EB I need something..nothing works

Jess, you seem quite clear that you are in urgent need of stress relief and that cigarettes will do that for you. You know that there are many, many other ways to reduce stress-- many have been suggested here and you have even tried some of them-- but you really want to use cigarettes to reduce your stress, improve your sleep and stop your nightmares.

 

OK. I'll make a deal with you. Go ahead and start smoking again for 3 days. Buy some cigarettes on your way home tonight and smoke all you want from now through Sunday night. But the deal is that you need to notice, think about, and record EXACTLY HOW MUCH STRESS AND/OR RELAXATION YOU ARE FEELING before you smoke, during the smoke and after the smoke. You also need to record exactly how well you are or are not sleeping and how the nightmares are going. You must be completely honest with yourself as you notice and record these observations.

 

Then you come back here on Monday morning NOT SMOKING and tell us how well the cigarettes fulfilled your expectations for relieving your stress and helping you sleep. I don't believe that cigarettes will really help but I'm prepared to be proved wrong. If you are right-- if going back to smoking is just a super duper mood enhancer and sleep inducer for you, God bless you-- keep smoking until you are ready to quit again. But if you really are still stressed most of the time and still have a hard time sleeping most of the time, you will quit smoking again immediately. Then you will redouble your efforts to find some other way to reduce your stress and improve your sleep.

 

What do you say? Do we have a deal?

I just might. I can't be strong right now. sos won't help..I'm not sure anything will except time. Do I want to smoke..no but it is not a battle I care to fight right now. I have no idea what I will do about many things..my tears will run out soon my heart will feel better and I will dust off and march forward again...I just don't know when that will be and if I will keep my quit..it is what it is

Jess. It does work.

 

You quit. You did that. YOU work.

 

You are feeling low, beat up and kicked.

 

Smoke a cigarette and you will still feel all of that plus you will feel you gave up on quitting.

 

Many, many people close and far, living and dead are willing you on. Sending you strength.

 

To not smoke requires no action. To smoke requires a conscious, bad decision.

 

There are lots of ways to quit..,but sometimes it comes down to brute force and ignorance.

 

Not one puff ever. Just for today.

 

Don't smoke today Jess. You can do that.

I am just seeing all of this. I am going to elaborate a little more on what I was saying about seeing your primary before.... 

I am not talking about sleeping pills like ambien, I am talking about anti anxiety meds like Valium or Xanax because you are on an extreme edge. I don't know how often you are seeing your therapist but I do think that you may need to maybe ask for another appointment to talk. 

I gave you my phone number text me. You aren't taking me away from anything you can even call me and yell at me if you want to. Anything but smoking because that is not on the table you are three months in and you really don't want to start over. 

Oh Jen ..you mistook my email about counselor. That is what I do..and I know the grief I'm experiencing the stages the anger the barginning with what ifs. That is probably as helpful as it is not for me as I can't fix it. I really am trying to avoid

Me ds for the time being and sering if I can get through these grief stages. I am so angry that he is gone It is not fair. How can the two of us be joking and laughing one

moment and in a split second a life lost and mine feeling guilt sadness anger and lost. It's life..I get that but right now I want to scream cry and smile at his last words to me before we were hit...

I am heading to the store for that sleeping med and hope I sleep...last night little sleep but no bad dreams...I am trying to keep my quit...

:( You can do it Jess. I hope that the sleeping pills help you get some sleep. 

Thanks Jen. I took your recommendation of what to get..

KTQ at all costs...this is temporary and will pass. Been there, I know. Stay strong. We are all behind you and will not let you fall.

Hey Jess. hopefully you are sleeping....so very very quietly cheering from the sidelines.

 

Go Jess!

 

A terrible time Jess, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hey baby girl, thinking of you and also hoping you are getting some rest.

 

No idea really what to say or do but am here if you want to vent or talk.

 

x

I slept from 11- 5 am.. no dreams no restlessness out cold. I feel exhausted this morning but that's what coffee is for right?

Today I am hopeful for some sunshine and maybe even some smiles.

Thank you all for being here for me. You have no idea how much it means to me.xx

So glad you made it through to this morning. I hope the sun shines for you today.

I slept from 11- 5 am.. no dreams no restlessness out cold. I feel exhausted this morning but that's what coffee is for right?

Today I am hopeful for some sunshine and maybe even some smiles.

Thank you all for being here for me. You have no idea how much it means to me.xx

 

That is great..... 7 hours is solid.

 

Hold on... hold on... good things are a comin'

 

Keep on keepin on

Jess I am so glad that you got some sleep. I hope that the sun shines bright for you today. :wub:

Hey baby girl, thinking of you and also hoping you are getting some rest.

 

No idea really what to say or do but am here if you want to vent or talk.

 

x

Thanks Marti...that says a lot means a lotxx

Jess I swear by Camomile tea for helping me sleep, drink 1 or 2 cups before bed and it really helps you sleep. I have a Camomile tea while I'm in the bath, I put lavender oil and Epsom salt in the bath, normally have it an hour before bed and it really works. I also do this thing as soon as I get into bed called 4 7 8, breath in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and blow out for 8 seconds, sounds ridiculous but it really knocks me out and calms me cos I use to have alot of anxiety attacks at night and haven't had one since doing that.

Hope you're ok xxx

Sounds like great advice, Sue. I'm going to remember the chamomile tea, a hot bath, and 4,7,8 breathing. Thanks!

Scooby is that the pink stuff for poison ivy? That stuff don't help the ich at all.

No Bakon... I think she is talking about what a mammal with 2 humps on their back eats.

Either that or is is a meal that deer cannot see?

Slept last 2 nights all night long without dreaming about that night and without sleep aids! :-)

Slept last 2 nights all night long without dreaming about that night and without sleep aids! :-)

 

It is a great thing.

That's great, Jess! A chronic lack of sleep is SO debilitating! I'm glad that you've been able to do some catch-up.

Slept last 2 nights all night long without dreaming about that night and without sleep aids! :-)

Fantastic news.