Depends if it has a crush on someone or not

 

If it's five o'clock somewhere can I have a beer at four?

I always thought it wad partial to durry.

 

Why do dogs and teenage boys have to stink so bad when they're wet?

 

11 hours ago, Sslip said:

 

 

 

@despair not we have Irish jokes...I was just embracing my own inner Irish and trying to work out an actual frickin answer thanks for saving the sanity.

It is five o'clock somewhere you can have a smoke at 9am.

 

See the smelly dog and boy question above.

It's proof they attempted to bath

 

Is a fence board bored?

Not bored just playing musical statues.

 

What flavour is the leaning tower of pizza?

Collapsichosa surely.

 

What flavour is the pie in the sky?

Pepperoni and pineapple

 

Why doesn't a stereo speaker speak?

It has no mind of its own, just someone elses voicebox

 

Is that a pizza pie you have all to yourself?

I hope so because being a twin I had to share most my life!

 

Is it  a pizza or a pie?

Who cares, if it has pineapple on, its wrong. Although re-evaluating based on recent education.

 

Did my chicago town pizzas really come from chicago?

Yes they are made in the local box factory

 

Do I have to play tennis to wear tennis shoes?

Yes although if you don't have a racket or someone to play against you are permitted to simply mime the actions for an hour a day.

 

(There is a get out clause. You can have a photo taken holding your bunny bum)

 

Is it bedtime yet?

It should be for you young man!

 

When they say rise and shine what are we supposed to shine?

For me it's my halo. Well it will be when I get rid of the rest of my vices.

 

I've tried reading between the lines, but see nothing. Is this normal?

 

 

No it's not. You may want to see an optometrist for that

 

What do you think whales talk about?

The temptation for some of the possible answers. Anyways -

It probably prefers "cancer stick" because no one calls it an "AIDS stick".  F*** me I am going to hell again.

 

So my question if i have not already asked this stupid-ass question -

What do hipsters like to be called? Like what is the "correct" name?

 

In my experience I only know one hipster I call him Darren which he seems to like.

 

why do kids like to ask why?

Edited March 24, 20188 yr by despair not

Because its a top when it spins.

 

How much can a koala bare?

Depends how brazen it is.

 

This one is very formal while this one goes as naked as the day he was born, apart from the stupid baby mask

 

Are ostriches ignoring what's going on around them or saying kiss my ass?

I know nusink...I see nusink.

 

Don't you just hate people who can't read body language and despite the obvious fvck off signals wanna hava  chat?

so anyway how are you today?

 

 

Do you think its gonna rain ?

 

 

 

 

Nah... Its gunna be sunshine and Lollypops cos some bastard sent England to Melbourne!?

 

Why do we call it lead when it used to be plumbum?

 

 

The ancient Romans used lead for making water pipes and lining baths, and the plumber who joins and mends pipes takes his name from the Latin word plumbum, meaning lead. Plumbum is also the origin of the terms 'plumb bob' and 'plumb line,' used in surveying and also the chemical symbol for lead, Pb (Who Knew !!)

 

 

How did we used to manage before computer search engines?

Edited March 24, 20188 yr by despair not

Once upon a time there were these things called books.

 

Why does grandad say I can't play the big black CDs because I'll wreck the stylus when there isn't even a screen?

(The kid last week..apparently "cos he said so" isn't the right answer and i should ask the phone peoples)

If you can play the big white CDs then he may be a little prejudice. You might want to talk to him about this

 

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

They get a X for a strike like ten pin bowling

 

Why cant we wear the funky ten pin bowling shoes outside a bowling alley?