RoryPlog

Great move coming here first. It might not matter to you right this minute, but I really love no be a smoker right now. Right now I feel ok Right now I can resist the urge to smoke I'm glad you came here first, thats a great move right now.

Shameless plug

Thank you all.. Been a really long time since I came for a visit. My quit is going great, and with the exception of the global chaos that's going, most things are going well. Most of my health issues have slowed down to a dull roar. I am actually feeling a significant difference in my breathing and how much breathe I have, and I will never take that for granted again. I wish you all health and happiness. Peace, Rory

Gentle wave at any of you Old-Phartes that are still around.

Nope :-) Still and really proud of it today. So proud, that I remembered about all you folks that helped along the way. Thank you all

I think the logo is awesome. Great work

Del - you're in a terrible spot. 2 cigs is a relapse. The cravings will eventually become something that don't seem so overwhelming, but only if you don't never have another puff. Take a breath, remember the things that helped you decide to quit. If you don't smoke then smoking can't hurt your health any further. Smoking can't rob you have energy if you don't do it. Sleeping is good for your body, and you can deal with weight as you get further away from your quit date. I don't remember any magic formula that made any of the crappy part of quitting go away. It sucks, and the only thing that actually makes it go away is time. You've made a great decision to quit, it's ok to want to snap, freak out, and stamp your feet, but if you take a puff it all starts again. This can be a great place to get support when everyone around you seems not to care. Take a breath del and be at peace as best you can. R

The cravings/triggers are starting to become just a dull roar now for me 'most of the time'. Now and again a 'moment' crave or a 'stress' trigger will still grab my attention a little more. I don't really understand why some of them will stand out or become something I have to 'fight off'. Either way the tactics and strategies that I have used since I started my quit, get me though all the moments. Take a breath........address what is really going on "I want to smoke because I used to be addicted to smoking - now I don't smoke"..........distract myself from the moment 'grab a guitar and play a few licks'. Peace Rory

Saz thats super cool thanks for the link. Now I have a whole tour of shops to hit :-)

Theres a guitar store somewhere in your neck of the woods (Norm's Rare Guitars) thats always been on my bucketlist. One day I'll get down that way :-)

Well friends, I have become one of them. One of what you ask? One of those folks about to rant about smokers :-) I took a quick little trip down to the Dominican Republic where I got to take in some vitamin sea (see what I did there :-)). I walked a ton, and checked out as much of the local fare as I could. I was astonished that while eating supper there were people smoking at the tables all around me. While I was playing guitar a couple of nights at local bars, people were smoking two feet away from me. Imagine, while I was trying to entertain these wonderful folks, there was a grey haze three feet from the ceiling. Everywhere I went, the beach, the bars, the pool, the ....... everywhere were people smoking three to five cigarettes an hour. It was overwhelming. Not in the way of "wow do I need a smoke', it was more like 'I'm dying a little every time I breathe. For nearly a week after my little adventure, I felt that I was trying to soft cough up something in my lungs that I hadn't experienced in a long while. I'm taking this as a hugely positive experience. I played (guitar and sang) at two bars while I was in the Dominican and I had a blast. I enjoyed the local people, the beaches and bars, and all the expats that I got to meet. I also didn't smoke. Not a single puff. Not only that, but I didn't obsess about smoking at any point. All the smokers around me, and all the smoking triggers and situations, yet it wasn't an issue for more than a fleeting moment. My journey continues and I appreciate the friendship and support all you folks offer Peace Rory

Hey Sslip, late just means the party keeps going. Thanks for being part of this crazy adventure.

You guys are all awesome. I wanna thank you all so much for your patience, tolerance, enthusiasm and kind support. Well, I did it. I checked my ‘app’ quite a bit over the holidays as my quitversary was approaching. I had a great Christmas holiday, surrounded by family and friends. I did it all without a single puff. I am really quite proud of myself, and really thankful for the help along the way. I wish you all great success in your quits, and peace in your lives. Rory

Congrats Wren. We got this :-)

Well I can't believe it's right around the corner........1 year.....without a single puff...... I sadly didn't celebrate this monumental event. The moment past completely unremarked. I actually didn't notice the day until a few days had past. This a good thing, that I'm not hanging on every moment of quitting means that I am actually healing from this crazy journey. Life never stops regardless of quitting smoking, good days or bad. As such I have been focused on family health issues and putting mine on the backburner. So what does almost a year of quitting look like for me. It has passed remarkably fast. I have yet to feel much in the way of positive health benefits but have convinced myself that this is because I have no perspective. I can't compare pre quitting me to post quitting me as my memory doesn't really stretch back that far (I smoked 34 ? years). I don't think i snore quite as much as I used to, and now and again my lungs feel the strain a little less. This leaves me hopeful that time is on my side, that the further my quit day falls behind me, the more benefits I will receive health wise. Temptation---------The little demon does raise its ugly head now and again. I'll give you an example......My wife suffers some significant health issues from an accident. As a stress reliever I was watching a comic on Netflix (Dave Chappelle) and having a laugh. About halfway through I realized that his smoking/vaping was triggering a craving. I hadn't had a craving that made me take notice in a while, and it was an uncomfortable moment for me. I was a little torn that I wanted to continue watching (which I did), but I also didn't want to keep subjecting myself to the constant lighting up. Distraction------- I have played a ton of guitar in the last year, like 30-40 hours a month. It is my meditation, my distraction and my passion. I have fished more this year, and caught more decent fish than I have in years (like since I was a little kid). I also learned how to film (with a gopro and iPhone), edit (on an iPad) and record audio (both my guitar playing singing and voiceover) and put it all together on a series of YouTube videos. I put together videos of fishing and some videos of guitar playing that I'm pretty proud of. It has been a great hobby to learn. It scratches my creative itch and makes a great record of family, friends, events and my musical journey. Lastly, I was presented with a beautiful granddaughter last month and I have been enjoying my time with her. The Christmas season is upon us. This will bring lots of happiness in my clan, but with it there will also be the stress of organizing all the events and of course the history of close people being lost over the years. I mention this to remind myself that smoking will not change anything for me, and by extension will not change anything for you folks. There will be celebrations that will not be any better if we smoke. There will be a few sad moments where our friends and family that aren't with us anymore will weigh us down, and smoking will not change how we feel. A year - - - - That was my first goal - - - - A Year - - - - - I still have a hard time envisioning myself as a non-smoker. Maybe, my friends, consider this - - - Though I may not view myself as a never smoker, my granddaughter will never know me as a smoker. This is the most positive role model moment I've had in long time. A YEAR -------- I'm not sure what changes I have to look forward to between year one and year two. That said, I'm sure happy to be looking forward to the ride without the habit tied like a weight around my ankle. I have gained time with my family and friends. I have gained time to pursue my passions. I can find no downside to being a non smoker. There is nothing in my life that would be improved if I lit a smoke and started back down the road of smoking and trying to quit again. Nothing, no upside, not one reason to light up again.........EXCEPT .............now and again a little war happens inside my head...Now and then the habit sneaks around looking for a weakness, an opening to say 'just a puff'. It takes me by surprise. Most times a little shock, a laugh, I tell myself 'no sir....not you again...you can crawl back in your hole'......Then its gone......for a time............Be aware always. A Year is one puff away from vanishing forever. The Lido deck sounded so far away just a short time ago. It's right around the corner now and I'm taking it one step at a time the same as I have since day one. Peace Rory

Keep well

Actually thats a great question thank you. It's harder and easier if that makes sense. I feel as though I run out of air a little quicker than I used to. Strangely I have had to re-learn some techniques for singing. It seems as though I have more power, and a little more range than I used to. That said, I now how to be a little more conscious of pitch and how much 'volume' I am sending towards a microphone. The clarity of my voice is much better even after only 9 months of no smoking. The other good thing is I don't seem to 'blow out' my voice from drinking whiskey and smoking a thousand cigarettes. I really appreciate you asking this question. It has helped me add another point to the "Good" section of my post. :-) Peace R

I'm 9 months 21 days from my last puff. I smoked a pack a day for 34 years. I did the work. You folks (and QSMB) were my crutch, my parole officer, my defense attorney and my Mom, but I did the work. The Good I haven't smoked. That statement still seems a bit unreal. I haven't smoked 8,251 cigarettes. That's a milestone that blows me away. I don't really crave very often. It doesn't seem like there are very many times when smoking is even part of my life anymore. I also have my first grandbaby and I'm really excited that i won't smoke and stink around her. No coughing anymore. I feel like I really didn't cough that much after I quit. The Bad Occasionally I put myself in familiar situations that have an unfamiliar feel to them. I played a gig in a room where people were smoking both cigarettes and pot (I live in Canada and it's now legal here). Trying to sing was a little rough with smoke in the air, it had been a long time since I played anywhere you could smoke inside. I'm still not comfortable with all moments (family, work) and occasionally it crosses my mind that I am missing something. Also, at work occasionally my smoke break is interrupted by my not smoking. I haven't really had much in the way of giant improvements in my health. I think I breath a little easier. The Ugly I have a little blockage in the airways running up my neck. It's uncomfortable sometimes, and pisses me off other times. It makes me mad as it wouldn't be there if I'd have quit one of the many other times I'd tried. I think i developed some anxiety since I quit. I'm a little unsure of what it is or how to properly to describe it to a physician. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed that I may have a stroke or heart attack. My balance gets a little funky, and my migraines have continued. I had an odd migraine a day or two ago that as new as I can tell was an ocular migraine. This was new and a little scary but I suppose just part of growing older. I have moments of balance issues and this is disconcerting. Just seems like for no reason I feel a little like I'm gonna fall. I don't really remember this from before I quit smoking. I'm sure that I quit way later than I should have, but I quit. I'm done and thats a win. I keep tabs on all you folks so don't go getting in any trouble. Peace R

Keep on truckin' Roopy, glad to see your still riding the train.

Well folks, again I appreciate your congratulations. A little late in replying. Summer, fishing, baby showers for my soon to be first grandbaby. Busy for all the right reasons and feeling lucky to have a little bit of extra time. The little app that I use to keep track of my quit says I'm coming up on 8 months and that I haven't smoked 6515 smokes. Those are pretty awesome numbers. I started playing guitar a little more, I have fished like crazy and I'm growing a beard. Feels all pretty good. Be at peace folks, and be happy in your quit. R

Great video Thank you

Life is what happens when adults make plans. First and foremost I am happy to be riding a successful quit for 5 months and change. No harder, or easier than any of the rest of us, my quit has grown into something I am very proud of. Chapter 1 - Trials and Tribulations: I can’t quit – I can try to quit but I will probably fail – I quit, but please don’t smoke around me – Quitting is too hard To say that I understand why this quit is still going would be a lie. I have done the same, and different things this time around that don’t add up to success. I read, and wrote on the forums, I ate (and ate), I avoided situations that would encourage my habit. I struggle, sometimes through each minute, but I persist. Chapter 2 - The repugnant smell of a quit about to go bad (No Man’s Land): I should just go hang out outside with the smokers (otherwise I’m missing something fun) – I can drink, maybe just try one toke Dancing on the head of a pin, a slippery slope, I have slid into the lion’s den (the smoking pit). I have done the impossible and not indulged. I convince myself I am building a better me. The celebrations are further apart now. All of the support system is stretched thin. The great moments that were shared, one day, one month, just don't seem to have any joy. Chapter 3 – That’s the Ballgame: You can probably have just one - Here hold this - Don't you miss the smell - I can't believe you have lasted this long Innocently standing watching friends play a familiar game, in a familiar place, with familiar smells and WHAM she hands me a lit smoke to ‘hold’ while she goes up to bat. I can see the crossroads that Robert Johnson stood at. The wily old gent in his fancy suit, laughing while offering everything young Robert every thing he ever wished for. I laughed nervously and stomped the temptation to bits beneath my feet. Though I passed this test it gave me long pause for thought. I haven’t written the next chapter yet. The working title is – Six months is only half a year. My health is no better, and no worse. My weight has normalized. The demons running around in my head have been subdued lately. Summer time is always a flurry of activity. I have campfires to play guitar at, lakes to fish, and songs to write. I feel a bit like I have an open wound now and then. I pick at the scab of being an ex-smoker. When I do the wound underneath is still fresh, it still bleeds a little. It’s more of a dull ache when I get a craving, they are not hard to fight off. I still argue with myself now and again that I was a happier person as a smoker. I know this is foolish, but can’t help myself. You are all rockstars for continuing to support and help those of us still struggling. Peace R

Lmao. I’m not sure I can play blackbird

You all rock thank you so much. Five months, five months without a smoke. My little app thing said I hadn’t smoked 4,000 smokes not long ago. Four - thousand I’m almost not part of the non smoking culture now. I don’t get up and take a walk outside every hour just to see what I’m missing. I starting taking pictures, and video, and fishing more. I play guitar almost every day. Life has thrown a few giant left hooks at me in these five months. Hard, stare at yourself in the mirror kind of punches. Sometimes I catch myself looking over my shoulder to see if a craving is coming. My heart pounds, my legs twitch, there is a migraine in the back of my head that thankfully doesn’t seem to surface. My appetite is off, but my weight has remained consistent. Friends, without forgetting that every moment is a chance for me to fail, I feel like ‘I quit’ smoking. Let me just remark on the distinction, I don’t feel so much like I am quitting. I’m not obsessing about smoking. I just look at a smoker, and think I used to do that. I smell it and think that’s what smoking smells like. This for me is new territory. The fragile balance of ‘no mans land’. I’m sorry that I don’t come here often and try to help. For me lately, I’ve just not had my mind steered towards smoking and needing to fill the void. Funny when the old Q board died, I think my ability to go back through my posts through 10 years of quitting died with it. Along with that my compulsion and obsession were muted. I need you folks to be here please. It’s horribly selfish, but when I have a moment this is my haven. You all are what makes the chaos of quitting bearable, manageable and you bring just that little bit of hope that gets me through. Thank you you all again. Your in my thoughts. Peace Rory

Doing good. Sorry I haven’t been around much, but want you all to know my quit, and you folks mean a lot to me. Keep The Quit peace R