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Thank you for the reminder @notsmokinjoI told myself it would be small potatoes and when I woke up this AM the cap had slipped off and the hair was piled inside and still coming out. So - bald and beautiful it will be. I just need to figure out if I'll use a #2 guard or a #1?? Any suggestions would be welcome! I've already taken a few old t-shirts and cut them off right under the arms and learned to make a turban with them. I put that one on this AM and seem to work pretty darn good!!

Bald is beautiful.. it says I'm a fighter. It says I am strong. It says I have untold power and strength.... And yet it's still daunting when it happens, I was fine when the hair fell out had one if the kids I tutored buzz it off for me but the day I wiped my eyes and I was left with a handful of lashes, I broke....cried and cried and cried. Not sure what it's like where you are but over hear we have free wigs , if you want to go that way. Check with the support groups they will know what is out there. Just think, often it grows back differently, and you will have virgin hair again, never coloured or permed. Mine came back darker and curlier. Completely different.

Round one complete, and it's Team Deadpool's hellkatbaby for the win!!! Ugh on the hair loss, but as everyone has said, it will grow back. It will be like that really short haircut you get and then aren't so sure about for a while, but it all works out. In the meantime, you are going to ROCK the bald and beautiful and will probably end up becoming a famous turban designer and we can all say we knew you when. Speaking of rocking it, Tank is owning those devil ears and what a sweet baby smile he has. Luna is gorgeous, too -- that's a beautiful pair of pups you have taking care of you. Time for more rib bones. Yoga on the beach sounds like a perfect way to relax, so hopefully your docs will give you the go ahead. Otherwise, maybe that group has other meet ups that you can attend until you're beach yoga ready.

Their names are Tank (the rottie) and he's almost 6 and then our Big Booty Girl Luna who's almost 5 - we think she's part kangaroo part mastiff lol!! She really wants to help but she has no thumbs!! I know the hair will grow back but it's such a big step to think about shaving it just yet since the top is all still there. However the slightest movement or touch and the rest of the in- between layers are just all over my clothes, the floor - just everywhere which is why I just went to the shoulders and tucked it under the cap for now. I figured if it was still coming out like this over the next few days I'll go ahead and just have it buzzed off. I did some googling and found a place 5 min from me called 'in the pink' and they will do it at no cost. They also offer free yoga classes for cancer patients and survivors every Wednesday at the beach so I'll check with my Dr. to see if I can get the OK for something like that. It would be nice to get to socialize a bit and meet some new people who 'get it'.

They are so cute. Love the devil horns. My Angel needs those. She looked like an Angel but I think she is the instigator in my pack. One looks like a big guy. How old are they? What are their names. You said they have been out of the crate. I don't think I will ever be able to take mine out of the crates. Those pups are the best medicine for you. Don't worry about the hair loss. My friends, who lost hers, during treatment, had it grow back much thicker and curlier. It was beautiful. Now is the time to rest and mentally prepare for the next battle. You are doing great.

Ugh it's happening - and on the last day of treatment!!. I went to take my hair down and the strands just starting pulling out. So I took my brush and gently ran it through and more thinning, lot's more thinning....I went ahead and just cut it up to my shoulders and then gave it a gentle wash - still more thinning as the strands just kept coming. It seems to be more the in between or underlayers at this point then the top so I guess over the next few days and see what happens to the top and decide if I just need to shave it or not. Ironically I did pick up a sleep cap at their on site shop today after my appt.as a 'just in case'. Good thing cos looks like I'm going to need it to keep from shedding all over myself and everywhere else in the meantime. Again small potatoes. I guess some things no matter how much you prepare for them - you really aren't prepared until it happens. I'll do some more you-tubing on wrapping my scarfs and home-made turbans from T-shirts just to wear around the house. Gotta love those life hacks! Other than that it was a good day - everyone gathered round as I rang the bell! The staff there is so wonderful! I also had my follow up today and starting tomorrow I only take 1/2 a steroid every other day for a week then I'll be completely off right before I start my new pill for the 2nd 1/2 of the battle on the 28th with 'the pill'. After we left we just came back to the house and grabbed a bite to eat since my mom had her own appt. to go to. Then I napped!! Oh what a great nap it was - almost a solid 2hrs! And with no big plans tomorrow and no more treatments to have to go to I'm so doing that again lol. My body needs it and is thanking me for it. After napping I then broke out one of those jigsaw puzzles and really got sucked into it. It's been years since I've done one and forgot how relaxing they can be. And @Linda Thomas here is a pic of my pups - I'll try to get a side by side of them tomorrow!

I actually went back to the MD Anderson shop today and was able to switch out one of the night caps for a slouch type turban and asked her about the hair situation. Turns out they do it there for free as well! And since insurance will cover the wig I figured why not!! So I went ahead and tried on a few while I was there. I did find one that I really liked that matches my eyebrows natural color so I have an appt. on Friday to have it all taken care of! I figured I could wear it when we go out to dinner or do something special. But for right now I'm rocking the T-shirt turban with the rest of my hair tucked in. And I do love my babies - Tank is at my feet now (as always) snoring away! Which sounds like a great idea for me to do myself - recharge for a bit!

Sorry about the hair loss hellkat, I'm glad they warned you it could happen so it wasn't a total surprise to you. Your dog's are awesome, no one's getting around their mommy without you knowing it lol. I'm glad you found a place near you to get your hair shaved off. I bet they have tons of clues for you as far as where to get wigs, hats, turbans, etc as well as other clues to navigate this storm. I know I've said this a few times but I'm in awe of your positive outlook and how you are handling everything. It's really something impressive and I wish I had that quality in me, xoxo.

@hellkatbaby I love the selfie also. My kids and grand kids would take a homecooked meal and games over going out. I bet you are a super cook. Quitting smoking, I had not patience. I would have set the BF straight. You definitely do not need stress in your life. Puzzles and mind games are the best way to keep that brain in tune. I keep hoping you will finally be able to relax and get some good rest. That is important in your recovery. Have a wonderful day with your family.

Oh it's already dropped lol. I didn't even bother with it this AM as today I was supposed to up the dosage again. NOPE!! Since it's a trial drug and not regulated they of course wanted me to at least try it but said that it was my decision and that it wasn't something I HAD to take. So I'm not even going to sweat it!!

Thank you Jordan7 - I've always been one who really dives into strange rabbit holes however this one I am treading lightly as it can be a bit much to take all at once. I have been researching that Trial medication 'Memantine' and some of the case studies on it, especially after they said if they were to cut 1 drug that would be the one which made me stop and think 'ok wait a second - take it but don't take it.' Time to dig into that one - so all in all the studies are pretty much inconclusive. I then moved on to the side effects over time as you increase the drug dosage from one pill a day to 4 a day over time and they include: dizziness, headaches, constipation, fatigue, weight loss, swelling, increased heart rate and aggression. So in MY personal conclusion that is a big fat NOPE. You can keep that trial drug to yourself thank you very much! I'll stick with my puzzles and mind/memory games vs putting my body through all that crap. It is a healthy habit that even I forgot about and does make a huge difference. It's funny how we forget just the simplest of things while taking care of ourselves. For the most part all I drink now is water aside of a glass of orange juice. I even picked up some protein powder to make my shakes for the afternoons to help build that muscle mass I'm going to need. I think today I'll try the milk, banana and peanut butter one first - mmmm. Of course I picked the chocolate flavor!! Tonight we are doing a 'family' dinner vs going out. I'm having my son and mom over and just having a nice homecooked meal with everyone around the table and then break out the game boards! I might run by the goodwill when they open at 10 to see what board games they may have. Got to love a good thrift!!!

So I did start my new AM routine this morning and have to say - I feel really good and proud of myself! I found something nice on from the Livestrong foundation by the YMCA that seems perfect and low impact. I even have a new checklist to go down each AM to start my day. When I wake up I drink 8oz of water 1st thing. I don't chug it but just drink it and then use mindful breathing for 5 min. I make sure I eat protein, veggies and good fats for breakfast. Then rest and do some more mindful breathing before I start my exercises. Practicing my balance, the wall and clock crawl. Simple leg lifts to standing on one leg and then the other. Breathing exercises that are mindful for sleep and stress. They even have a cooling breath for those hot flashes!! Simple but useful things like hand and toe curls and using a stress ball. I really think this will be so helpful in just my new daily morning and evening routine. (or whenever I feel like it) At the end there is a fatigue assessment test to take and I have to admit on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst I would say I'm at a good 5 at the moment. Everything just feels right!! I know over time I will work myself up and get stronger and just the effort is the payoff! I think I have started to find that new balance and just had to share!! My mind is so at peace right now and I don't feel all jittery like I have to go clean something lol. I just feel good!!

:Thank you so much Linda!! just the words I needed to hear!! I made it til 3:30 uninterrupted so again not bad. I'm sure I'll go down again in a few hours and catch another hour or so of sleep or just rest. No big plans for today for me until around 5ish - there's a lady on one of my soaping forums who happens to be local and decided to buy my entire stash!! So she will be stopping by to pick that up. I love the whole pay it forward thing. Her son is special needs so she's really going to be surprised at all the extras she will be getting that she doesn't know about yet all the Starwars and kid themed soap molds that hopefully he will love to play with in the tub. Not to mention all the bubble bars!! Who doesn't love bubbles!! I just hope her car is big enough lol! Of course my BF will be here to help her load everything. We had to break down and buy a newer fridge yesterday. It seems my appliances want to give out one after the other but this thing was a good 15 plus yrs old and also on it's last leg. So we stopped by the habitat for Jax and found a really nice side by side with ice maker/water dispenser and tons of space and crisper drawers!! They also offer a warranty at a price that was a steal!! So out with the old and in with the newer - more room for all that good food and not having it fall out when we open the door lol. My BF and his coworker will be picking that up mid morning so we can get her plugged up and ready to xfer the food!! They plan on renting the UFC fight tonight and grilling out which is fine by me all I have to do is sit back and watch!! Yup it's going to be a good day!!

I'm getting there and fighting the whole way! I was able to sleep after my post last night even if it was for a short few hours it was nice! I'm holding out tonight hoping if I go to bed later then maybe I'll sleep a bit more. Worth a try at least. This AM after treatment I finally had to cave and go to Walmart. I needed to pick up on the bulk stuff and figured since it was early in the morning it wouldn't be to bad. Of course I ended up spending way more than I wanted (again). I've really got to get that under control lol. But nothing I got will go to waste for sure! I did pick up a $5 T-shirt that said 'I rolled my eyes so HARD I could see my brain!' I figured I'd wear that to tomorrows treatment . And I tossed a few yoga type pants in the basket since comfy style seems to be the easiest. Once I got back home though and started putting stuff away there was no stopping me - I was the little energizer bunny just pounding around the house. I feel like I'm going bonkers!! I must have re-arranged my kitchen cabinets 100x. Just crazy!! Like OCD type crap. I think I spent and hour on just arranging the spices alone.....WTH? I was such a creature of doing what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted and now I'm all Sally Homemaker and it's driving me nuts!! I want to go outside and take a walk but with the heat index at over 100* psht - NOPE! But I cant stay in these 4 walls much longer. I mean these daily trips here and there are fine (as long as I leave my wallet at home) but I want OUT! I feel I NEED to be doing something I just don't know what that is yet. I mean I'm being productive and active at least but I feel I just need something more. I guess with time and patience I'll figure it out. Baby steps. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!! Actually everyday for me is Friday it seems lol! And this weekend my son and I have our lunch or dinner date. That's that one time I don't worry about what I eat or think about what I'm going through - I just enjoy the time we have and make every second with him count. My sister should be back from out of town by next week and regardless of how things went before she left I really cant wait to see her again. I need my team back!! After the weekend I'll be down to my last 2 treatments then onto the 'pill' two weeks after that. I don't really like to stop and think about it much - sometimes the rabbit hole can get too deep and that's a place I don't care to venture down right now. My focus is good thoughts and vibes all the way!! Hope everyone has a good night!!