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I am saying NOPE to smoking for today.

I am not going to smoke today. NOPE.

Yeah, it was probably the leftover cigs and liquid.... I know it's self-destruction but I want to use it up and then quit again when my supply is exhausted. I've been reflecting a lot as I relapse. I had the old, crumpled pack of cigarettes stuffed down the side-pocket of my backpack since long before I quit. I thought my vape liquid (my preferred means of nicotine delivery) had run dry - that was actually my starting point for this Quit - but discovered a half full bottle just after relapsing and was pleased. In my seven days Quit I was biking and jogging almost daily. I was just starting to enjoy the sensation of my lungs opening up and my sense of smell sharpening. It felt good. The relapse has been intense. I went from just one cigarette to one an hour ...in one cigarette. And of course I couldn't wait to get home from my night shift to dig out the vape and load it up. Since then it's been shameful surrender to the addiction. I can feel my body saturated in nicotine and those sweet endorphins it releases. I can feel all the old, familiar monsters too. The stink, the cold, the jitters, the pain and the fear ...the toll. It's so sweet, and oh so stupid. This time when the cigarettes and liquid run out I'll hit the road running and won't look back.

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Nope

Yeah, it was probably the leftover cigs and liquid.... I know it's self-destruction but I want to use it up and then quit again when my supply is exhausted.

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I'm so sorry you struggled yesterday @Pilgrim You made it to almost a full 7 days which shows some strength, I'm glad you said that you made the conscious decision to smoke, accountability. It IS hard and even months down the line there are days you'll feel that desire but we know it can be done! I too had a strong desire to smoke yesterday, randomly, but I'm NOT giving up 4 months of my quit for what? To inhale poison? No. I know you know this but if you feel that strong desire again, maybe you can reach out here on the SOS thread and someone can help distract you? I'm assuming you had the cigarettes in your home and the vape too, it's always best to get rid of it when you quit, even lighters. Get rid of all the temptation from your home. I hope you're ok and not too hard on yourself (but not too lightly either ), we know it's difficult but it's a battle that is worth fighting! Let's get Day 1 started!

NOPE!

Yesterday was day seven of my quit. In the evening I made a sudden, conscious decision to smoke. It's like I stood at the rim and looked down in to the pit that is nicotine addiction and willingly jumped in that sweet, destructive hole again. Now I'm in it, with a few old cigarettes and half a bottle of vape liquid (about 5ml), telling myself I'll use this stuff up before I start the strenuous climb back to the surface. A day or two at most.

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nope

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NOPE!!

Nope!

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N.O.P.E.

N.O.P.E.

NOPE!

NOPE!