that's something that I believe most smokers lack in skill.  For so many years we ran to our crutch....as soon as we felt uncomfortable in any way..anger, pain, lonliness, rejection, fear etc.all those unsettling emotions were quickly met with an escape...our good old trusty friend the cigarette. 

But little did we realize as smokers that those emotions would resolve themselves eventually without grabbing that smoke.  The smoke didn't really fix the problem or make us feel better.  The smoke just gave us time to sit with it. 

 

I think it's important to go out of your comfort zone every day, for many reasons.  I look at it as practice.  When you always stay in your comfort zone because it's safe and cozy it prevents you from taking chances that would enhance your life  because you don't feel comfortable going in that place.  Great things can come from stepping outside of your comfort zone and you may miss it because you want to run and hide from just being present with these emotions that won't kill you.  They won't.  Just like a craving won't kill you.

 

Working with the public for many years and just being facinated by human behavior..I have noticed ..people have a natural tendency to have a low tolerance. Low tolerance for pain, low tolerance for temperature changes, low tolerance for people, low tolerance for events that occur in their lives that are less than desireable..AND..low tolerance for cravings.  Only when we step out of this comfort zone regularly do we increase that tolerance.

 

This is probably why people who have had a hard life end up with great coping skills verses someone who was privileged and spoiled all their life.  When the shit hit's the fan....they are lost.  Also people who stay far too long in relationships or a job  than they should...simply because it's familiar, not because it's what's best for them.

 

Go out of comfort zone every day...you will be surprised how great it feels...how accomplished you feel...how many wonderful surprises await you.  You will soon find yourself looking for challenges because you will know from experience that good things come from doing so.

 

If you still smoke.....

 

 Quitting smoking is a wonderful place to start going out of your comfort zone.  Once you conquer that...amazing things start happening in your life.  Do it now...don't wait.  We are here to walk you through it every step of the way.

Also, isn't it funny when you go out of your comfort zone only to realize, "HEY - I'm more comfortable than ever before!"  We never know what will bring us peace and serenity unless we try new environments, new people, new scenarios, new habits.

so true!  It's our own minds...our unfounded fears....that prevent us from trying. 

from one of my favorite authors, Pema Chodron

 

"Finding the courage to go to the places that scare us cannot happen without compassionate inquiry into the workings of ego... Openness doesn't come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well"

also from Pema (love her...went to one of her workshops for a weekend retreat.  Changed my life.)

 

We think that by protecting ourselves from suffering, we are being kind to ourselves. The truth is we only become more fearful, more hardened and more alienated. We experience ourselves as being separate from the whole. This separateness becomes like a prison for us - a prison that restricts us to our personal hopes and fears, and to caring only for the people nearest to us. Curiously enough, if we primarily try to shield ourselves from discomfort, we suffer. Yet, when we don't close off, when we let our hearts break, we discover our kinship with all beings

It is truly amazing how empowering quitting smoking is...so much fear of new things gone...

Coincidentally I've been revisiting Chodron's writing.  

Pretty gosh darned amazing stuff.

Thank you Babs I took this post and reposted to help my friends

True!!  All of it.

These last few weeks I've been wayyy out of my comfort zone with my new job and traveling and having to meet and try and make a good impression on so many people.  (Tough stuff for a misanthrope.)   And it's been fine - better than fine.

Well written Babs! So very true for all of us once we reflect back.

So its okay to wear my wife's skirt and pretend to be Scottish?

So its okay to wear my wife's skirt and pretend to be Scottish?

Yes.

ok  selfies on other thread

What is this "comfort" of which you speak?

 

The Sarge does not understand.

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

On 4/29/2015 at 9:48 AM, babs609 said:

that's something that I believe most smokers lack in skill.  For so many years we ran to our crutch....as soon as we felt uncomfortable in any way..anger, pain, lonliness, rejection, fear etc.all those unsettling emotions were quickly met with an escape...our good old trusty friend the cigarette. 

But little did we realize as smokers that those emotions would resolve themselves eventually without grabbing that smoke.  The smoke didn't really fix the problem or make us feel better.  The smoke just gave us time to sit with it. 

 

I think it's important to go out of your comfort zone every day, for many reasons.  I look at it as practice.  When you always stay in your comfort zone because it's safe and cozy it prevents you from taking chances that would enhance your life  because you don't feel comfortable going in that place.  Great things can come from stepping outside of your comfort zone and you may miss it because you want to run and hide from just being present with these emotions that won't kill you.  They won't.  Just like a craving won't kill you.

 

Working with the public for many years and just being facinated by human behavior..I have noticed ..people have a natural tendency to have a low tolerance. Low tolerance for pain, low tolerance for temperature changes, low tolerance for people, low tolerance for events that occur in their lives that are less than desireable..AND..low tolerance for cravings.  Only when we step out of this comfort zone regularly do we increase that tolerance.

 

This is probably why people who have had a hard life end up with great coping skills verses someone who was privileged and spoiled all their life.  When the shit hit's the fan....they are lost.  Also people who stay far too long in relationships or a job  than they should...simply because it's familiar, not because it's what's best for them.

 

Go out of comfort zone every day...you will be surprised how great it feels...how accomplished you feel...how many wonderful surprises await you.  You will soon find yourself looking for challenges because you will know from experience that good things come from doing so.

 

If you still smoke.....

 

 Quitting smoking is a wonderful place to start going out of your comfort zone.  Once you conquer that...amazing things start happening in your life.  Do it now...don't wait.  We are here to walk you through it every step of the way.

 

 

bumpity bump 

Thank you Babs and Sazerac.