The coke machine guess that the doctor is female(?) and gives you a clean bill of health; if the doctor is a specialist in ladies, you also get a clean bill of health. Win-win.

 

I insert breakfast sausage

you get a herd of squealing pigs

 

I insert a Kurt Vonnegut novel

*bump*

 

And the Coke machine spits out a thousand monkeys banging on typewriters

 

I insert a dozen Roach Motels

You get a visit from an exterminator.

 

I insert a winter like spring day.

And you get a spin class to warm you up.

 

I insert cherry trees covered with plastic to guard against a freeze warning

You get a reward once they start to bloom.

 

I insert a lot of clean laundry to put away  :(

you get folded clothes!!!

 

 

I insert a work week

You get a relaxing weekend.

 

I insert a mountain lion.

and aliens abduct you for experimentation.

 

I insert a voodoo doll

You get a cd

 

I insert an Easter egg

And you get a rabbit.

 

I insert a golf club

You get a birdie

 

I insert a sister-in-law

You get quiet.

 

I insert Monday

You get a long day and an early night.

 

I insert Patriots Day.

You get a marathon.

 

I insert male pattern baldness

you get a wooly hat

 

I insert a tv remote control

And get a soap opera

 

I insert a candle

You get dinner by candlelight. 

 

I insert 2 sleeping cats.

You get a warm fuzzy feeling

 

I insert a panting dog

you get a bowl of water

 

I insert chocolate ice cream

And you get improved mental health and a cold tongue.

 

I insert lettuce seeds

You get caesar salad

 

I insert a neck tie

And Dick Cheney pops out choking to death.

 

I insert a tablespoon of cod liver oil

you get a fresh roll of toilet paper. :blink:  

 

I insert a giant paper clip 

You get a stack of papers I don't feel like filing.

 

I insert stinky sneakers.