I have a moment this is my haven. You all are what makes the chaos of quitting bearable, manageable and you bring just that little bit of hope that gets me through. Thank you you all again. Your in my thoughts. Peace Rory
  9. RoryPlog

    2018 Quitters Check In

    Doing good. Sorry I haven’t been around much, but want you all to know my quit, and you folks mean a lot to me. Keep The Quit peace R
  10. RoryPlog

    Roopy is 3 Months Quit Today!!

    Congrats Roopy
  11. RoryPlog

    RoryPlog is 4 Months Quit Today!!

    Feeling the love. Thank you all very much. I am doing really well. The moments of crave are farther apart, sometimes days. I am not obsessing like previous attempts. My health is slowly improving. I have been checked head to toe, stress tested, arteries ultrasounded. I have some blockage, but as long as I stay off the smokes my doctors have told me I won’t have to take pills or have any repairs done for the near future. This is huge news. I sadly will admit, since I quit I felt my health sliding, my energy has disappeared, I was afraid that my quit was too late. I know I smoked too long. I am happy that for the time being my body will begin to mend and the smoking seems to be fading into a nasty memory. Your constant support is huge, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Rory
  12. RoryPlog

    RoryPlog is 3 Months Quit Today!!

    Thank all for your continued support. Still got this. NOPE R
  13. RoryPlog

    RoryPlog is 3 Months Quit Today!!

    Thank you all so much. Wow, three months. I just might survive this after all :-)

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