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Quit Train®, A Quit Smoking Support Group

PinkyPromise

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About PinkyPromise

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday March 4

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    * Florida, USA *
  • Quit Date
    October 16, 2017

Recent Profile Visitors

172 profile views
  1. Fatty McFat Buffet Pants

    I have been on an absolute rampage with my food consumption the last month... I mean, LAWD! I'll get it under control here soon. I haven't actually hopped on a scale, so I don't know how much weight I have gained, but I can still manage to roll into my jeans if I do some jumping around and stretching and such... and walk funny, and have some muffin top. Bottom line is they can still at least go on I don't eat a whole lot at Thanksgiving, truthfully -- I just don't like most traditional food... like turkey or stuffing... and sweet potatoes with marshmallows?? Ew sick!
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  3. I feel like... like what JetBlack was looking for here was more or less "why is it harder for some people than other people". And for those who have a more difficult time, what's the most helpful thing to get through/push through the most difficult days. I have had a few really tough days here the last few days. I think I may have gone about this whole situation all wrong -- nevertheless, here I am not smoking lol I was reading about cloves today. That's what I smoked -- not because I ever had some delusion that they weren't as bad as regular cigarettes, but rather it was just because I liked them. I hated the taste of regular cigarettes the few times I'd tried them and they choked me up too, they just were not at all an enjoyable smoke to me. They smelled bad too. Cloves are about 60% tobacco and 40% crushed clove so the taste, feel, smell, it's all entirely different. I read a few articles today that suggested they actually had higher levels of nicotine and in some ways are even worse for you than basic cigarettes. I don't know if that's accurate -- they were just blog type articles but they did cite the CDC in a few places. I just need to read and re-read information about how bad smoking is for me. It helps me keep my head about it all when I'm dying to walk out the door and buy "just one pack". I don't know why some people can walk away with less withdrawals than others. I don't know why some people only suffer for a week or 2 and some seem to linger in a crappy place for months. For myself -- I should have gone cold turkey. I do know several people who successfully quit smoking by leveling down their nicotine and using a vape. The main difference between what they did and what I did was the length of time. They had a month or so of co-smoking while vaping, weaning off the smokes, then started with a much higher level of nicotine than I did and stuck with that level for weeks or months before stepping down. It was a super, super gradual quit. I mean, I don't think any of them (aside from my Dad & myself) went into it with the intention of quitting -- it was just the idea that vaping was less problematic, health wise, than smoking cigarettes. Once they started slowly stepping down nicotine it became a new goal to quit all together. So, there's that. They didn't have jack for withdrawals until they got to the very, very end. At that point it was really minimal, just not that huge a deal. My husband never even said a word, he just stopped one day. Meanwhile I have been over here just raging. My hardest part was the week leading up to dropping cigarettes because I was used to smoking 12-15 a ay and I lowered it to 5-6 -- so I'm walking around having withdrawals like literally half the time I'm awake. Then no more cigarettes and only 6mg of nicotine, that took at least 7-10 days to get used to and lemme say this: It sucked. The step down to 3 mg wasn't difficult or painful at all, no withdrawals to speak of. Then I went to 0 last Thursday and this entire week has sucked -- every single day. Every day I say "Ok, if I feel like this tomorrow I will go buy a pack." -- hoping I don't feel like this tomorrow -- yet I do, so I say it again. Today has been LESS painful than yesterday -- for the very first time, but it hasn't been easy. If I was going to "slow down" smoking and use a vape for the next year, fine, that probably wouldn't have been the major nightmare that this has been -- but I have done the condensed version so it's been nothing but a long ass, miserable prolonged 6 week succession of withdrawals. Is this how people using the patch and the gum feel as well? I mean -- if I HAD stopped cold turkey, would I still be fighting my quit like this a month later? Can anyone even accurately answer that? I don't know if any of this has jack to do with anything else -- maybe my vaping and stepping down helped make this easier -- maybe the withdrawals lasted longer but haven't been as acute. Maybe it kept me from smoking. Maybe CT would have been easier -- so that seems like I'm saying CT is easy. I don't think it is. So, I feel like my entire reply here is utterly pointless and I'm gonna click submit anyway and go finish making my friggin acorn squash.
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  7. Flights and condo are booked....

    https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g34420-d5617972-Reviews-Doreen_s_Cup_of_Joe-Marco_Island_Florida.html
  8. Flights and condo are booked....

    So Joe -- this is your first Gulf side vacation? You're going to love it; the water is more clear in the gulf than the Atlantic unless you get way south... into the Keys. The sand is whiter and softer as well... less waves. I think you meant Irma, not Isabel... unless somethings happened during my quit funk and I missed it all together LOL Most everything is back to normal, pre-Irma condition down here. It took longer is some areas than for others and here in my part we still have a crap ton of debris that hasn't been cleared because of the trouble the city is having trying to find safe places to dump and burn it... it's evidently costing a fortune. Who knew.. ANYWAY -- there's a cute local breakfast deli place there that everyone loves. The name is fitting for this forum as well: Doreen's Cup of Joe Have a great time, enjoy our sunshine, plenty to go around
  9. Fatty McFat Buffet Pants

    Sarge -- the ONLY way you'll see me running is if there's a bear chasing me. They actually do live in my neighborhood so it COULD happen... but highly doubtful I wanna go with Jet's suggestion that indeed the jeans shrunk in the dryer. Also, leggings and pajama pants are a perfectly good daily uniform for a stay at home mom... let's just hope I don't need to leave the house. Listen to this -- I watch Hulu, they have 6 second commercial breaks. During the commercial breaks the last few nights I have done crunches -- like, half assed crunches, but still. I feel I'm making real progress here.
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  12. I Didn't Click "Send"

    "Hey, buy me a pack of smokes on your way home..." "Stop by the smoke shop and bring me a pack?" "Rough day, can you grab me some smokes?" I typed those out in my head, to my husband, over and over this afternoon, but I never sent them. I haven't had a cigarette since October 16th. No nicotine since last Thursday and here we are on Tuesday and I'm still hyper obsessed with cravings and withdrawals. Seems they have been lasting all morning for several hours the last few days -- just relentless. Whoever made the video claiming that after the 3rd day without nicotine your little cravings will "happen 3 times a day lasting 5 minutes each" was entirely and utterly hallucinating -- or straight up lying. Still coughing a little, nothing productive but it won't go away. I've put on probably 10 pounds in the last month now and all for the sake of feeling every bit as crappy today as I did the first few. On a positive note: donated ALL the rest of the Halloween candy to deployed troops so several purposes were served... soldiers get a little treat, daughter learns about giving thanks & showing appreciation, none of that stuff can make my ass any bigger now. 3 cheers for tomorrow not sucking as badly as today did.
  13. Sunday night... and I'd love a smoke :(

    I'm on it. Made it through another day now Bring it on, tomorrow!
  14. Sunday night... and I'd love a smoke :(

    This morning -- ALL morning has been the same as yesterday morning. It's nearly 1, my time. It doesn't feel like it'll stop. Eyes open at 5:30. I laid there until 6:30 when the kid's woke up. Tried to fall back asleep so I didn't have to think about it. Made my way through getting the kids dressed, breakfast, backpacks, papers signed, etc, etc, etc... 7:55, out to meet the buses. I don't know if it is withdrawals or cravings or even what the difference between the 2 is. I just know I'm ******* tired of it. I'm tired of feeling tired. I'm tired of SO many of my awake moments being completely consumed by focusing everything I've got on this internal dialogue about why I do not want or need to smoke. I'm tired of just doing mindless crap like laundry and cleaning and things I don't even have to think about doing -- all the while going over and over about how much better off I am for quitting. I'm tired of feeling anxiety. I'm tired of being pissed off at my fat friend for saying "Ohhh your poor lungs" to me -- my eyes rolled so hard I almost sprained one. I'm angry that she just had to tell me her stupid "how I quit after my first puff when I was 15" story. I think I need Doreen's punch pillow. This shouldn't be this way. It shouldn't actually physically make my chest tight, trying to fight smoking. It still isn't an "SOS" -- but I can say this -- I can't live like this for a whole lot longer. And now I'm just angry.
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